


look at the wonderful mess we made, we pick ourselves undone

by likelightninginabottle



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (Does He Realize That He Is a Service Top? Absolutely Not.), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, And They Were Roommates (Oh They Were Roomates), Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, Depending On One's Definition of Non-Sexual, Depending On One's Definition of Platonic, Homelessness, Implied/Referenced Depression, Jealousy, Language Barrier (Spoiler Alert: It's Love Languages), M/M, Marvel’s Infinity War Causes Genuine Distress, More Canon Compliant for a Human AU Than One Would Expect, More Phallic Metaphors Than The Author Would Care to Admit, Mutual Pining, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Platonic Kisses, Service Top Liam Dunbar, The Families We Can't Find and the Families Who Find Us, The Inherent Eroticism of Being In Love, The Inherent Eroticism of Guilt, The Inherent Eroticism of Sharing a Can of Shitty Ravioli In A Survival Bunker, The Intimacy of Knowing Someone and The Intimacy of Understanding Them Too, The Promises We Make in the Middle of a War, The Rituals We Keep and The People We Call Home, The Ways in Which We Cope With the Love We Feel for Others, The Ways in Which We Deal With The Love We Feel for Ourselves, physical affection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28319034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likelightninginabottle/pseuds/likelightninginabottle
Summary: Liam's eyes arewide, a little moony as he stares back at Theo. For a second, there's silence, and then, Liam hums a little, whiny, and Theo pulls the waffle obligingly out of his mouth. Liam licks his lips, says, completely seriously, "You're the light of my life." Theo snorts, pushing the waffle back into his mouth, and then shoving his shoulder towards the front door. "Go,"Theo protests, shaking his head exasperatedly as he laughs.Liam says something else, but it's absolutely incomprehensible through the thick waffle stuffed in his face. Jacob frowns, but Theo just smiles. "I know you will," Theo replies, and Liam mumbles something back, and then the door is shut. Jacob frowns harder, unlocking his phone, and typing out a text.Me:dude I slept w the cutie from english lit and I'm p sure the guy's hot bf is making me breakfast rn what do I do
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 142
Kudos: 179
Collections: Thiam Holiday Gift Exchange 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LI0NH34RT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LI0NH34RT/gifts).



> For Janna, one of the kindest, most supportive people I know. Your words always make me smile :)  
> You asked for a College/University AU, and I hope I delivered :D hope you have a very happy holiday season, lovely :)
> 
> This is NOT at all what I thought it would be, but instead, something that grew until it kind of took on a life of it's own.
> 
> Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoy :) happy holidays!!

" _Honey,"_ he hears Theo call out, the front door of their apartment squeaking loudly as it opens. He flicks the lights on suddenly, and Liam had to squint through the brightness, " _I'm home_ ," and that's when the girl in his lap detaches her mouth from Liam's with a loud smacking noise, falling to the floor in a messy heap, the betrayal on her face almost _comical_ as she starts scrambling to button her top back up and grab her purse. Liam struggles to say _something_ , _anything_ that would fix this, but Theo's surprised _"Oh,_ " of realization caused the girl's head to whip up before Liam can think of something to remedy the situation.

"You _asshole_ ," she hisses, smacking his shoulder with her purse _hard_ as she tries sliding one red high-heel back onto her shoe, and then smacks him again, even _harder_ , as she hunts for the other one. Theo picks it up from the floor by the front door and holds it up obediently, using only his pinky, seeing as the rest of his arms are _loaded_ with bags of groceries, looking uncomfortable, but he can't be anywhere _near_ as uncomfortable as Liam feels, as Theo's cooperative gesture makes her look even _more pained_. "You told me you were _single_ ," she snaps, marching back to where Liam's sitting on the couch, dumbstruck, apparently just to land a sharp slap on his cheek, before returning to the front door and grabbing the shoe from Theo's hands with a furious, "I'm _so_ sorry," before she's storming out, absolutely _fuming._

There's a slightly tense silence for a couple seconds, before Theo quietly shuts the door with his foot.

"You didn't tell me you were having company over," Theo says finally, and his tone is accusatory, but he looks a little shifty, a little guilty, like Liam's about to blame _him_ for his date slapping him across the face.

"I know," Liam replies, trying to inject as much apology as possible into the two syllables, before smiling sheepishly. "Sorry?"

Theo rolls his eyes, but the corner of his mouth twitches up into one of his cute little half-smiles, and Liam relaxes slightly. "You can call her back," Theo offers, "if you want. You can put me on the phone, and I can explain to her that we're not--" he gestures vaguely in the air, as best as he can with a hand that's still full of grocery bags, " _y'know_."

"Oh, Jesus, have you been holding those the entire time?" Liam realizes, rushing off the couch to take half the load into his own hands because there have to be at _least_ a couple hundred pounds of groceries in the bags, and he _knows_ how much Theo can bench (knows _precisely_ how much Theo can bench, because he, _ahem_ , spends a lot of time _thinking about it_ ), but it still has to be a strain on his stupid handsome shoulders.

"I--" Theo blinks, flexing his newly-emptied hand reflexively, and watching Liam like he's trying to puzzle him out. "Yeah. Uh, thanks."

"I'm not calling her back," Liam answers, realizing he never replied to Theo's offer. "I don't, uh, have her number."

"Or her name?" Theo teases, a smarmy grin spreading across his face and Liam's face _flames_ because it's not like he's _wrong_ , but. He shoves Theo towards the kitchen, and it makes Theo _cackle_. "Okay, _Casanova_ ," Theo replies, snickering as he places the bags on the kitchen island, and Liam can't help the snort as he does the same, "whatever," Theo says, smiling at Liam in a way that makes his stomach all fluttery, "just help me put the groceries away."

\---

Liam's next one-night stand goes _better_ , but that's not saying much.

For one, he almost called out Theo's name _during_ , with Brett the Asshole From PHIL 301 Eastern Philosophy Through the Ages's mouth wrapped around his dick, which would've been _really_ fucking embarassing, since the walls of their apartment aren't thick enough for Theo to _not_ hear. That is, if Theo was even _home_ , since he's been staying later and later at the library, trying to burn a tall stack of offensively thick medical textbooks into his brain. But the point is, his entire mission to get rid of his inconvenient lovesickness via sex with strangers, has been fairly unfruitful so far.

Yeah, Brett the Asshole is proportional _everywhere_ , and yeah, he has an eight-pack, and yeah, the sex is good enough, but none of that renders him immune to Liam's death glare when he finally emerges from his bedroom for breakfast, only to find him standing _way_ too close to Theo in the kitchen, who's laughing as he flips a chocolate-chip pancake shirtless, because he truly is the perfect man, and Liam doesn't know why he thought anyone could even _begin_ to compare.

The point _is_ that Brett the Asshole's fingers are skating over the swell of muscle on Theo's shoulder, he's whispering something that Liam only catches the tail end of, "--bet not that many guys could actually pick you up, hold you against the wall, the way you like, the way you _need_ , but _I--"_ , and Liam's blood is absolutely _boiling_ , the sight of someone else's hand on Theo's bare shoulder making something twisted and ugly rise up inside him as he manages a terse, "Hey, Brett," and only _just_ resists the urge to add _'the Asshole'_ , although he says it in his head, "don't you have somewhere to _be?"_ and _that_ finally catches their attention as they turn to Liam, Brett the Asshole looking _supremely annoyed_ while Theo just seems amused.

"It seems," Theo says, smiling as he ladles some more batter onto the pan, "that you have somewhere to be."

"It does seem that way, doesn't it," Brett the Asshole responds, grinning shamelessly back at him, because, once again, he's an _asshole_ , but his eyes still rove over Liam, clearly checking him out, but somehow _still_ managing to make it condescending, shooting a quick "Call me," at Liam, with a wink, before he gives _Theo_ a meaningful look, murmuring a quick, _"You too,"_ into his ear, and Theo just snorts, which is something that Liam doesn't understand the meaning of until Brett's out the door and Theo finally turns all the way around to place a plate of pancakes in front of Liam, and Liam performs his perfunctory, helpless, daily inspection, eyes skating appreciatively down Theo's bare chest and defined stomach, before he finally gets to the defined V of his lower abdomen (since Theo's sweatpants always hang _so low_ on his hips that it makes Liam lose his fucking _mind_ ), and Liam catches the string of numbers written along the sharp cut of muscle right above Theo's waistband that look like they were scrawled there with permanent marker. It takes him a second to work it out in his head, and then:

"Is _that_ ," he splutters, choking on a _delicious_ absolutely incredulous, "Brett the Asshole's _number?"_

"He's persistent," Theo admits, with a graceful half-shrug, the muscles shifting under his skin in a way that makes Liam's mouth water. It _almost_ distracts him from the _fury_ building inside. Almost. "And opportunistic," he adds. "I'll give him that."

"Are you," Liam tries, voice cracking _horribly_ , before he clears his throat and tries again, "Are you going to call him?"

Theo narrows his eyes into a _supremely unimpressed_ expression, crossing his arms over his chest in a way that makes his arms flex and pushes his pecs together distractingly, and boring into Liam with the kind of stare that Liam _knows_ means that he's trying to work out whether Liam's being serious, or whether Liam's being extra stupid that day just to spite him.

"You're an idiot," Theo replies, voice flat as he deftly steals the plate of pancakes from right under Liam's nose, and he's taking them into his bedroom and shutting the door before Liam can even _begin_ to react. Liam _thunk_ s his head down on the counter, lamenting the loss of his delicious pancakes, and absently wondering if chocolate chips would taste even better if he licked them off of Theo's tongue.

\------

Jacob mostly sleeps with Liam Dunbar because he fills out a lacrosse jersey really well and Jacob's bored, and they're both procrastinating the paper they're supposed to be writing.

It was pretty good, better than he though it would be honestly, because you never know with a boredom-fuck. Liam's just as pretty when he comes, which is appealing, even though he's pretty sure that he called out someone else's name.

Whatever, it wasn't anything personal. To be fair, Jacob called out someone else's name too.

None of that explains how he was caught sneaking out by one of the most attractive guys he's seen in his _life_ , sat down in front of the counter on one of the stools, bemusedly chewing on a piece of the _best damn bacon_ he's ever had, eyeing the completely full plate in front of him.

Liam's roommate isn't wearing a shirt, which Jacob is pretty sure is _extremely_ dangerous, grease burns and all that, but at least it makes for a nice view.

 _(_ "Wait a second," he'd said, "Don't tell me your name. I like to guess. Call me a masochist, but it's a little game I play with myself." Jacob just stands there dumbly, completely unsure how to respond, his fingers twitching where they've stilled from buttoning up his shirt, but luckily, the guy isn't expecting a reply. He just narrows his eyes, calculating. "Are you. . ." he pauses for a second, arms crossing over his chest, "Todd?" Jacob shakes his head, bemused, because that seems like the only appropriate response in this scenario. The guy hums in response, considering Jacob carefully. "Should've guessed," he replies. "I don't think you're short enough." He makes his way through _Peter, Joey, and Lance_ , and then, with _extreme skepticism_ , _Vikram_ , before: " _Oh,"_ he snaps his fingers twice, in apparent realization, " _eyebrows_ ," he notices, "are you the one who's hamster keeps getting diarrhea? Jack, or something?"

Jacob brings his fingers to his eyebrows self-consciously, absently correcting, "Jacob," before, "wait, we've never met, how'd you _know?"_

The guy laughs, a little bitter, before turning the stove on. "Liam talks a lot," he says. "I know things you wouldn't _believe."_ )

He was hoping to make a break for it before Liam woke up to avoid the awkward morning-after bullshit, but apparently, besides the god-tier bacon and spontaneous shirtlessness, luck is not on his side today, and Liam _bursts_ from his bedroom, scrambling gracelessly into the living room, his shirt barely over his head, pants still unzipped, hair a mess as he tries to shove one foot into a shoe and almost brains himself on the coffee table. He doesn't even notice Jacob still sitting there, and Jacob takes it as the blessing it is.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Hot Shirtless Harbinger of Legendary Bacon calls out, snickering to himself in the kitchen.

" _No_ ," Liam insists, and Jacob barely even _knows_ the guy, but even _he_ can tell that it's a lie. "Of course not. How could I possibly forget the _extremely important fucking project that's worth forty-percent of my goddamn Chem grade?_ The one that I haven't finished yet that's due in. . ." he swivels around to check the clock on the microwave, " _twenty minutes, oh my god."_ Liam gets the shoe on, but only barely, tripping over the arm of the couch on his hunt to apparently find the other one, which he gets shoved on his other foot, just as unceremoniously. Jacob's pretty sure they're on backwards, but Liam doesn't even notice, casting his eyes around the room frantically. "Oh fuck, oh god, _Theo,_ " he calls out, raking his hands through his hair, harried, " _shit,_ where's my--"

"Coffee table," Attractive Bare-Chested Bacon Chef God, or, _Theo_ apparently, calls back.

Liam turns around, sighing in apparent relief and swiping the wallet and keys off the corner of the coffee table, before beginning another visual hunt, that's just as fruitless. Jacob watches on as he pops another piece of bacon into his mouth, entertained. Breakfast and a show is more than he expected to get out of this walk-of-shame. Liam huffs in frustration. "And--?"

"Bedroom," Theo replies, and Liam shuffles to the hallway past the kitchen. " _Your_ bedroom, dumbass," he clarifies, without even turning around, and Liam groans in frustration, before switching directions, and disappearing around the corner.

Theo abandoning the stove for a bit to open a waffle maker and pull out a perfect, golden-brown waffle, deftly slicing a couple of strawberries, before, all of a sudden, screaming, " _Marco!"_ and Jacob _jolts_ so hard he almost falls off the stool, but he steadies himself just in time to hear Liam's faint, but still _screamed_ reply of " _Polo!"_

" _You went too far in,"_ Theo yells, placing each slice of strawberry onto the waffle carefully, with a gentleness completely belaying to his volume. " _Check under the desk."_

Liam emerges from his bedroom a couple moments later, still frazzled, but at least with his bag slung over his shoulder, as he trips over his own feet in his haste to get to the door. He fumbles with the knob for a second, before he finally gets the door open.

" _Hey, asshole,_ " Theo says, clearly annoyed, actually turning around for once as he plants his hands on his hips, "you forgot your goddamn _food_."

Liam turns on his heel, marching to the kitchen, and Theo hands him a brown sack, eyeing Liam's full hands, taking the waffle from the plate into his hand and staring at it for a second calculatingly before folding it in half, sandwiching the strawberries safely in the middle, and tapping twice on Liam's chin. Liam opens his mouth obediently, and Theo fits it carefully in between his teeth. " _Eat_ on your way there _,"_ Theo insists, narrowing his eyes dangerously, and Liam nods a little, absently presenting his forehead to Theo in a way that seems reflexive _, habitual_ , and Theo obliges, dropping a quick kiss right below his hairline. Jacob chokes on his bacon, but neither of them seem to notice. "And besides," Theo adds, "I printed your report in the library before I left last night, so," he rubs the back of his neck, a little awkwardly, "you can, y'know. Chill a little bit."

Liam's eyes are _wide_ , a little moony as he stares back at Theo. For a second, there's silence, and then, Liam hums a little, whiny, and Theo pulls the waffle obligingly out of his mouth. Liam licks his lips, says, completely seriously, "You're the light of my life." Theo snorts, pushing the waffle back into his mouth, and then shoving his shoulder towards the front door. " _Go,"_ Theo protests, shaking his head exasperatedly as he laughs.

Liam says something else, but it's absolutely incomprehensible through the thick waffle stuffed in his face. Jacob frowns, but Theo just smiles. "I know you will," Theo replies, and Liam mumbles something back, and then the door is shut. Jacob frowns harder, unlocking his phone, and typing out a text.

 ** _Me:_** dude I slept w the cutie from english lit and I'm p sure the guy's hot bf is making me breakfast rn what do I do

It takes a couple seconds of waiting, but:

**_roomie :P :_** bro…

 ** _roomie :P :_** is the breakfast good??

 ** _Me:_** it's SO fucking good??? wtf

 ** _Me:_** 'take him home to meet my mother' good

He pauses for a second, chewing his lip as he deliberates.

**_Me:_** is it an asshole move if I present myself as the v available alternative for his horrible cheating bf right after I slept w said horrible cheating bf

 ** _roomie :P :_** yes

 ** _roomie :P :_** do it

 ** _Me:_** they're actually really cute?? I'm so confused

 ** _Me:_** whatever imma shoot my shot wish me luck

 ** _roomie :P :_** godspeed bro

Theo says _no,_ but he's so goddamn _nice_ about the whole thing, shirtless and smiling, that Jacob can't even bring himself to be too upset by it. He just finishes his bacon and enjoys the view.

\------

It's not like Theo _accepts_ the phone number, but Liam's so fucking _annoyed_ by the whole thing, by no man apparently being resistant to the Theo Raeken charm, _annoyed with himself, annoyed with Theo, annoyed with fucking everyone,_ that he sticks to girls for a while after that.

\---

Liam gives up on the prospect of a one-night stand successfully making him fall out of love with Theo after that. Instead, he tries dating. Granted, it's not like he dates any of them for _long_ , but he's _trying his best._ Trying to find, like, an alternative or something, but it's like trying to calm a rampant meth craving with half a nicotine patch.

Theo adapts gamely, because he's perfect and supportive and still so infuriatingly good-looking that it makes Liam's teeth ache. Liam hates him.

"Diana _,"_ Theo greets the first time he sees her, perfectly pleasant, when she comes to their apartment to drive her and Liam to a movie. "It's nice to finally meet you," he says, with an annoyingly charming smile. Liam has to unglue his eyes from Theo's mouth to actually look at Diana.

Diana narrows her eyes. "My name is _Rachel,_ " she spits, fuming. Theo swivels on his heel to face Liam, face puzzled. Liam freezes where he was attempting to shove his feet into his sneakers.

"Uh," Liam manages uncertainly, "are you _sure?"_ He's been dating her for four days now.

" _Uh,"_ Diana (Rachel?) mocks, eyebrows raised, " _Yeah,_ I'm _sure_ , the fuck?"

She's out the door and in the elevator before Liam can even put his other shoe on, and Liam's stumbling out the door trying to catch up to her.

" _Wait!"_ he calls down the hallway, "I'm _sorry_ ," he tries, "I'll make it up to you! I'll walk your dog for the next month! Di-- _Rachel,_ please _!_ "

"I don’t _have_ a dog, asshole!" she screams, as the elevator doors close on her _furious_ , flushed face.

There's an uncomfortable bout of silence.

"Corinne was the one with the dog," Theo offers quietly from somewhere behind him.

Liam slumps into the wall, frowning. "Who the fuck is Corinne?"

\---

"Oh, thank _god_ ," Theo says, making his way from the kitchen, a little harried, "I was afraid you were gonna be crazy late again, and I would have to ask _Mason_ to _drag_ your ass from--" he freezes, as he actually catches sight of Liam in the doorway. "Who's this?" Theo asks slowly, staring at the girl next to Liam like she's an _alien_.

Liam wraps an arm around her waist, but she's really not standing close enough to him for the action to be natural, so it kind of hurts his arm. He tries a winning smile. "This is Sonia," he replies.

" _Sonali,_ " she corrects, frowning a little.

"That's what I said," Liam maintains, still forcing a smile so bright that it makes his face cramp a little. There's a little vein that starts to pulse in Theo's forehead.

"Okay," Theo says carefully, "and _what_ , exactly, is _Sonali_ doing at family Thanksgiving?"

Sonali shoots a betrayed look at Liam. " _Family Thanksgiving?"_ she hisses, incredulous, " _You said this was a casual, friendly get-together."_

Liam ignores her, doing his best to maintain the face cramp around his mouth. "Sonali's my plus one," Liam says. "She's my _girlfriend_. She should be here."

Theo massages his temples. " _Liam,"_ he grits out through clenched teeth, "this is _family Thanksgiving._ There are no _plus one_ s."

"Yeah?" Liam sets his jaw, a little mulish. "What about Mason and Corey?"

Corey watches on from the couch, disbelieving, while Mason pokes his head into the living room from the kitchen. The rest of the room is dead silent. Nolan and Alec have paused their incomprehensible card game on the dining table, staring up incredulously.

"Tell me," Theo says, eyebrows raised, "out of Mason and Corey, who, exactly, do you think is the plus one? _"_

Liam freezes, caught.

"They're both family," he concedes.

"They're both family," Theo agrees. "Because _this is_ ," there's emphasis on every single syllable, like they're being punched from Theo's diaphragm, " _goddamn family Thanksgiving."_

\---

Dinner is absolutely silent, just the clinking of metal on glass and quiet chewing noises, everyone around the table staring at Liam like he's grown a second head, which Liam privately thinks is a little unfair

"The stuffing is _really good_ , Theo," Mason offers.

" _Really good_ ," Alec echoes, through a mouthful of food.

"This is the best turkey I've ever had," Nolan says, grinning.

"I think you've outdone yourself," Corey agrees.

Sonali hums agreeably. "Your mashed potatoes have _flavor_ ," she says, sounding impressed.

"Thanks, guys," Theo replies, looking a little flushed with the praise, ducking his head, and Liam is so distracted by the pink spreading down past the collar of his shirt, that he _jolts_ when someone aims a sharp kick at his shin. He can't tell who the culprit is though, since _everyone_ is shooting daggers at him with their eyes, even _Sonali_ , and Liam realizes that he hasn't said anything yet.

"It's amazing," Liam says, and Theo's pretty eyes are locked with his, and Liam feels warm all over, like he's going to burst out of his skin, "like it always is. _You're_ amazing."

Theo smiles, small and soft, and the color brightens, a bit, on the apples of his cheeks and Liam _aches_ to feel if they're as warm under his lips as they _look_ like they would be. "Thanks, Liam," he replies quietly, almost a whisper, as he ducks his head again, and Liam can't do anything but _stare_ , feeling so terribly lovesick that he thinks he might explode.

\---

Dinner mostly goes downhill from there.

"So," Sonali says, trying to break the awkward quiet that quickly descended, bless her heart, "you guys celebrate Thanksgiving early?"

"Yeah," Theo replies, "me and Liam are heading home tomorrow to spend Thanksgiving with his parents, but then we wouldn’t get to see the rest of the guys."

"Family problems with yours?" Sonali grimaces sympathetically.

"I guess you could say that," Theo says, laughing sardonically. "They're dead."

\---

Tara Raeken drowned in a creek and Johnathan Raeken drank himself to death and Lisa Raeken got into a car accident that may or may not have been purposeful. All of this was one after the other, sometime in mid-December. At least, that's what Theo tells people, because it's much nicer than the reality that after Tara's death, after her heart was placed into Theo's chest to replace his own, faulty one, Theo's parents didn't have enough patience or love left for him, and dropped him off at a group home on their way out of town, the first chance they got; an orphan at nine-years old, for no reason other than a lack of care. They just didn't want him anymore.

Liam's the only person in the entire world who Theo has told the truth to, and it's a secret he'll take to his grave.

This is the story Theo tells people, and this is the story Liam tells Sonali right before she breaks up with him for making her sit through that _awful, awkward_ dinner, and lying to her by pretending it was a casual thing.

"I'm pretty sure you should apologize to your friend," she says, eyebrows raised and arms crossed, "like _soon._ Because that was a real _asshole_ move. Also, give him my number, would you?"

"I--" Liam splutters, "He's _gay_."

"After _that_ date," she says, "I think _I_ might be too." She snickers, "As a _friend_ then, you _weirdo_. My parents are dead too. We could start a club. And also, I want to wheedle that mashed potato recipe out of him." She grins, like a shark. "Besides," she says, "looks like you're on thin, fuckin' ice, man. You _really_ messed up. Maybe I'll replace you at the next _family Thanksgiving_."

She shuts the door in his face. Liam scowls.

\---

When Liam gets home, the food is already put away, the lights are off, and Alec, Nolan, Mason, and Corey are passed out in the living room. Theo's in his bedroom, with the door locked.

"Theo?" he tries, whispering as loud as he can to be heard through the door. There's no reply. He tries three more times, before just heading to his own bedroom, determined to apologize in the morning, before the drive back to Liam's parents'.

Theo doesn't do their traditional three-hour road trip back to Beacon Hills. In fact, Liam wakes up to a cold, empty apartment, and a note on the coffee table.

_Going back to Beacon Hills w/ Mase and Cor_

_T_

And then, underneath it, in much smaller print, like he just couldn't help himself.

_Food in fridge if you get hungry._

_1 min 30 sec in the microwave_

Liam's heart drops into his stomach. He may have miscalculated this one.

\---

The drive back home is quiet and lonely, made even more so by the fact that _Theo_ would normally be the one driving, cracking jokes about some of Liam’s more horrible family members and fighting with Liam for control over the radio.

Liam gets to pick his own music for the entire duration of the drive.

It doesn’t feel like a victory.

\---

Theo at the Geyer household is, like, Liam’s third favorite Theo of all time. He’s always smiling and his hair flops in front of his face in a way that makes Liam’s fingers itch to brush it out of his eyes, and he wears the kind of sweaters that look so big and warm that Liam wants to try crawling in there _with him._ He forgoes his contacts in favor of glasses, and the whole devastating image of it is so domestic, that it makes Liam’s heart _pound._ It makes him want to do something stupid like reel him in by his sweater and see if his distracting red mouth tastes as good as it look, pin him up against a wall and see how low that pretty flush goes, sneak his hands down the back of Theo’s distractingly filled-out jeans, and—

Well.

It doesn’t matter, any of it, because he doesn’t get to see Theo. In fact, the second he enters the house, his mom is pulling him into a hug and a cheek kiss, before whisking him off to the master bedroom, where she at least takes the time to shut the door, before hissing, “ _What_ did you _do?”_ , eyes narrowed, hands planted on her hips. It’s an expression Liam has seen on Theo’s face nearly once a week.

“ _Nothing,”_ Liam protests reflexively, before cracking. “Why? Did Theo say something?”

“Just three things,” his Mom says, brows furrowed, “I asked him how Thanksgiving on campus went. He said,” one hand coming up from its perch on her hip to count them out on her fingers: “ _It was good. Liam brought his girlfriend. She was nice._ ” She crosses her arms. “Nothing else. He’s been in the kitchen with your father ever since, working on the pie filling. So,” she says, “girlfriend, huh? Must be pretty serious if you brought her to _Theo’s_ Thanksgiving. How long have you been together?”

Liam swallows, ducking his head. “Uh,” he says, fidgeting a bit, “two days. And she broke up with me right after.”

“You brought a stranger to Theo’s family Thanksgiving,” she says slowly.

“I brought a stranger to Theo’s family Thanksgiving,” Liam echoes miserably.

\---

They don’t even head over to Scott’s together for pizza and video games, like they usually do the day before Thanksgiving, since Theo still seems to be avoiding him. He goes to the McCalls’ just to find him already there, in the corner with Stiles and Malia and Lydia, slumped over and propped up against Stiles’ lanky shoulder, a large glass of cider in his hands, seemingly well on his way to becoming truly and fantastically drunk.

He tries to catch Theo’s eyes, but Theo doesn’t even look at him.

Liam sighs and settles in on the couch with Scott and Kira for a vicious game of Super Smash Bros.

It’s nice. It’s good to see everyone after a semester away.

The pizza comes two hours in, and Malia gets up to answer the doorbell, swinging the door open and swiping the large stack out of the man’s arms, and turning over her shoulder to scream, “ _Hey, Theo, can you spot me a twenty?_ ”

"Oh, I'm sorry," Theo laughs, sardonic, his words a little messy and slurred together, "I'm running a little low on funds these days from all the extra food I have to make for guests, since Liam is trying to fuck his way through our entire goddamn school."

The room goes dead silent. Liam stares at him dumbly, gaping, barely even hearing Malia's uncomfortable, _Okay, I guess, do you take debit?,_ by the front door.

" _Sorry,"_ Theo says, sounding genuinely apologetic. He frowns, but it seems to be directed inwards. " _God_ , I'm _sorry_. That was mean. I think I might've had a little too much." He winces, but the expression is a little sloppy on his face. "M'tired, ignore me. Think I'm gonna go to sleep." He gets up, very suddenly, swaying dangerously on his feet, before Liam rushes to catch him, hands wrapped bracingly around Theo's waist. "N't you," he mumbles, pushing Liam's hands away, movements uncoordinated but still deliberate, "can't even," he slurs, "fuckin' look at you r'ght n'w."

Liam's heart plummets all the way down into his turning stomach.

Theo sways again, but this time Stiles shoots up from where he's sitting to catch him. He wraps Theo's arm around his neck, taking some of his weight. "I've gotcha, bud," he murmurs, and then Theo slumps in his hold, putting _most_ of his weight on Stiles, and he starts to wheeze a little. " _Fuck,"_ he strains, scrambling to hold Theo up, "Kira? A little help, please?"

Kira makes her way over to them, taking the rest of Theo's weight easily, her biceps straining underneath her muscle tee, even as she doesn't break a sweat. Together, they manage to get him into one of the guest bedrooms.

"Uh," Scott says eloquently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Liam shrugs. "Not much to say," he replies. "I ruined Thanksgiving."

"Of course you didn't," Lydia counters, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "You're a sweet kid. You wouldn't ruin Theo's favorite holiday, the last real time he spent with his family before they all died horrifically, the one he spends _three days_ in advance preparing for," she says, narrowing her eyes, challenging, " _would you?"_

"Apparently," Liam laughs bitterly, "I _would."_

\---

"I don't _understand_ ," Scott says, frowning. "A stranger? Why would you do that?"

" _Because,"_ Liam groans, "I wanted to get _serious_ , fast, and Thanksgiving seemed the best way to do it?" Scott shoots him an incredulous look. Liam throws up his arms, exasperated. "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the _time."_

"What's going on with you these days?" Scott asks, a small, concerned line making itself apparent between his eyebrows. " _'Fuck his way through our school'_? ' _Get serious, fast'?_ "

" _Oh my god,"_ Lydia whispers, eyes wide. "You figured it out, didn't you?"

Scott frowns harder, tilting his head. "Figured _what_ out?" Liam shrinks into his seat.

Lydia purses her lips. "He finally figured out," she says, eyebrows raised, "that he's in love with Theo. And, let me guess," she crosses her arms over her chest, "instead of just telling him, like a normal person, you're trying to . . . What? Find an alternative? Get him out of your system? Forget about him?"

Liam groans, planting his face in his hands. "How about D: all of the above."

Scott sighs, face looking drawn and tired. " _Liam_ ," he says, looking like he's aged twenty years in the last twenty seconds, "just _tell_ him. I _promise_ it'll work out better than whatever you're trying to do here."

"You don't understand," Liam says, waving his arms around. "It's not like I _just_ fell in love with him. I'm pretty sure I've been in love with him since senior year, actually, I just thought it was, like, a _crush_ , or something," he groans, "until a couple months ago. And I need to get _rid_ of it, because it's not like Theo feels the same _way_ , or he would've _said_ something, and I--" his throat starts closing up, embarassingly, and Lydia puts a small, comforting hand on his back, rubbing small, soothing circles, "I can't _lose him_ ," he chokes out, "He's the best thing in my _life_ , I can't _lose him."_

"You _won't_ lose him," Scott insists, firm.

" _Scott,"_ Liam grits out, "I can't _risk it._ You know what happened that month he did the study abroad thing? It was a _disaster._ "

Scott furrows his brows even harder. "I called to check in on you. You said you were _fine."_

"I _lied_ ," Liam hisses back. "I tried to cook mac and cheese and somehow set a grease fire. Our entire building had to be evacuated, and the firefighters had to come to fumigate our apartment. I had to get Mason and Corey to help me replace our furniture, because everything got water damage."

Lydia stares. Scott gapes.

"After that," Liam continues, "I stopped trying to cook, and so I ended up not even _touching_ a vegetable for _weeks_. And so I got rapid-onset scurvy."

Lydia frowns. "You can't get scurvy that fast."

Liam nods. " _Apparently_ , symptoms should take over three months to develop," he rolls his eyes, "guess I'm fucking _special_. So, yeah, grease fire, furniture, scurvy, oh and _also_ , I got a little arrested."

" _A little arrested,"_ Scott echoes, sounding a little faint.

"I don't really want to get into it," Liam says, massaging his temples to try and soothe the impending migraine, "but _yeah_. A little arrested. So, basically, the worst month of my life. And that's not even taking into account how much I fucking _missed him_ , _god._ And he was so _happy there_ , he made so many fucking friends, and he had such a great time, and he just--" Liam sucks in a ragged breath. "Theo would be _fine_ without me, but I would be _destroyed_ without him, so I can't, okay? I can't, I _won't_ risk him." Liam scrubs a hand across his eyes, bemused when it comes back wet. "He can't _leave."_

" _Liam_ ," Scott whispers, sounding _destroyed._ "You _know_ he wouldn't leave." Scott places a broad palm on his shoulder, while Lydia stays quiet. "And," Scott says tentatively, "you know if you ever want to talk about," he drops his voice lower, "your _Dad_ , I'm here to--"

"This _isn't_ because of _him_ ," Liam snaps, and _Christ_ , he must have _Daddy issues_ written on his fucking forehead, because the concerned looks don't leave their faces.

\---

Liam finally corners Theo right before Thanksgiving dinner, the next evening.

 _Literally_ corners him, backing him into the corner of the garage, where he had gone to get trash bags.

Theo grabs them off a shelf, and when he turns around, they're almost chest to chest.

" _Oh,"_ Theo startles, eyes wide, jolting hard enough that he's pushed harder against Liam. Liam's arms shoot out automatically to steady him, and they end up with Liam's hands firm on Theo's hips.

" _Hi,"_ Theo breathes.

They're both breathing hard, even though they're just standing there. Theo looks a little pink, and Liam feels hot all over. Theo’s eyes are big and green and his hair is messy his breath smells like cider and there's a little flour on his jawline and his sweater is _hideous_ and Liam _loves him._

" _Hi,"_ Liam echoes nonsensically, manfully resisting the urge to lean in and lick the cider off of Theo's lips. He shakes himself. "I'm _sorry,"_ he says, with all the conviction in his body, "that I ruined your Thanksgiving."

Theo's face goes carefully neutral, and Liam _hates_ it.

"You didn't _ruin_ anything," Theo says, eyes averted. "It's fine. I overreacted." He pushes a little at Liam's hands on his hips, but Liam is _not_ having it.

" _No, hey_ ," Liam whispers, wrapping his entire arm around Theo's waist and hauling him closer so that they're pressed completely flush against each other, curling his other hand around Theo's jaw, gently tilting his face until his eyes meet Liam's own, "You didn't _overreact, I_ messed up, I _know_ that _,_ okay _?_ It's important to you, and I fucked it up, and I'm _sorry."_

Liam thinks Theo might've stopped breathing, and he doesn't understand why until he realizes the position they're standing in, realizes that he reflexively has started running his thumb over Theo's wet bottom lip where his mouth has fallen open, and Liam _freezes_. Theo's eyes are even wider than before, pupils dilated and a flush spilling across the bridge of his nose. His body is warm against Liam's.

" _What,"_ Theo breathes, and Liam tries his best not to shiver at the hot puffs of air that skate past the sensitive nerve endings on his thumb, " _what are you doing?"_

 _Apologizing,_ Liam almost replies on reflex, but it's not quite right. _Something stupid_ , is what comes to mind second, but that's a thought that's best kept private, tucked deep in the recesses of his split-open heart. He can feel Theo's heart pounding away, right up against his own.

" _Theo,"_ he breathes, feeling desperate, feeling helpless, and his hand abandons Theo's lip to cup his cheek, feel the heated skin under his fingers, and he can _taste_ Theo's breath, they're standing so damn close, noses nudging. He's close enough to count each individual eyelash framing Theo's blown eyes. Close enough that it would barely take any movement at all for their mouths to meet. Close enough that he can feel Theo's breath stutter. Close enough that Liam's head feels fuzzy and stupid and all he can do is hang on for dear life as he strokes his thumb along Theo's cheek and lets their foreheads meet, lets his eyes fall shut, managing an embarassingly hoarse, "Theo, _god,"_ before he finally leans in, just a little, and--

" _Theo, you in here?”_ his Mom calls out, poking her head into the garage, and they jump apart suddenly, feet of distance between them that feel like _miles,_ even though Liam can still feel the phantom heat of Theo’s body on his palms.

He’s glad for the interruption, even though something inside him _aches;_ everything he wants just a centimeter away from his mouth, so close he could _taste it,_ slipping out of his fingers _._

But it’s for the best. It would’ve been a _terrible idea._ His tongue in Theo’s mouth, one hand firmly gripping the hair in the back of head, _yanking_ until he hears his breath hitch, until Liam can dip his head back and deepen the kiss, lick further into his mouth, _harder_ , _bruising,_ swallow every pretty little sound he makes, press the line of his body flush up against Theo's, a thigh between Theo's legs, suck Theo's bottom lip into his mouth and _bite_ , sneak his hands down the back of the jeans, up the front of his sweater, and feel the warm, smooth skin underneath his fingertips, feel the hardening of a nipple under his own determined thumbnail, kiss him like Liam's drowning and Theo's the only thing that's keeping him afloat, explore his warm, soft mouth, and chase the taste of Theo coming apart underneath him and just _take_ and _take_ and _take_ until Liam's dizzy with it, until the hunger that he carries deep inside himself is satiated.

Theo shoots him an unreadable look, attractively rumpled, flushed, hair messy, sweater disheveled, and the whole image of it makes Liam's head spin a little, makes something dark and tangled rise up inside him, something that says _, it's not enough_ , something that wants to _mark him_ , suck a line of possessive bruises down his long throat, something that makes him want every debauched part of Theo to scream _, Liam was here._

Theo watches him for a little bit, and when it becomes apparent that Liam isn't planning to say anything, Theo yells back, " _Yeah, Ma. Sorry, I couldn't find them,"_ ducks his head, and walks back out of the garage, footsteps echoing quietly on the smooth concrete.

Liam shakes himself, clears his throat. Untucks his shirt to hide the uncomfortable, throbbing bulge in the front of his jeans.

Yeah. A terrible idea.

\---

They ride back to campus together, but its quieter than it normally is. Maybe because they haven't talked about it at all; what went down in the garage of the Dunbar-Geyer household. Maybe because it didn't mean anything at all; maybe Liam was just projecting, and Theo's trying to think of a way to let him down easy.

Or maybe Liam is just overthinking, and panicking a little bit, that the secret he's been hiding for, like, three years now might finally come to light.

Whatever the case, Theo doesn't say much, which is pretty uncharacteristic. Usually, they spend the ride back bitching about Liam's weirdest family members, like Grandma Rose who talks about _nothing_ but how they faked the moon landing, or Aunt Beth, who keeps trying to set Theo up with her accountant son, Liam's _mind-numbingly_ boring cousin, Carl. Instead, Theo fiddles with the radio and chews on his lower lip in a way that makes Liam stare, makes Liam have to _consciously_ focus on the road ahead, lest he kill them both in an accident.

Theo's hand is resting on his thigh, and Liam's is on the center console. There are inches between them, and Liam is _embarassingly_ aware of the proximity.

If Liam were a braver man, he'd close the distance, lace their fingers together, and bring their joined hands up to his mouth so that he could kiss each individual knuckle. He'd look Theo in the eye and ask: "So, about the garage." He'd tell Theo the truth and cut himself open, spill out his soul, leave the pieces of himself laid bare, right there in the car, for Theo to pick up and put back together, if he's so inclined.

But Liam can't risk it all, risk his _everything_ , risk the most important thing in his life, on the gamble that someone might want him back. It's not in his nature.

Liam just looks straight ahead and drives, like a coward.

\---

Theo's birthday is the Friday of Thanksgiving Break, two days after they get back. They have plans to go out with the guys on Saturday night and get Theo fantastically drunk (legally, this time) to celebrate twenty-one, but Liam can't let the actual day go by without doing _something_.

Theo spends the morning taking video calls from everyone back home (the one with Liam's Mom had lasted an _hour_ and Liam doesn't know _what_ they talked about; all he heard was high-pitched giggling through the walls), even though they'd already given him their presents before they left Beacon Hills.

Theo spends the rest of the day in the library studying for the finals he has coming up, which is _horrible_ , but it has the added benefit of giving Liam extra time to prepare.

He debates the merits of candles — the classy, decorative kind, not the birthday kind — for about thirty-minutes, before deciding that they would be _way_ too much -- too far hand-in-hand with rose petals, red wine, a steak dinner, a sweet, chaste kiss at the front door, before it devolves into something messy, sloppy, desperate, with teeth and tongues and heavy panting, stumbling inside and Liam undoing the zipper of Theo's fly with his _teeth_ , taking him apart in the slowest, sweetest way imaginable, lacing his fingers with Liam's own and pinning them above his head, their eyes locked together, dark, heated _, burning,_ as he thrusts slow, steady, _deep_ , feeling Theo clench sweetly around him, basking in the way Theo’s eyes roll all the way to the back of his head as he meets Liam’s hips, thrust for thrust. Watching Theo throw his head back, baring his throat and bowing his back helplessly, half-incoherent and blissed out, writhing on the sheets below him, desperate. Tasting Liam's name on Theo's lips when he can't help but beg after Liam has taken him to the edge and withdrawn, pulling him back just before he's about to tip over, over and over again until he starts to plead, starts to beg for mercy, starts to whine and _cry_. Rubbing into him _just right_ , the pleasure so intense, so _sweet,_ that neither of them can see straight, vision unfocused as they pant into each other's mouths, toes curling, hands clenching, hips rolling together smoothly, sinuously, in sync. Telling him how well he's taking it, how beautifully he’s opening up for Liam, how _good_ he is for Liam, how _perfect,_ calling him _baby, sweetheart, love,_ like Liam _wants_ to _._ Mouthing lazily at his collarbones, the puffy peaks of his nipples, the long line of his throat, _anywhere_ his mouth can reach, until they're both so close to the edge that they're almost _transcendent,_ they need it so bad they're going to come apart at the seams, shaking and shuddering as Theo clenches _beautifully_ around him, crying out, and licking into his hot mouth, swallowing the noise, savoring it on his tongue, as they tip over the edge together, falling off the cliffside with no one to catch them but each other, no one to keep them from shuddering apart to pieces, broken down, hollowed out, besides one another.

Making his way up Theo's body when they're done, winding his arms around Theo's neck, and kissing him stupid, deep and claiming. Dragging him into the shower, the both of them laughing, using his hands to cover every single inch of Theo's body with soap, stroking and kneading, caressing, running his fingers over the smooth, shifting muscles of his back, his ass, his chest. Cleaning, but really, _cleansing_ ; putting him back together after Liam's done painstakingly, thoroughly _, lovingly_ taking him apart. Kissing him behind his ear and washing his hair with careful, gentle fingers, letting him reciprocate, letting him lather the shampoo into Liam's bangs, and then standing under the spray together, hands wandering, lazily trading soft kisses.

Stumbling into bed, tangling his legs with Theo's as he pulls the comforter up, planting a quick, helpless kiss on Theo's chest as he rests his head on it, melting into the strong warmth of Theo's arms. Listening to the beat of his heart, his slow, even breaths. Relaxing against the sheets, against Theo's body, warm and sated and _happy._

That's not what Liam's going for. Not really.

No, instead Liam gets out the Christmas lights, the warm yellow ones that they usually don't get out until late December, but that they both leave up until the beginning of March, because of the small smile that flickers across Theo's face whenever he sees them. He winds them around the walls, counters, and coffee table, turns the main lights off to watch the soft glow that they cast on the living room.

Liam has budgeted exactly three-hundred dollars for food. He's been saving up for this. He proceeds to order Theo's favorites from the ten takeout places closest to their apartment, and then hops in the shower, scrubbing everything down thoroughly, before shaving the stubble off his face and putting on aftershave, drying his body, and standing in front of his closet, hands planted on his hips, totally and completely daunted by the prospect of finding something to wear.

Putting the sweatpants that he had on before just seems _lazy_ , but there's something intimidatingly transparent about putting on his nice jeans and one of his _date_ button-downs. Because this isn't a date. Not at all. This is Liam making Theo's birthday a good day, because Theo's his favorite person, and he deserves to have a good day.

Liam's contemplating his dilemma before the doorbell rings, and he has to wrap a towel around his hips. When he opens the door, its to the commotion of ten different delivery-people all yelling over each other, and it takes another thirty minutes just to get _that_ puzzled out without it ending in anybody's hair getting ripped out of their head. By the time everyone is well-tipped and safely out of the apartment building, Liam marches back to his closet, yanks out the blue button-down, the one that made Theo stare a bit when he first saw it, eyes lingering on Liam's shoulders before he said, "Wow, great choice. No one would know that you're colorblind," to which Liam then had to reply, slightly awkward, "Uh, I'm _not_ colorblind." He still remembers the severity of Theo's frown, his bewildered expression as he asked, "Are you _sure?"_ and proceeded to look up one of those tests on his phone, and Liam tried not to feel too offended by the entire thing, which wasn't that hard when _Theo_ looked offended enough for the both of them. And because he may or may not have still been a little high off the praise, whatever.

He buttons the shirt up, pulls on his nice jeans, and tries to tame his hair a bit with some product, before putting on cologne. _Stop it_ , he tells himself, _you're trying too hard._

He spritzes one more time, just to be safe.

He's in the living room, setting all the food up on the coffee table, opening the boxes of takeout and placing down napkins and utensils, when he hears the sound of a key being turned in a lock, and before he can straighten up, make sure his shirt doesn't have any wrinkles in it, do something suave like lean against a counter mysteriously, the door his swinging open, and Theo takes one instinctive step in, before his eyes widen.

He meets Liam's eyes, and then his gaze flicks to the fairy lights, the food, and, absurdly, _Liam's shirt_ , and he reverses direction, taking one step back out, face perfectly blank, but something complicated happening underneath, something that Liam can't decipher, especially seeing as how Theo now _refuses_ to meet his eyes.

"Sorry," Theo says, gaze trained firmly on the floor, as he takes another step backward, and Liam frowns, confused. "Sorry to interrupt, I--" he says, scrubbing the underside of his jaw, "I didn't know you were having company over, I can--" he sighs, moving to pull the door shut, "I can go."

" _No,"_ Liam rushes out, feeling a weird kind of frantic, as he almost _flies_ to the door, hands wrapping around Theo's forearms, which makes Theo's grip on the door handle slacken enough that Liam can kick it all the way open, guide Theo inside, and admit, trying not to blush too obviously, too _tellingly_ , "This is for _you."_

Theo eyebrows disappear all the way into his headline. " _. . . Me?"_ he asks, very slowly, very _disbelievingly_ , and Liam tries very, very hard not too take it personally, to take it as a measurement of his performance as a _friend._

"It's _your_ birthday," Liam says, squeezing Theo's arms in emphasis, and trying (failing) not to enjoy the feeling of the warm skin against his too much. "Do you know _anyone_ else willing to eat that sketchy dim sum?"

A slow smile spreads across Theo's face, and Liam's heart stutters in his chest, fingers twitching with the need to _touch_. The need to curl around Theo's jaw and drag him in closer so that Liam can _taste._

"But we're celebrating _tomorrow_. You know I forgave you for Thanksgiving, right?" Theo asks, sounding like he's only half-joking. "This isn't some, like, weird, guilt-ridden--"

"Well, your _birthday_ isn't _tomorrow_ , is it?" Liam snaps. "You're my _best friend_ , of _course_ I had something planned. I've had this planned for _months_ , _headass_."

" _Mason's_ your best friend," Theo replies, brow quirked, and Liam frowns.

" _Okay,"_ Liam concedes, annoyed, "but you're my," he flounders for a couple seconds, before snapping twice with his fingers, sharp, in realization, "my _person."_

 _"Your person,"_ Theo repeats, something unreadable in his tone that Liam doesn't _bother_ to try and pick apart, because he's experienced enough to know that it's completely fruitless.

"Yeah," Liam says, nodding, "you know," he explains, "the Christina Yang to my Meredith Grey."

Theo shoots him an unimpressed look. "You _need_ to stop watching that show, _Christ,"_ he says, shaking his head, but Liam sees the light flush high in his cheeks, wants to run his fingers across hit and feel the heated skin under his hand. "What is it on now, like, Season _Fifteen?_ "

"Aw," Liam pouts, and it makes Theo's eyes narrow further. "But if I stop watching Grey's, how am I supposed to understand all your fancy doctor words? How am I supposed to help you study for med school?" He grins. "Remember that time you didn't know what FOP was, and I _did?"_

" _Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva,"_ Theo recites, overpronouncing every syllable with a violent kind of force, and shaking his head, but his smile hasn't faltered and Liam feels light as a feather as he _basks_ in it, like sunlight. " _Yes,_ Liam, I remember it. Mostly because you bring it up at _least_ once a week, and it happened _two years ago_. And _also_ , it's an _extremely rare_ congenital birth def--"

"Don't be jealous, Theodore," he sniffs, haughty, "it's unbecoming," and Theo barks out a laugh, finally relaxing into Liam's hold, warm and pliant, and Liam pulls him a little closer, instinctively, as they both go quiet. Theo's arms are warm and strong under Liam's palms, and Liam just _wants_. "I got you a present," Liam whispers. The quiet feels too precious, too important to break.

"You didn't have to," Theo whispers back, before licking his lips nervously, and Liam's eyes flick down to watch, reflexively. It's too much, all of a sudden, Theo standing this close, eyes warm, smile soft, lips wet, it's way, _way_ too much, and Liam isn't _nearly_ strong enough to handle this, so he breaks the moment the best way he knows how, and smacks Theo upside the head, satisfied with the affronted squawk he receives in return.

"I'm gonna go get it," Liam says, ducking his head and hoping that's enough to hide the flush on his face. Theo nods quickly.

"Yeah," he replies, "sounds good. I'll, uh. Change."

Liam looks up, frowning. "Change?" he asks, tilting his head. "What's wrong with what you're wearing?"

Theo winces, rubbing his neck in a way that seems almost _self-conscious_ , and Liam doesn't like that, not at _all._ "I was _studying_ , so I just, y'know, threw this on," he gestures, sharp and quick, to his outfit, which, as far as Liam can see, is _fine,_ well-worn sweatpants and a sweatshirt that makes him look soft and mussed.

"I--" Liam frowns. "You don't need to _justify yourself_."

"I _do,"_ Theo insists, making another move towards his room, "because you look _amazing."_

And it's _ridiculous_ , because Liam _knows_ he looks good, he _very specifically_ made himself look good for Theo, showered, shaved, primped and polished, but his heart still flutters embarassingly in his chest.

Liam makes another grab for Theo, but he misses his arm entirely, grabbing onto his _fingers_ instead, and he tries not to pay _that_ more than the normal amount of attention, as he reels Theo back in.

"You don't have to change," he says, but Theo still doesn't look convinced. "I like it," Liam blurts, wincing inwardly at how fucking _obvious_ he is, wincing inwardly at how he hasn't let go of Theo's hand, wincing inwardly at a whole lot of things.

"Oh," Theo replies, looking caught off guard. "I . . . Okay." He plops down on the couch, finally, with a small smile, and Liam nods, satisfied, before speeding to his bedroom to get Theo's presents.

"Okay," Liam says, once he returns. "So, I lied. It's _two_ presents, actually."

" _Liam--"_ Theo starts, and Liam can already _hear_ what he's about to say, so he cuts him off before it starts.

"Shut _up_ ," Liam counters cheerfully, shoving a small, rectangular package into his hands, almost aggressively.

Theo looks down at it, before smiling up at Liam. "This is a very _angry_ gift-giving."

"Well, at least I'm consistent," Liam retorts, helplessly smiling back. "Open it."

Theo doesn't tear gifts open like Liam does, he hasn't as long as Liam has known him. He tears off the pieces of tape, one by one, meticulously, carefully unfolding the wrapping paper. It makes Liam's heart ache.

A loud, surprised laugh is ripped from Theo's throat as soon as he sees the title of the book, and Liam can't stop the shit-eating grin from spreading across his face.

" _Gray's Anatomy,_ " Theo reads, tone _dripping_ with skepticism, even as the smile stretches across his face. " _Really,_ Liam?"

He got Theo the medical textbook -- the one that inspired the show's title -- because he knew Theo would _appreciate_ it, but also because:

" _Hey,"_ Liam says, trying to hold in a laugh, "now we have something in common." Theo rolls his eyes, and Liam must be _crazy_ , because it's _endearing_ instead of _irritating._ "Okay," Liam says, getting a little nervous. "One more."

The second one is a lot bigger, and it's in a cardboard box that Liam didn't bother to wrap. Theo shoots him a curious look, before slitting through the tape with a knife.

" _Wait,"_ Liam says suddenly, right when Theo's about to open the flaps, and Theo's head _whips_ up. "I just," Liam rubs the back of his neck, feeling a little awkward, "I _know_ you stress. A lot. About, like, acing the MCAT, and getting into med school, and stuff, even though you _shouldn't_ ," Liam says, earnest, "honestly, hand to god, you _shouldn't_ , because you're one of the smartest, most hard-working, _dedicated-- "_

" _Liam,"_ Theo interrupts, voice hoarse, eyes a little wide, a little shaken, mouth slack with surprise, but Liam's not done.

"No, just," Liam tries, voice a little unsteady, "just let me finish. Please. I _know_ you're going to get into a great med school, and you're going to be a _phenomenal_ doctor, and this is just-- I _believe_ in you. And I just. Hope that this helps you believe in _yourself_ as much as I do." He waves his hand, a wordless _go ahead_ , and Theo moves to the flaps of the box slowly, achingly gentle as he opens it up, and pulls out the contents.

He stares at the shiny new stethoscope blankly for a second, blinking. "It's _pink_ ," Theo blurts, and Liam laughs wetly.

"It _is,"_ Liam nods, "it's also engraved."

And Theo reads the _Dr. Teddy, M.D._ engraving on the head, laughing brightly, even as he wrinkles his nose.

"Holy _shit,"_ Theo swears, as he finally catches the logo on the head, and he shoots up from the couch. "Is this a fucking _Littman?"_ Liam grins, and Theo blinks rapidly, head whipping to Liam. "Liam Dunbar, you did _not_ just spend _hundreds of dollars_ on a piece of gold-standard _medical equipment_ for a--"

 _"Future nationally-sought after surgeon?"_ Liam finishes, and now _Theo's_ eyes have gone watery.

" _Liam,"_ he says, voice hoarse, rakes a hand through his hair, looking overwhelmed, and Liam wants _to ruin_ him. Wants to give him everything. "I--" he tries, ducking his head, "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," Liam whispers, and he doesn't know which one of them moves first, but suddenly, Theo's arms are around him, _squeezing,_ head buried in the crook of Liam's neck, and Liam's arms are wound around Theo's shoulders, as he valiantly tries not to sniff Theo's hair too obviously.

" _Thank you,"_ Theo rasps, the words vibrating against the skin of Liam's neck, and Liam shudders, just a bit.

" _Don't,"_ Liam replies, _snaps_ , really. "Do _not_ thank me." He sighs, holding him tighter. " _Happy birthday_ ," he whispers, and he _swears_ he feels Theo nuzzle into his neck.

\---

Eventually, they get to the food and movie marathon Liam has queued up, and they eat about half of all the takeout Liam has on the table, before feeling so full they could _burst_.

They started on opposite ends of the couch, but by the end of the first one, they migrated closer together, Theo's thigh pressed flush to his. During the second, Theo rests his head tentatively on Liam's shoulder, and Liam tries his _hardest_ not to move, not to shift, not to do anything that would make him change his mind.

By the beginning of the third, Theo's nestled comfortably between Liam's legs, curled up on Liam's chest, one of Liam’s arms wrapped around his shoulders, the other absently carding through his hair, and Liam can see his eyelids drooping. It makes him smile, makes him warm, because Theo looks happy and contented and full, ready to slip into a food coma.

It's a far cry from where they've been; where they've started. Liam knows Theo used to go hungry most winters before he finally got old enough to work, old enough to get a job and pay for food himself; how much a warm meal means to him. Just like _Theo_ knows exactly how Liam got the long, white scar, right at the edge of his hairline, the bottle that his Dad threw at him shattering on the chair he hid behind, the resulting shrapnel, thankfully, just _barely_ nicking him. They've never said anything about it besides when Liam first told him, all the way back in high school, but that's the _exact_ spot that Theo brushes his lips against, in a wordless _goodbye_ , every morning before Liam heads to class, quick and affectionate, and it's so absentminded, so _reflexive_ , that it almost bowls Liam over every single time he does it, fills him with something tangled and complicated, something warm and all-encompassing.

It's made him _forget_ about what happened, because that's not the spot where a mean, drunk man almost sliced Liam's head open anymore. No, that's the spot where Theo’s mouth touches Liam as he says goodbye, when he gives him his lunch and brushes a warm hand against his arm, and tells Liam that they need milk, and that it's Liam's turn to do the laundry. That spot on his body is _Liam's_ and it's _Theo's_ and everyone else can _get fucked._

The takeout knocks them _both_ out, and Liam wakes up to a blank-screened TV, takeout strewn across the table and gift-wrap carefully folded and placed on the floor.

Theo has his face mashed into Liam's chest, fingers tangled with Liam's shirt, snuffling softly, and Liam?

Liam is so in love he could die.

\---

He's not _proud_ to say how quickly he extracts himself from Theo's sleeping form, rises from the couch and shoves his feet into his sneakers in a mad scramble for the front door, nothing running through his mind except for _precisely_ how _fucked he is._ He thought that trying to date other people would make these feelings abate, just a little, not make them _stronger_ , worse, more _pressing._

He knows they need cereal and he just needs to get _out_ , needs to go somewhere that isn't the bubble of domestic intimacy he's accidentally created with the guy he's hopelessly in love with, needs to go somewhere he can clear his head, and so he jogs to the grocery store. From there, it's quick work to find the cereal isle, and fairly therapeutic to browse through the options.

Liam meets Hayden when they reach for the last box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, fingers brushing, and she cracks a joke about him looking like he's doing the walk-of-shame, his nice button-down sleep-crumpled, hair still mussed. She's sarcastic and _beautiful_ , dark hair and big, pretty eyes that keep shooting him these _supremely_ unimpressed looks, even as she laughs, and sue him, he has a type _._

Liam walks out _without_ Cinnamon Toast Crunch (since Hayden won the brief tussle, not above playing dirty, and Theo would probably yell at him for putting that much sugar in his bloodstream first thing in the morning anyways), but _with_ Hayden's phone number, and a date for tonight.

The box of consolation Raisin Bran in his hands is almost worth it.

\---

When Liam returns, Theo's awake, whistling to himself as he folds an omelet over, and turning to face Liam when he hears the door creak open, a smile so bright that it almost knocks Liam over when he enters the apartment.

"Morning," Theo greets, ducking his head a little shyly, and Liam can't help the smile that spreads across his face.

"Hey," Liam responds. " _You're_ in a good mood today," he notes, placing the cereal in its appropriate cabinet, and Theo hides his face, turning back around to the stove, but Liam catches the flush on the back of his neck, and bites back a grin, confused but pleased. "Any particular reason?"

Theo shoots him a _very_ weird look, brows raised, but he's still smiling, so he can't be _that_ mad. "What time do you want to leave tonight?" he asks instead, _completely_ ignoring Liam's question because he's _rude_. "We aren't pregaming or anything, so I think we're just meeting the guys at Rage at eight."

"Oh," Liam says, grinning. "Sorry, man, you're gonna have to go with Mason and Corey. I told my date I'd pick her up at seven-thirty."

Theo's facing the stove, so Liam can't see his face, but for a couple seconds, there's just silence, only broken by the loud scraping of the spatula against the pan.

"Date," Theo echoes, sounding a little strange, but Liam ignores it for the most part, too focused on reading through the increasingly _horrifying_ list of ingredients in the Raisin Bran. Liam thought that shit was supposed to be _healthy._

Liam hums in agreement. "Her name's Hayden, and I think you'd _really_ like her." _She's a lot like you_ , Liam doesn't say, because there's being obvious, and then there's being _obvious._

"Oh," Theo replies, a little flat, but Liam's pretty sure he's just distracted, trying to place the name. "How'd you meet her?"

"Grocery store," Liam says, shaking the cereal box a little, demonstratively. "Like ten minutes ago." He winks. "Got her number, though." He holds his hand out for a high-five, and Theo obliges without even turning to face him, because Theo's a great friend like that.

"Right. Congratulations, man," Theo says, placing the omelet onto a plate and sliding it in front of Liam, before turning the stove off. "I'm gonna head to the library," he says, grabbing his phone, keys, and bag, from where they sit by the door. "Get some more studying in."

"I--" Liam frowns. "What about _your_ breakfast?"

Theo waves it off. "Not that hungry," he replies, slinging the bag over his shoulder. "I'll pick something up later."

Something's off, something's wrong, Liam can read it in the tense line of Theo's shoulders, but he can't work out _what_.

"Are you coming back for lunch?" Liam asks, a little frantic. "Or are you gonna be later than that?"

Theo stills with his hand on the doorknob, but he still doesn't turn around, still doesn't meet Liam's eyes.

"Neither," Theo says after a brief pause. "Leftovers are in the fridge. You know how to warm them up. I'm hitting the gym afterwards. Cutting it pretty close. I'll just get ready at Mason and Corey's." He huffs out a laugh. "Mason said something about new clothes for tonight, anyways. So. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun on your date."

He's half out the door when Liam screams a panicked, " _Wait!"_ because _oh_ , _that's_ why Theo was acting so weird, he thought Liam was going to ditch his birthday party just to go out with some girl he'd _just_ met. "I'm still coming! Tonight, to Rage," he assures, smiling. "I'm just bringing Hayden with me. So, you know, don't worry."

"Right," Theo says, turns back to Liam, gives him a smile that doesn't reach his eyes, says, "awesome, see you there," in an _equally_ weird tone of voice, before the door closes behind him, lock clicking shut, and Liam frowns, head tilted, trying to figure out exactly what just happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I was going to wait until I finished this story to post the rest of it, but the writing for this story has been SO slow going, and I know y'all have been waiting, so here you go
> 
> Enjoy :)

“A _date_ ,” Mason echoes numbly. Theo nods where he’s seated on the couch, face impassive, like Mason doesn’t know _exactly_ how he feels about it, hasn’t been his sounding board for the last _two years_ while he pined and pined and pined.

“That’s what he said,” Theo confirms.

“ _So_ ,” Mason says, “he’s bringing a random girl to your twenty-first.” He sighs. “So, Thanksgiving all over again.”

“It’s _fine_ ,” Theo insists. “At least he gave me some _notice_ this time, and it’s not like he _couldn’t_ bring a date. Maybe this one'll even _stick_ , and he'll be done with the one-night stands.” He rakes his hands through his hair, expression twisting a little, pained. “I just thought that after last night—“ it twists further, self-deprecating, and he ducks his head, clearly to avoid Mason’s eyes, staring down at his hands despondently, and Mason wants to reach out, wrap him in a hug, do _something_. “I don’t know what I thought.” He pauses. “I don’t know what I was _thinking_. I don’t know _why_ I _ever_ thought that—“

“ _Stop_ ,” Mason frowns, as Theo’s tone gets more and more vicious, clearly directed inward. " _You stop that right this second._ " He finally plops down on the couch himself, wrapping his arms around Theo's shoulders and tugging him in, but Theo is still stiff as hell, fingers twisting together in a way that looks _painful_ and Mason wants to tell him, _it's not your fault my best friend is an idiot_ , but he doesn't think it would be appreciated right now, and also, he doesn’t know _what’s_ running through Liam’s head these days (he’d asked, once, about the one-night stands, and Thanksgiving, and had gotten back nothing but, “Just trying something new, Mase, don’t worry about it. Just putting myself out there.”) so he just squeezes him tighter, says, resolute, "You know what? Here's the plan." Theo perks up, just a little, and Mason smiles. "Corey's gonna be back from Zumba in twenty minutes. We are going to turn you into the _hottest_ piece of ass at that club. Not that it'll be _hard_ , but--" Theo swats at him, and Mason laughs. "You’re gonna forget about Liam for a little bit, and spend your night getting _incredibly_ drunk on fruity cocktails, dancing with me and Corey, and making out with the most attractive guy you spot in the first thirty seconds." Mason grins. "Whoever that may be. In _that_ specific order. Got it?"

Theo huffs out a small laugh and smiles back, even as he shakes his head. "You’re really bossy, Hewitt," he says. “I’m kinda into it.” Mason swats him across the head, and Theo laughs harder. "But," he says, rubbing the back of his neck, "you guys are coming out to celebrate _my_ birthday, I'm not just gonna abandon you for some _guy_."

"Yes, you will," Mason says firmly, nodding. "That's _exactly_ what you're going to do. Homework for the night, Raeken."

That's when Corey returns, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, wearing the yoga pants that Mason likes, and Mason has to make the effort to refocus on the conversation, when Corey wrinkles his nose up, says, "That sucks. You have homework tonight?"

"We're getting Theo _laid_ ," Mason replies, and Corey frowns, just a little, as he tosses his keys into the bowl next to the door.

"You asked him about the threesome thing?"

"No," Mason replies quickly, trying not to blush, as Theo incredulously mouths, _the threesome thing_ , eyebrows inching towards his hairline. "With someone from the club. We're getting him a _man_ tonight. It's our job."

A sly smile spreads across Corey's lips, and Theo sinks further into the couch with a groan.

\------

" _You didn't tell me it was your friend's birthday party_ ," Hayden hisses through a pasted-on smile, taking a long, long pull of the cocktail in front of her. "You said, and I quote, ' _me and my friends are just going to a bar_ ,'" adopting an _offensively_ high-pitched voice that Liam thinks is supposed to be an imitation of him, "' _it's a casual thing, don’t worry_ '."

" _Uh_ ," Liam says distractedly, trying to tear his eyes from the display in the corner, of Theo shoved back against the wall, legs locked around the waist of some dark-haired guy, his broad palms wrapped firm around Theo's thick thighs as he licks sloppily into Theo's mouth, Theo's fingers spasming where they're gripped at his shoulders.

Mason and Corey keep shooting Theo gleeful little looks while they grind on the dance floor, and Liam _knows_ that they had something to do with Theo walking in looking like sex on legs (not that he wasn't _always_ kind of pain-inducingly attractive, but _really_ , his jeans look _painted on_ , and his button-down is _way_ too tight, sleeves rolled up to his forearms, the top couple of buttons undone, hair messy in a way that looks rakish instead of unkempt like it probably would on anyone else) but _something_ about the way they're looking at the pair of them, all but fucking against the wall of the club, makes Liam suspect that they had a hand in this too.

The things _is_ , is that Theo has dated a grand total of two people in all the years that Liam has known him, and they were both back in high school. Liam doesn't think he's had a one-night-stand in his _life,_ and Liam _knows_ he would never have the idea on his own to make out with a stranger -- drunk out of his mind -- on his own.

It's _not_ jealousy that rises up inside of Liam, when he sees the guy wind his fingers in the back of Theo's hair, clutch tighter and tip his head back, licking deeper. It's _not_ , because it _can't be_ , because Liam is _on a fucking date right now_. It's annoyance, plain and simple, because that guy doesn't know Theo, but he still gets to taste him, still gets to feel his skin under his fingertips and lick the sweat off the hollow of his throat.

The thing is, is that Theo only _looks_ like a fuckboy. Like a player. Looks like he breaks hearts left and right and has too much sex and not enough commitment, but in reality, he's a sweetheart. He put hats on all their cacti and let Liam name them. He kept bringing flowers for Liam's Mom the first couple times she met him, until she made him stop. He kisses Liam on the forehead every morning and cooks for the both of them and hasn't been with anyone in _years_.

If it were Liam, he wouldn't suck Theo's earlobe into his mouth against the disgusting wall of some sleazy club. He would take him out on the town, probably to some nice Italian place where he can feed Theo bites of pasta off his fork, watch his mouth close around each piece, swipe the sauce off his lower lip with a quick brush of his thumb. He would order a nice, full-bodied red, one that he's researched beforehand, because he _knows_ Theo is picky about weird things like that, and they would drink just enough to make them warm and flushed, but not enough to get dizzy. They would leave, and Liam would tangle their fingers together, drag him closer until their shoulders are flush against each other as they walk aimlessly in the warm night, and they would talk, hands swinging, and Theo wouldn't laugh at any of his dumb jokes because he's heard them all before, he's heard everything Liam has ever had to say, knows Liam inside out, upside down, has carved out a piece of Liam and replaced it with himself, and so they would walk in the quiet night, shoulders knocking together, laughing quietly, thumbs brushing over knuckles, until they reach the apartment.

He would kiss him at the front door, hands cupping his face, chaste and sweet unless Theo pushed for more, opened his mouth and let Liam in, opened his bedroom door and invited Liam in, and maybe they would tumble together on the sheets, bodies tangled with each other, hips rolling deep and slow and sweet, heavy panting and open-mouthed kisses and fingertip-shaped bruises on hips, or maybe they would duck their heads afterwards, breaking away, blushing _furiously_ , and take it slow, bide each other goodnight and go to sleep in different rooms with matching, dopey smiles.

But, _whatever_. It’s _not_ Liam. Which is _good_ , because Liam doesn’t want to love Theo anyways, that's what he's trying to get rid of, because Theo would never want him back, and Liam would ruin everything they've worked so hard to build; all those years of friendship.

It’s fine, it's not going to last anyways. This is just some guy from the club, who Theo's going to forget about the second he gets home. It's _fine_.

\---

It's not fine.

Somehow, in between trying to answer Hayden's half-hearted inquiries into his life, and bemusedly watching Nolan do body shots off of Brett the Asshole as Alec looks on with morbid curiosity, he's lost sight of Theo, and for a second, as he scans the dance floor and comes up with nothing, all he can feel is a rushing kind of panic.

" _Yeah, sorry, one second_ ," he interrupts, cutting Hayden off in the middle of a story involving her sister — or maybe, like, her car, he _really_ wasn’t paying much attention — unable to hear much over the thumping of the bass, unable to hear _anything_ over the roaring of blood in his ears, " _I'll be right back_."

It's not hard to spot Mason and Corey, soaked in sweat and still swaying together on the dance floor. They look up when Liam scrambles over to them, and Liam's pretty sure it's the first time they've looked up since they got here, but he doesn't have time to dwell on that because Mason's shooting him a quizzical look, probably at the panic making it's way across his face.

"I lost track of Theo," he blurts, feeling like his heart is going to beat _straight_ out of his chest.

Corey clucks his tongue, shakes his head, a smug smile sliding across his face. "He disappeared with that guy," he says, quirks a brow, "you know, _the hot one_."

Liam _fumes._ "You guys just let him go off with some _stranger_ ," he spits, _seething_ , "when he was _drunk_?"

Mason shoots him an unimpressed look, even has his hips roll in time with the rhythm of the music, fingers skating across Corey's collarbone as he raises his eyebrows, shouts back, "He's not _that_ drunk, he only had, like, _two_ vodka cranberries, and we ate bagels before we got here," his tone goes a little pained. " _So. Many. Bagels_. But," he says, smiling a bit, sharp, "he's in possession of all his mental faculties."

" _But_ \--" Liam interrupts, frowning.

"Theo can take care of himself, Liam," Corey says, huffing. "He's a _fully grown man_ , and you've _seen_ the size of his arms." He turns around, facing Mason and slotting a leg between his thighs. The result is that his back is to Liam when he says, "Just go back to your _date_ ," something strange in the cadence of his voice.

\---

After around twenty minutes, Mason and Corey decide to take a break, Nolan's looking more than a little tipsy as he staggers back to his seat at the table, a familiar phone number scrawled across his collarbone in permanent marker, and Alec is in the center seat, mixing an increasingly bizarre concoction of drinks together while Hayden watches with morbid fascination, alternating between that and idly scrolling through her Instagram feed, while Liam continues to dart glances around.

Theo comes back shortly after, and something in Liam's stomach _burns_ at how disheveled he looks -- hair messy, mouth swollen red, the buttons of his shirt done up wrong -- but he actually looks _less_ debauched than Liam would have expected, considering what he was probably doing back there.

Liam spends so long cataloguing the wrinkles in his shirt -- and how does a shirt that tight even _get_ wrinkled, anyways? -- that he misses the look on his face, flushed with a cute little half-smile, and a slip of paper in his hands.

Mason's the first to say something, as he looks up with a proud smile, and shouts, over the thrum of the music, "Hey, Raeken, you get lucky tonight, or what?"

Theo shakes his head, smiling wider. "No," he replies, "no, he said he wanted to take things a little, uh, slow," he rubs the back of his neck, sheepish, before actually meeting their eyes. "Gave me his number. We're going on a date tomorrow."

Mason wolf whistles, Corey slow-claps, and Theo does a mock-curtsy. Liam feels like his head is underwater.

Hayden nudges a sharp elbow into Liam's ribcage that he has to suppress a pained yelp at. " _Is that the friend whose birthday it is_?" she asks quietly, and Liam nods absentmindedly.

"Hey," Liam says distantly, "have you met Hayden?"

Theo holds up one finger, a wordless, _give me a second_ , before swiping Alec's experimental drink out from underneath him, and tips his head back, downing the entire glass in three, large gulps. Liam watches his throat work, mouth dry.

He licks his lips when he's done, placing the glass back onto the table, and his mouth is so red and wet that it's a struggle for Liam to drag his eyes away.

"I _don’t_ believe I've had the pleasure," Theo says, a charming smile working it's way onto his face even as he slurs the words a little. Theo turns to Hayden, and just stares at her for a solid half-minute, before his eyes immediately narrow.

" _Hayden_ ," he says slowly, like he's testing the sound of it on his tongue. "You live in Beacon Hills, by any chance? Around ten years ago?"

Hayden frowns, the fake smile she's been forcing onto her face all night slipping off for something far more suspicious. " _Maybe_ ," she bristles, "what's it to _you_?"

Bizarrely, Theo's face _lights up_ , a bright beam that could only be half-caused by the alcohol.

" _Romero_?" he asks, and Hayden's face changes too.

" _No fucking way_ ," she breathes, brows raised as high as they could possibly go. " _Raeken_?"

" _So_ , uh," Alec looks between them curiously, "you guys know each other?"

"Holy _shit_ ," Hayden swears, giving Theo a very obvious once-over. "You got _hot_."

Liam _thunks_ his head down onto the filthy table, biting his lip to suppress a frustrated groan.

\---

Apparently, as Liam comes to learn, spending a lot of time in the hospital for your heart problems sometimes had the unintended effect of making friends with the _other_ kids who also spent a lot of time in the hospital, like one Hayden Romero who had spent a big part of her life hooked up to a monitor at Beacon Hills Memorial because of her kidneys.

Hayden's sister made them move, abruptly, and she never got to say goodbye, and the rest, _as they say_ , is _history_.

"Y'all wanna dance?" Theo asks, to the whole table, after downing another shot, and is promptly greeted with great enthusiasm as everyone else gets up and makes their way to the dance floor, with the exception of Liam and Hayden.

Liam is _way_ too sober to be dancing up there to the awful music playing the club, pressed up against the sweaty body of some stranger, but Theo's mouth twists downward, just the _slightest_ twitch, but it's _enough_ , and Liam sighs.

" _Fine_ ," he relents, and it's worth it for the way that Theo grins at him.

Theo turns his attention to Hayden, who proceeds to shoot a dubious, unimpressed look at Liam. "Not a _fucking_ chance," she says, and Theo chuckles lightly.

"But you got dressed up so _pretty_ ," Theo says, dropping his voice _low_ , and Theo's not even _interested_ in women, _Liam_ knows this, _Hayden_ knows this, but Liam _swears_ he sees Hayden blush. "It'd be a shame to waste it. Not even one dance?" He holds out his hand, and Hayden's eyes flick to it, clearly considering. Theo winks. "I'll make it worth your while." Hayden snorts, incredulous and Liam watches the way the two of them react to each other, watch each other. Familiar and worn, like old friends. Liam's never met _anyone_ from Theo's past; never met anyone Theo knew before Liam.

Theo shakes his head, amused, when it takes too long for Hayden to answer. "Don't make me drag you down there, Romero," he threatens playfully. "You _know_ I will."

Hayden laughs, and takes his hand.

\---

Theo spins Hayden around the dance floor of a club somehow, even though there's barely even enough space to breathe, while Liam angrily third-wheels Mason and Corey.

They're a whirlwind of grace and laughter and pretty eyes and dark hair and tight clothes.

Liam sees Theo's laughter lines from here, and that's more than enough to make his stomach feel warm, even if Hayden takes every opportunity to shoot scathing glares his way.

 _One date_. Liam just wanted _one date_ who doesn't like Theo better than they liked him. Was that too much to ask for?

Maybe it _is_ , since _he_ sure likes _Theo_ better than _Hayden_. Whatever. _Semantics_.

\---

Eventually, they all kind of coalesce into a sweaty congregation in the center of the dance floor, drunkenly giggling and trying to sway to the beat of the music. Mason and Hayden are trying to teach Nolan how to twerk, and Liam and Theo are laughing so hard that they have to grip hard onto each other's shoulders to not double over so far that they tumble onto the disgusting floor.

"No, no," Theo says, through high-pitched giggles, sloppily brushing Liam's arms off his shoulder before makes his way to the center of their little circle. "No, guys, I got this. Just _watch_."

And then he proceeds to do something with his ass that makes Liam's mouth go dry.

\---

Somehow, they all end up in Liam and Theo's apartment, with the exception of Hayden who awkwardly begs off, exiting their Uber with a quick peck to Theo's cheek and a considering look at Liam.

When Liam wakes up, he feels like _death_. He stays like that for a couple seconds, just staring at the ceiling and contemplating his life decisions and basking in his own grossness, but Theo _definitely_ drank way more than him, so he makes his way to his bedroom to check up on him, stepping over Alec's body where it's sprawled across the floor by the front door, and eyeing Nolan's uncomfortable looking makeshift-bed on the kitchen island.

Theo's wrapped up in some kind of impressively large blanket burrito, swaddled like a baby, and Liam has to bite back a laugh. He cautiously approaches the blankets, slowly pulling the top of the duvet down to expose the top half of Theo's face to the fresh air, just to make sure Theo didn't suffocate in his sleep, and he finds Theo blearily staring back at him, pretty eyes squinting as they look up at Liam.

" _Hey, there_ ," Liam says quietly, brushing the hair out of Theo's eyes. "Feeling okay?"

Theo lets out a groan like he's _dying_ , clamping his eyes shut harder, and Liam's lucky he's in too much hangover pain to even _register_ it as a sexy noise.

Liam chuckles lightly, and Theo tilts his head into the touch, clearly seeking it out, and Liam is more than happy to oblige, dragging the blunts of his fingernails lightly across his scalp, and trying not to react too much when Theo moans.

"You hungry?" Liam asks. "Toast? Milk? I can put together a mean bowl of cereal. Or, you know. Stick an Eggo in the toaster."

"Your mouth," Theo groans, "is making noises. _Make them stop_." Liam can't hold back the snicker when Theo attempts to submerge himself once again into his blanket nest.

"I'll make you breakfast," Liam whispers, dropping a firm kiss onto his forehead, right below his hairline, before getting off the bed and shutting the door quietly behind him.

He makes two waffles and a cup of hot chocolate for Theo, and then sticks some bread in the toaster for the rest of the guys, all while Nolan snores loudly on the kitchen island.

When he wakes Theo up again, Theo only lets his face poke out, blankets wrapped around his head and body, and Liam can't hold in the laugh anymore, even as he handfeeds him bites of Blueberry Eggo, while Theo sloppily wraps his arms around Liam's waist, nuzzling into his bare stomach, and Liam cards his free hand through Theo's hair.

" _Hey, sweetheart_ ," Liam whispers, pushing Theo's hair back, out of his eyes. "You want your cocoa?"

" _Mmm_ ," Theo replies, eyes shut, tightening his arms around Liam's waist, and Liam takes it as a _yes_ , bringing the hot chocolate up to Theo's lips, trying not to startle when Theo's hands close around his own, controlling the tilt of the mug. Theo blinks his eyes open, keeps them locked on Liam's, and takes a long, _slow_ pull from the hot chocolate. And then another, and then another. Liam swallows reflexively.

" _S'good_ ," Theo says, looking up at Liam, his long eyelashes casting shadows onto his cheeks. "Want a sip?"

Theo licks his lips -- and Liam's eyes flick down to track it as he mirrors the movement, helplessly -- but there's still a smudge of chocolate in the corner of his mouth. Liam shakes his head dumbly, throat working, trying to muster up a coherent reply that isn't just, _hngh_.

"You've got a little--" Liam starts, motioning to his own face, before he just gives in, bringing his thumb to the corner of Theo's mouth and brushing the chocolate off, but before he can bring it up to his own mouth and suck it off, Theo's tongue darts out of his mouth, running up and down the length of the pad of Liam's thumb, slow but _thorough_ , looking up at Liam through his lashes, and Liam swallows, mouth dry, as he twitches _hard_ in the confines of his sweatpants.

" _Thanks_ ," Theo whispers, eyes dark, and Liam doesn't even _know_ what he's thanking him for, but:

" _You don’t have to thank me_ ," Liam croaks, before cupping Theo's face in his hands and planting a firm kiss right in the middle of his forehead. "Go take a shower. It'll make you feel better."

Theo groans, but acquiesces, rolling out of bed and stripping his shirt off as he makes his way to the bathroom, and if Liam takes his _own_ hangover shower, taking himself in his hand and running his spit-slicked thumb, still wet with Theo’s saliva, over the leaking slit of his cock and thinking about Theo’s lips wrapped around his fingers, before coming so hard that he almost blacks out, crumpling against the shower wall and almost braining himself violently on the porcelain, then that's no one's business but his own.

\---

That night is Theo's date, and he's so nervous that he changes six times.

" _Theo_ ," Liam groans, flopping down onto the bed and massaging his temples. "I swear to _god_ , you look great in literally _everything_. _Stop freaking out_."

"Well, _excuse_ me," Theo snaps, hands planted on his hips. "Not all of us have the _experience_ you've _acquired_ , Dunbar."

Liam lets it go, because he really _has_ fucked his way through his entire Eastern Philosophy class so he doesn't have a leg to stand on, and because Theo gets cranky when he's anxious. Instead of snapping back, like Theo clearly wants him to, he sits back up, tugging Theo in by his belt loops until he's standing in the V of Liam's legs.

He smooths the shirt down, before leaving his hands to rest comfortably on Theo's hips, eyes flicking back up to meet Theo's. _"What's going on?"_ he asks quietly, one of his fingers instinctively slipping underneath the fabric of Theo's shirt to rub soothing circles on the warm, bare skin of Theo's hip. "Why are you so wound up?"

Theo visibly deflates, muscles going lax where they were getting more and more tense, and he slumps, just a bit, into Liam's hands, but Liam holds him up. Theo rubs the back of his neck, self-conscious in a way that makes Liam uncomfortable, makes his heart twist. "It's just been a while," Theo finally replies, "since I've . . . you know. Been out with someone. What if he doesn't--?"

"He _will_ ," Liam replies firmly, hands gripping tighter. "And if he _doesn't_ then he's an _idiot_ and it's _his fucking loss_ , because you're the _best_ person I know, and anyone who gets to have you would be the _luckiest_ person _alive_."

There's the sound of a throat clearing, from the phone propped up next to Liam, that apparently, they _both_ forgot, as their heads whip to it, all of a sudden. Mason's exasperated face stares back.

"Yeah, uh," he says, frowning into the camera, "the green one, Theo. Wear the green one. And the jeans I got you."

Theo frowns. "But those are--"

" _Yeah_ , they are," Mason says, holding up a hand for a high-five, which someone out of frame slaps dutifully. Probably Corey, but Liam has learned to never assume when it comes to those two. Mason grins. "At least, if he doesn't like you, you'll know it's _definitely_ because of your personality," he says, winking, and Theo snorts, shaking his head.

Theo wears the green Henley with the jeans Mason bought him, and Liam gets a fun new bruise as he walks into a doorframe when he sees him bent over, tying his shoes.

\---

When his date sends Theo his, _Be there in 5_ , text, and Theo reaches a _new_ level of nervous, Liam grabs him by the shoulders, looks him in the eye, and asks, very seriously, "Do you want me to come with you, to make sure he's not a creep?"

Theo blinks. " _What_?"

"I'll put on a hoodie," Liam assures, "fake mustache, sunglasses, hide behind a menu, the whole deal. And then if he's, like, the _worst_ , I can create a distraction, while you make a run for it."

Theo's expression shifts from confusion to straight-up bewilderment. "I--" he tries, frowning, "Where would you even _get_ a fake mustache?"

"I have a _lot_ of chest hair," Liam says solemnly, "and a pair of scissors," he says, before tilting his head, considering, trying to reach back into the recesses of his mind to remember if they actually _own_ scissors, " _probably_ ," he amends, "but even if we _don't_ , I know you keep the kitchen knives sharp, so. Plus, we still have all that glue left over from when we tried to make slime."

"When _you_ tried to make slime," Theo corrects absently. "Because _you_ thought an ASMR YouTube channel was a _good_ \--"

" _And_ ," Liam continues, undeterred. "If all else fails, we have a Sharpie lying around somewhere. I can just, you know. Color stuff in."

Theo frowns harder. "He doesn't know what you look like. You've never _met_. Why would you _need_ fake facial hair?" He narrows his eyes. "Do they even _let_ you into restaurants with Sharpie facial hair? _I_ would call the _cops_."

Liam sighs, dropping his head down to Theo's shoulder. "I really feel like you're missing the point here."

\---

His date takes him to get Thai food, which is a good choice, because Theo fucking _loves_ Thai food. Liam does _not_ come with, mostly because Theo hoists him into a fireman carry and drops him down onto the kitchen counter like a sack of potatoes, with a firm, "I can take care of _myself_ , Liam," and Liam doesn't know if he's _consciously_ flexing his arms right now, or if they _always_ look like that and Liam just doesn't pay enough attention, but _goddamn_.

Theo shoots one last, suspicious look at him, before hiding the kitchen knives, and that's when the doorbell rings.

Theo's date looks just as good under the fluorescents of their apartment hallway as he did under the lights of the club, all strong handsome features and dark, curling hair, and Liam's so busy crossing his arms, and saying, in his gruffest voice, "Have him back by eleven," and Theo's amused snort, his apologetic, " _Please_ ignore him, he was dropped on his head as a child, and then several more times as an adult," and his own, responding indignant squawk, that he forgets to even ask Theo's date his name.

It's Josh, for the record, which is something Liam discovers that night, along with just how thin their walls really are, when he hears Theo scream it on the other side of their apartment, along with a distinctive, rhythmic thudding of a headboard hitting the wall.

" _Right there_ ," Theo moans, before another thud, and then, "Oh god, _yes_ , Josh--"

The rest of it is muffled, like there's something in Theo's mouth, and he doesn't hear the _exact_ words of Josh's reply, just something along the lines of _yeah, baby boy, Christ, just like that_ , and the whole thing makes Liam so, horribly jealous, that he feels his stomach turn.

And also, vows to reduce the number of times he brings someone back to the apartment, because _god_ , _Theo must've been able to hear the entire thing_.

The guilt and envy build and build until Liam can't even go to sleep; just puts some earbuds in, cranks the volume up to full, and stares at the stains and grooves in the ceiling until the sun starts rising outside.

\---

Freshly-fucked is a good look on Theo, which is _another_ thing Liam discovers, as soon as he exits his bedroom and makes a beeline for the kitchen.

He didn't think they would wake up early, considering the late night, that they had, but clearly he underestimated the universe's constant, perverse need to make Liam's life as difficult as possible, and so there they are, at nine-thirty A.M., exchanging soft murmurs in the quiet kitchen while Josh feeds Theo a piece of strawberry, Josh sitting on one of the stools by the kitchen counter while Theo's on the other side, standing over a plate of fruit. There's a hickey high on Theo's neck, right by his jawline, and Josh is wearing a sweatshirt that Liam _knows_ is Theo's, presumably because his own shirt is unwearable, for reasons that Liam doesn't really want to think about, and the entire image makes something _dark_ roil in Liam's blood, makes him clear his throat loudly and obnoxiously, even though he feels like an intruder in his own apartment.

Liam doesn't know why he thought they would spring apart or startle at the sudden noise, but nevertheless, he finds himself surprised when Theo just looks to him with a soft smile, keeps his hand wrapped around Josh's wrist, greets, " _Morning_ ," and his voice is even hoarser than usual, for _more_ reasons that Liam doesn't really want to think about, and Liam musters up a tight smile.

"Hi," he manages, before turning to Josh, and trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. "Jeremy, right?"

Josh barely spares a glance at Liam as he corrects him, almost absentmindedly, as he feeds Theo another strawberry, eyes fixed on Theo's mouth. Liam rolls his eyes, before stealing a glance of his own. Theo's mouth is wet and red, which is. Good. Healthy, even. Those are things that mouths should be. Theo licks the juice off his lower lip with a quick swipe of his tongue, and Liam averts his gaze.

" _Pretty sure Theo can eat his own fruit_ ," Liam finally snaps. " _Two hands_ , and all that."

They both turn to him, surprised, and Theo's eyebrows are raised in very specific, _are you kidding me right now_ , way that makes Liam feel immediately chastised.

"Sorry," he grumbles.

Josh snorts. " _Jesus_ ," he says, shaking his head with a smile. "Who pissed in _your_ cereal this morning?"

Liam bristles, trying to muster up the appropriate scathing response, when Theo laughs, drops a quick peck on Josh's mouth, and replies, amused, "He's _jealous_ ," and Liam's heart drops into his stomach, dread _flooding_ his body, as all his thoughts screech to a standstill. "This is the first time in _years_ that _I'm_ dating someone, and _he_ isn't," Theo finishes, rolling his eyes, and Liam drags in a breath of fresh air, relief unwinding the knot in his stomach.

"Weren't you with some girl that night?" Josh asks, reaching across the kitchen counter to grab Theo's hand, and Liam's so occupied tracking the motion with his eyes, that he almost misses the question completely.

"Yeah," Theo replies, the corner of his mouth quirking up as Josh's fingers tangle with his, "what happened to Hayden, anyways?"

Liam _thunks_ his head down onto the counter, because that's a whole _different_ problem. "She won't take my calls," he grumbles, before peeking out over his folded arms. "Any ideas on how I could make it up to her?"

Josh snorts, squeezing Theo's hand, before turning to look at Liam. "Do we _look_ like we have any idea what women want?"

Theo huffs out a small laugh, while Liam tries his very best not to roll his eyes. "I really don't know her that well anymore," he admits. "The last time we talked was over ten years ago."

"Wait," Josh says, brows raised. "I thought y'all were, like, dating or something. You brought a _random girl_ to your friend's birthday party? That's kind of a dick move, bro."

" _Josh_ ," Theo snaps, brows furrowed, tone chastising, but Liam's mind is whirring.

" _Oh my god_ ," Liam breathes, eyes flicking up to Theo's. "I did it _again_ , didn't I?"

"You mean you've done this _before_?" Josh asks, but Liam barely hears him, grabbing Theo's other hand, and trying to catch Theo's eyes, but Theo's gaze is fixed firmly, deliberately, _tellingly_ on the kitchen counter.

"I'm an _asshole_ ," Liam says, desperate, brushing his thumb over Theo's knuckles, reflexive, but this time it makes Theo frown a bit, as he withdraws his hand instead of curling it into Liam's, and Liam has to make an effort to not leap over the kitchen counter and grab it back, press it to his lips. "I _said_ what happened at Thanksgiving wouldn't happen again, and then I just went and--" he shakes his head, sighing, feeling the familiar wave of self-loathing rise up in his gut. "I'm a _dick_ , and I'm so, _so_ sorry. I--"

" _Liam_ ," Theo replies quietly, finally meeting his eyes, and they're so, so soft, so much softer than they should be, Theo should fucking _yell_ at him, but he would _never_ , and that just makes Liam feel _worse_.

 _He's going to forgive me_ , Liam realizes. He sees it in his eyes, a split second before Theo even opens his mouth. _He's going to forgive me, and we're going to keep going on like this, like I don't make his life miserable._

"It's _fine_ ," Theo says, sounding _sincere_ , and Liam feels _nauseous_. Theo runs a reassuring thumb across the line of Liam's jaw, moves higher to brush against Liam's hairline once, twice, gently, and Liam's going to throw up. "Liam, it's _okay_ , seriously."

 _You break everything you touch_ , Liam hears, in a voice from a long time ago, the voice of a person who left because Liam was _too much_. _This is why you can't have nice things_.

"It's _not_ ," Liam insists, shaking his head violently, a dry, pained laugh escaping his throat. "It's _not_ okay," he says, voice cracking, and Theo is on the other side of the counter in an _instant_ , standing in the V of Liam's legs, hands cupping Liam's face as his eyes flick between Liam's eyes, searching, thumbs brushing Liam's cheeks so _gently_ that Liam's going to be sick, right here in the middle of their kitchen.

" _Hey_ ," Theo says softly, a concerned line making itself visible in the furrow of his brows as he searches Liam's face. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, tucking a piece of hair behind Liam's ear. " _Tell me_ ," he whispers, imploring. "Let me _help_."

"It's _not_ fine," Liam says, shaking his head and blinking against the sharp sting in his eyes as his hands move to settle at Theo's hips, habitual. "It's _not_ , and I wish you wouldn't _say_ it was."

" _O-kay_ ," Theo replies, drawing out each syllable slowly, before frowning and tilting his head. "I'm not really sure what you mean by that."

"I don't want you to think," Liam says, desperate, thumb sneaking under the hem of Theo's shirt to feel bare skin under his fingertip, rubbing slow circles into his hip, "that you aren't a priority. For me."

" _Liam_ ," Theo whispers, taken aback, but Liam doesn't back off, he _presses on_.

"You're _important_ to me," Liam continues, with all the conviction he _has_ , as he tightens his hold on Theo's hips. "You're the _most_ important. Our relationship is the most important thing in my _life_ , I _need_ you to know that," he whispers. " _Please_ ," he begs, dragging Theo closer, "I _hope_ you know that."

There's a small smile playing around Theo's mouth as he looks down, bashful, before meeting Liam's eyes again. "The most important, huh?"

"You're the best thing about my life," Liam blurts, honest, _too honest_ , and Theo looks back at him, wide eyed.

" _Liam_ ," he breathes, shocked.

His hands are still gentle on Liam's face and his voice is quiet and his eyes are still heartbreakingly concerned, and Liam thinks about bringing other people to his important days, which couldn't have felt like anything but a kick in the teeth, and a clear message: _You're not enough_.

Thinks about apologizing by trying to kiss Theo in his parents' messy garage, and then turning around and doing the same thing all over again: _You'll never be enough_.

Liam's heart breaks, right there in his chest, and for the first time in a while, he really, _truly_ hates himself.

 _You break everything you touch,_ he thinks, in his _own_ voice this time, because it's _true_ , _and this is why you can't have nice things_.

Theo is the _nicest_ thing, and Liam's hands are too clumsy, too _angry_ , not gentle enough to hold him.

"I'm _sorry_ ," he repeats, tries to fight the tears welling up, because he doesn't want to make this about _him_ , the way he seems to make _everything_ about him, but Theo responds _immediately_ , frown deepening.

" _Hey_ ," he says soft but firm, hands gripping Liam's face, "hey, _no_ , Liam, please don't--"

"I'm so sorry," Liam manages, just barely, throat closing up, and Theo wraps his arm around Liam's shoulders and drags him into his chest, and Liam returns it, wraps his arms around Theo's waist, burying his face into Theo's chest, dragging in a ragged inhale and settling, just a little, with the comforting, familiar smell of him. There's a brief pause, and then:

"I _forgive_ you," Theo says, perfectly earnest, one hand carding through the hair on the back of Liam's head, and Liam nuzzles harder into Theo's body.

"I'll make it up to you," Liam promises, and it's completely muffled by Theo's shirt against his mouth, but Theo seems to understand perfectly fine anyways, laughing quietly.

"Okay," he replies, a corner of his mouth flickering up, and Liam's heart skips a beat.

" _Uh_ ," Josh says, and they both startle at the realization that he's still there, turning to where he's still sitting on the kitchen stool, plate now empty, eyes flicking between him and Theo, a strange look on his face. "You probably can't go wrong with good food and a movie. Just show up at her apartment. If she wants the food, she'll have to invite you in, and if she doesn't, you'll know she's really not interested."

Liam frowns, confused.

" _Hayden_ ," Josh clarifies, brows raised.

"Right," Liam says, feeling a little numb as Theo's fingers slide off his face, and he immediately misses the warmth, immediately wants to lace their fingers together and press his palm back to Liam's cheek. " _Hayden_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So!!! That happened! I don't know WHY that much took me so long to write haha but hopefully the next chapter will be the last one, and you guys can get your resolution :)
> 
> As always, tell me what you liked, what you didn't! All feedback is welcome, and GREATLY appreciated. If you want to come scream at me on tumblr, feel free to find me at [inabottlelikelightning](https://www.inabottlelikelightning.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the FUCK is this, you ask? even _I_ do not know. Remember when this started out as a cute college au about pining? damn, those were the days.
> 
> that chapter count just keeps getting higher and higher and I personally think it's hysterical how the expected chapters went from 2 to 3 to ? I think it'll end up at 4 but I really have no goddamn clue and I don't want to make any promises :D
> 
> I have it plotted out and I know how it's going to end, but this particular human au just kept growing and growing and DEMANDED a higher word count so here :)
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

Liam gets Hayden tacos and spicy queso from the best Mexican place near campus, along with _The Curse of Chucky,_ and some orchids, just to be safe.

When she opens the door, she eyes him suspiciously for a couple seconds, before stepping aside with a sigh, letting him in.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” she says, crossing her arms, and Liam gives her his most winning smile.

He brought a horror movie so that she would, like, cling to him when she got scared, but instead, she spends the entire movie _cackling_ , which, Liam supposes, _also_ works in his favor. She laughs through the movie and _really_ likes the tacos and as it turns out, orchids are her _favorite_ , so the suspicious looks mostly stop, even when he fakes a yawn to put his arm around her.

She leans into him. It should feel like a win, but Liam can’t tell why it _doesn’t._

—-

Their second date is at the park, and Hayden laces their fingers together as they stroll around aimlessly, sharing an ice cream cone that is completely season-inappropriate, and that drips all over Liam’s fingers.

Liam trips over a _dog,_ of all things, and almost eats _dirt_ on the concrete, except Hayden’s freakish reflexes and _alarming_ upper body strength allow her to grab the back of his hoodie before he hits the ground.

The ice cream still falls to the ground, with a depressing sort of _splat_ , and the owner of the dog is _screaming_ at them, and Liam stares at the ice cream on the ground despondently, almost upset by the entire thing, until he catches Hayden’s eyes, while she’s _clearly_ trying not to laugh, biting the inside of her cheek, and he can’t _help it_ , he’s off too, cackling in the face of some red-faced dudebro yelling at them about proper park protocols.

“ _Damn_ ,” Hayden murmurs, “you’re really falling for me, huh, Dunbar?”

This time, Liam really _does_ fall over, he’s laughing so hard.

Hayden’s laughter sounds like bells in the crisp December afternoon, and Liam thinks maybe this _could_ work after all.

\---

Liam’s ankle is a little wonky after that and he tries his _very best_ to look innocent while Theo shoots unimpressed looks up at him from the floor.

“A _dog,_ Liam, _really?”_ he sighs, shaking his head, but his hands are gentle where they’re wrapping his ankle. “You’re _such_ a disaster.”

Any serious reprimand in his tone is _immediately_ softened by the kiss he drops onto Liam’s knee, and Liam’s ankle is _throbbing painfully_ , but he can barely even _feel_ it now over the warmth spreading throughout the rest of his leg.

“But I’m _your_ disaster,” he protests, as Theo finishes up the splint, and Theo snorts.

“Nice _try_ ,” he says, laughing lightly. “You’re _Hayden’s_ disaster _now.”_

Liam frowns.

\---

“—anyways, it’s nothing _big_ , just, like, a small get-together thing,” she finishes, smiling up at him.

“Oh,” he replies dumbly, stilling his hand from where it was skating across her still-sweaty collarbone, and he almost gets up entirely, except their naked legs are tangled together under the sheets, and that would require a whole lot of awkward reshuffling. “I can’t.”

“You _can’t,”_ Hayden echoes, brows raising as _she_ untangles them, sitting up on the sheets. “You can’t come to my birthday brunch?”

 _“_ I’m really sorry,” Liam tries, hands finding her shoulders so that she can look him in the eyes and see how much he _means_ it. “I wish I _could_ , but I _can’t,_ I’m busy that week. Theo has a . . .” he searches for the words, before finally settling on, “ _family_ thing.”

“ _Theo_ has a family thing,” she echoes, brows going _higher._ “So why are _you_ busy all week?”

Liam swallows. “I’m supposed to _help,_ ” Liam replies, apropos of literally _nothing_.

 _Exactly twelve years ago his family abandoned him and he still thinks about it,_ Liam doesn’t say.

 _He doesn’t eat or talk or bathe for_ days _sometimes,_ _all he does is spiral into his own head and stare up at the ceiling of his bedroom_ , Liam doesn’t say.

 _The night he finally told me the truth about his family, he was angry and depressed and so drunk I thought we would go have to get his stomach pumped. He screamed, “If_ they _didn’t want me, how could anyone_ else?” _and I thought he was going to punch me in the face and so I kissed him. He was furious and hurting and beautiful and_ shaking, _and so I pressed my mouth to his bloody lips and wrapped my tongue around his until they tangled together, hot and heady under the cold December moon, and he didn't punch me in the face and I wrapped my arms around his body and he_ melted _. He cried himself to sleep in my arms and it was the worst night of my life,_ Liam doesn’t say.

( _He didn't remember it in the morning. Or at least, he pretended not to. He's been my best friend and the love of my life for years and we've never talked about it. I still think about the taste of his mouth, the feel of his body under my hands, and every time I look into his eyes for too long I feel like I'm drowning. He's so beautiful it gives me migraines but I can't stop looking and I don't know what to do.)_

 _Exactly twelve years ago, the people who were supposed to love him more than anything decided he wasn’t worth it,_ Liam _definitely_ doesn’t say, _and I think he still believes them sometimes._

Maybe he _should_ explain to Hayden why he’s blowing her off for a week, but it’s such a _private_ thing, Theo’s soft underbelly, something that he keeps walled up and protected until _Liam_ tore them down himself, that Liam can’t bring himself to say anything more than, “ _Sorry._ ” He drops a kiss on her warm shoulder. “I’ll make it up to you, I _promise.”_

The idea of telling someone _else,_ about making Theo vulnerable like that, makes Liam’s stomach turn. Makes him think, completely unbidden, _Mine._ For a week, the sole extent of Theo’s walls is _Liam_ , and Liam keeps what’s _his_ safe.

He doesn’t say anymore, which Hayden seems to realize, after a bout of silence that’s too long.

“Okay,” she says, tone perfectly neutral. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

Her tone may have been blank, but her body language screams _, you know the way out_ , rather than, _want to join me?_

Liam leaves.

\---

It starts the very next day.

When Liam gets home from lacrosse practice, the house is quiet and Theo has chem lab until late afternoon, and so Liam just collapses into the living room couch and turns the TV on, idly browsing through Netflix.

By the time it’s dark outside, Liam _still_ hasn’t picked something to watch, probably because he’s rapidly getting more and more panicked about how Theo’s not home yet.

He checks his phone, for the fourteenth time, just to make sure he hasn’t missed any calls or texts, because Theo _always_ lets him know if he’s going to be late. And even if he somehow _forgot_ , he _definitely_ would’ve replied to one of the _forty-two_ increasingly desperate texts Liam had sent him.

He stares at the screen for a good five minutes before he finally breaks, and calls Theo himself, almost jumping out of his _skin_ when he hears the phone ring from somewhere _inside_ their apartment.

 _Theo left his phone at home_ , Liam realizes, the amorphous kind of worry he’s been feeling immediately molding itself into white-hot _panic,_ as he jumps to his feet, searching for the source of the sound, because Theo _never_ leaves his phone at home.

Liam wouldn’t necessarily call it a _relief_ when he opens the door to see Theo laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, but at least he’s not somewhere _dead in a ditch_ , or suffering from any other of the amalgamation of horrible scenarios Liam had been picturing in his head, and Liam can finally drag in a breath of air and unclench his shoulders.

Liam can see Theo’s phone laying on the nightstand, all the notifications lit up on the screen, and frowns.

“Hey, why didn’t you answer your texts?” he asks, half-frantic and still trying to come down from his panic spiral. “I was worried out of my _mind.”_

There’s a brief silence, where Theo doesn’t even seem to register his presence, and then he tips his head down to look at Liam, and that’s when Liam catches the tear tracks on his face.

“Sorry,” Theo croaks, and Liam feels so stupid he wants to _smack_ himself in the fucking face, except he doesn’t think it would help right now.

“It’s okay,” Liam quickly reassures. “It’s all good, don’t even worry about it. Have you been here the whole time?” Liam asks quietly, making his way to the bed.

“Yeah,” Theo finally replies, after another long silence, voice completely flat. Liam takes a seat on the bed, brushing Theo’s hair out of his eyes.

“Why didn’t you _say_ anything?” Liam whispers, and Theo doesn’t respond, so Liam waits patiently, hand carding through Theo’s hair.

Theo doesn’t answer. Liam didn’t think he would. They both know why Theo didn’t say anything, and Liam has never hated _anyone_ with the _ferocity_ he hates Theo’s parents with.

A fresh wave of tears roll down Theo’s cheeks.

That’s another thing Liam learned senior year, somewhere between trying to stop his friends from _dying_ when Scott McCall decided to play hero and fight against the horrible genocidal religious-fundamentalist cult that had taken over, and coming to the horrifying discovery that Theo had been living in his _truck_ since he met him.

Liam learned that Theo cried silently, like if he didn’t make any noises, didn’t say anything about it or acknowledge it, it wasn’t actually happening. It broke Liam’s heart _then_ to watch, and it breaks his heart _now._

“This is—just. Fucking stupid, isn’t it?” Theo asks with a wet, bitter laugh, bringing a hand up to furiously wipe his face clean. “I’m a grown _man_ , it’s been so _long_ , I shouldn’t fucking—”

Liam catches Theo’s hand with his own, where it’s clearly moving up to rub his face _raw_ , and brushes the tears off Theo face himself, with a gentle thumb. “It’s _not_ ,” he promises, voice breaking as he brings his other hand up to Theo’s face so that it’s cupped in his hands, and Liam presses a firm, grounding kiss to his forehead. And then another, and then another.

Theo makes a derisive noise, and the tears don’t stop, and Liam _aches_ , wishing he could take his pain. But he _can’t,_ and so he does the next best thing, swinging his knees over Theo’s body until they’re bracketing Theo’s hips, and folding his body until Liam’s _completely_ on top of Theo, pressed flush to the length of his entire body, Theo’s face still in his hands.

He kisses the tears off his cheek, one by one. “Baby, it’s _not_ stupid,” Liam whispers. “It’s _not,_ I promise.”

The tears still don’t quite stop, but Theo quiets, wrapping his arms around Liam’s body.

\---

They don't move for _hours_ , pressed up against each other, Theo's nose buried in the crook of Liam's neck. At some point, Liam falls asleep, and Liam's pretty sure that at some point _, Theo_ falls asleep. He doesn't jolt or startle which is _good,_ it means the nightmares haven't started yet.

The only time they get up is when Liam opens the door to pay the pizza delivery guy and grab the box out of his hands, and he comes straight back to the bedroom, plopping down on Theo's legs and absolutely _basking_ in the sardonic stink-eye it earns him.

"Not really that hungry," Theo grumbles, but Liam doesn't let his face fall.

 _You say that every time_ , he doesn't say.

"Olives and jalapeños," Liam says, coaxing, waving the box in front of his face. Theo shoots him an unimpressed look.

" _Please?"_ Liam asks. "For me?"

Theo's frown lasts a whole ten seconds before he finally breaks, letting out a gusty sigh. " _Fine_ ," he relents, aggressively tearing a slice out, and chewing demonstratively. Liam _beams._

\---

Liam wakes up at four in the morning, and Theo's doing push ups on the floor. He's shirtless and his broad back is sweat-slicked, glinting under the low lights as the muscles shift underneath, and Liam wishes it was a sight he could appreciate, except for the fact that he knows _why_ Theo's doing it.

He rolls over to Theo's side of the bed -- or at least, Theo's side whenever they _share_ \-- and peers down at him.

"Nightmare?" he asks quietly, and Theo doesn't even stop his set, just grunts out an affirmative.

 _Why didn't you wake me up_ , he doesn't ask, because they both know _why_ he didn't wake Liam up.

"I wish you would've woken me up," Liam says instead, because it's _honest._

"No, you don't," Theo replies, just as quietly, and Liam doesn't know how the _fuck_ to even _begin_ changing his mind.

He starts by sliding off the bed, shimmying into the space between Theo's hands, flexing where they're braced on the floor.

Liam is right underneath Theo's body, and when he does his next pushup, their noses brush against each other.

"Yes, I _do,"_ Liam insists. Theo searches his face for a brief moment, eyes flicking between Liam's, and Liam doesn't know _what_ he's looking for, _what_ he can even see, since everything is shrouded in darkness, just the barest shards of moonlight leaking through the slits in the blinds. Whatever it is, Theo seems to find it.

"Okay," he acquiesces, and on the next move down, he drops a kiss on Liam's cheek. "Next time."

\---

Liam had asked, once, a long time ago, when they were different people, sharper, angrier, rougher around the edges, still _furious_ at themselves, the people around them, the _world_ (but not each other, _never_ each other): _What did you dream about?_

He didn't think it was an unfair question, because he felt eighteen and unbreakable, even with gun-toting lunatics trying to take over the town, and because he was an _idiot_ and felt like he had a right to all the secret pieces of Theo back then, just because Theo had let him peek behind the curtain.

Give him an inch, and. Well.

Liam's nightmares have always been straightforward. His Dad. Nothing shocking or special there.

Theo's were different, left him shaking, sweating, wild-eyed, half-crazed, borderline _frantic_ until Liam grabbed his face and pressed their foreheads together, gave him an anchor-point. He can taste the air of Theo's panicked gasps on his lips.

 _What did you dream about,_ Liam asks.

He asks every time Theo wakes up like this. This night is the first when Theo's walls are torn down enough to reply. They’re eighteen and they're already broken, shaking in each others arms and talking in low murmurs, and the world outside their little bubble doesn't exist.

(There are sirens ringing in the distance, but there are _always_ sirens ringing these days, ever since they took over the hospital and the Sheriff's station. Supplies are low and morale is six feet under. Yesterday, Liam spent four hours holding a phone flashlight with shaky fingers while Melissa McCall dug a bullet out of her son's shoulder with a Swiss Army Knife and a lighter under a damp underpass, while Scott bit down on the fabric of his jacket to keep his screams quiet, and Liam prayed to a God he didn't believe in that whoever was conducting patrols right now wouldn't hear his muffled cries. Melissa's fingers were sure and Liam's fingers were shaking and Scott was bleeding out onto the concrete beneath them and Liam was _sure_ he was going to die. The day before that, they had just gotten Theo back, after Monroe's people took him for a _week_. He puts on an unaffected façade, but Liam catches the electrical burns that he hides under deceptively long sleeves. Liam shoves the cuffs of his sweatshirt up in the dark of his truck and leaves sloppy, open-mouthed kisses up the jagged lines of his burn marks, while Theo looks on with dark eyes. He hadn't _had_ to _kill_ anyone to get Theo back, but he almost did anyways. The day before _that_ , he watched Kira stab a man in the thigh with one of her mother's knives. She saved Liam's life, and the man bled out, and that was the first time Liam watched someone die. The Feds said they were sending in forces, but they underestimated them. The agent they sent died within a day, and they haven't established contact ever since.

 _We're fighting in a war_ , Liam realizes, with his teeth sinking into Theo's muscled forearm. He hears Theo's breath hitch and he bites _harder_ , sucking the skin between the teeth and rolling it slowly _, obscene._ Liam wants to steal the breath from his lungs completely, wants to crawl inside his skin and never leave.

They're eighteen and their broken and it's not because of the burns running along Theo's arms or the bruises that still linger on Liam's face from when they confronted him at the school, because the truth _is_ , they've _been_ broken for a long, long time. Longer than most.

Too long.)

 _What did you dream about_ , Liam asks, and Theo meets his eyes. Theo _never_ meets his eyes when he's like this, and the sudden attention makes Liam sit up straighter.

 _My sister,_ he breathes, clutching at Liam's shoulder's like he's going to disappear if Theo doesn't hold on tight. _Sometimes, she chases me down a dark hallway,_ he says, eyes wide and boring into Liam's, _and when she catches me, she rips my heart out of my chest. She does it over and over and over again, and I can't wake up._

His lips are bitten bloody and Liam wants to lick the coppery red from his hot, plush mouth.

 _Why does she do that_ , Liam asks.

 _Oh,_ Theo says, surprised. _Because I stole her heart first. It wasn't mine to take,._

And then, quieter, _When I'm there, sometimes I wonder if_ this _is the dream, and_ that's _real life. When I go to sleep here, I wake up in the morgue, and I just wonder. . ._

Liam stares for a whole minute, quiet, and then finally, plants a kiss like a punch in the middle of Theo's forehead. It's not something he's done before, ever, with anyone. It's bizarrely chaste, but it makes the skin around Theo's eyes soften.

Liam loves him.

He's eighteen and broken and angry and he doesn't even know _how_ to love, not properly, but he knows this much: he loves Theo. So much that it terrifies him. This is something he _knows_ , even if he doesn't admit it to himself for a very long time, doesn't admit it to anyone _else_ for even longer, and doesn't admit it to Theo for the absolute _longest;_ doesn't admit it to Theo until Thanksgiving and Theo's twenty-first and _Hayden_ and _Josh_ and bizarrely, the reappearance of Brett the Asshole, and everything in between. But by then, everything has gone to shit.

But Liam doesn't know that yet, all he knows is that he's eighteen and he _wants_ and they still don't talk about that time Liam licked inside his mouth and Theo pressed back into the pressure with a moan, and Liam loves him too much to let him go, too much to scare him off, too much to taste the sweat in the hollow of his hip just once, feel the pretty sounds that would spill from his lips only one time, one adrenaline-fueled, gloriously-sweaty, mind-blowing time, because war makes people do crazy things. A promise for today is not a promise for tomorrow, and if Liam sinks his teeth into Theo's neck and they pretend like it didn't happen in the morning, it would destroy him. They might die in the morning, but if they don't, Liam knows he would be ruined for anyone else.

But Theo's right in front of Liam and his mouth is parted and his eyes are soft and his eyelashes are so, so long.

Liam plants another kiss on his forehead, and then another after that.

\---

Later, Liam thinks about the implications of, _she chases me through a dark hallway and rips my heart out over and over and over again._

Thinks about the implications of, _I can't wake up,_ and, _sometimes I wonder if_ this _is the dream, and_ that's _real life._

Liam doesn't sleep for a week, and Theo's lips thin when he catches the dark circles under his eyes, self-deprecating in a way that makes Liam think he knows _exactly_ what has inspired Liam's sudden insomnia. They've been fighting together for too long. Theo knows him like the back of his hand. There's nothing that Liam can hide from him, nothing at all, except for the fact that he's terribly, painfully in love with him, and he doesn't even hide it _that_ well.

Theo unbuttons Liam's shirt with quick, deft fingers, and even sleep-deprived and confused, Liam's mouth goes dry. The tips of Theo's fingers skate along his waistband, and Liam thinks, desperately, blood draining south, _keep going_ , even as the other half is praying that Theo stops, praying that he doesn't break the fragile _whatever_ forming between them.

Instead of dipping lower and doing something crazy like dropping to his knees and mouthing at the bulge in his jeans and looking up at him with those big, pretty eyes until it's all Liam can do to take himself out and grip the back of Theo's head and fuck into his hot mouth, Theo takes his own shirt off. Liam swallows again, _harder._

Theo does something even _crazier_ than wrapping his lips around the tip of Liam's cock. He shoves Liam down onto the bed, climbs in with him, rolls Liam to his side and crawls up behind him, until his naked chest is flush with Liam's back. He cranes his head over to plant a firm kiss on Liam's temple, slings an arm around his waist, and says, right up against the shell of Liam's ear, voice gravelly, "Go to _sleep."_

Liam times his breath with Theo's, and the sound of his soft inhales and the _Theo_ smell of him and the feeling of Theo's warm, bare skin against Liam's puts him into a peaceful, dreamless sleep for the first time in a _while_.

Theo holds him, and the rest of the world quiets down. For the first time in a _while_ , the sirens in the distance melt away. 

\---

Theo finishes his pushups at five-thirty, and Liam can _see_ his muscles trembling, bunched up and knotted and overworked, and he _knows_ they'll be painful as _fuck_ in the morning if they don't do something about it _now._

Theo collapses onto Liam's body, and he's sweaty and _shaking_ , but Liam accepts the weight just fine, arms wrapping around his upper body. It's not the first time Theo has collapsed onto him, and it probably won't be the last. Liam knows the nooks and crannies of Theo's body by now — where his knees and elbows dig in and how Liam's hands fit to the hollows of Theo's slim hips and the exact angle at which Liam has to twist his legs outward so that Theo can fit comfortably in between them.

He skates a hand up Theo's bare, sweaty deltoid, and Theo finally looks up, meeting his eyes.

"I'll run you a bath," Liam offers, but Theo shakes his head, shutting his eyes.

"S'fine," he replies. "You don't have to."

"I know," Liam says, because he _does_. "I _want_ to."

He drops a kiss on Theo's forehead, and then another. Theo opens his eyes again, and they're softer than they were a second ago.

"Let me?" Liam asks quietly, and Theo drops his forehead to Liam’s collarbone.

"Okay," Theo whispers back.

\---

Liam fills the tub with water until it's steaming. He pulls Theo's shirt over his head and unbuttons his jeans moving to undo the fly and that's when Theo puts a hand over his, stilling him.

"I can do it _myself_ ," he says, cheeks burning red, and Liam can't help but frown when he realizes it's _shame_ , not embarassment. Liam sighs.

 _Why are you so ashamed to need someone_ , he doesn't say. He knows why.

"Please," Liam tries, because he doesn't know how else to do this, _"please,_ just let me take care of you?"

" _Liam,"_ Theo says, eyes liquid-soft, but still sadder than Liam would like, a hand brushing feather-light over his cheek, "I _promise_ , you don't--"

"I _know_ ," Liam repeats, hands running over Theo's bare shoulders, "I know, I know, I _know_ I don't have to, but I _want to._ I really, _really_ want to."

 _Okay,_ Theo doesn't say, but Liam hears it in the eventual sharp nod of his head as he surrenders to Liam's hands.

Liam runs his soapy hands down Theo's legs and across his chest and his abdomen and his thighs, before focusing on his back, working out the stubborn knots with persistent thumbs until Theo is warm and pliant and boneless, making dazed, appreciative noises that Liam can't help but quirk a smile at. When he digs his fingers into a particularly sore spot, Theo tips his head back and moans _loud_ , and Liam goes from half-mast to completely hard, but he barely even registers it, barely even feels aware of his own body, because Theo looks weightless, burden-free, for the first time in a _while._

Liam makes a promise to himself to do this more often, as he begins working the shampoo into his hair.

"Tip your head back, sweetheart," he whispers, and Theo relaxes his neck obediently, perfectly pliant in a way that makes something warm -- something _hot_ \-- curl in Liam's gut. Liam empties the shower pail, pouring the water into Theo's hair and using his fingers to rub the last of the lather out, before starting in on the conditioner.

(They did this once for each other, at the end of the war, when Monroe was dead with a bullet in her head, and Beacon Hills was finally, more-or-less back to normal. They shared a shower, washing the blood and dirt off of each other's bodies with careful hands, gentle fingers. It wasn't sexy, not at all. But it _was_ the most loved Liam has ever felt in his _life._ )

By the time he's done, Theo's half asleep in the tub, too tired to protest when Liam gently rubs him down with a towel and puts him in a new pair of sweats.

"Thanks," Theo mumbles, just barely awake.

" _Don't_ ," Liam replies, forehead pressed to the back of Theo's neck as he wraps an arm around his waist, fits his knees into the back of Theo's own. " _Don't_ thank me."

He brushes his lips against the nape of Theo's neck, and then _immediately_ falls sleep.

\---

When Liam wakes up, it’s mid-afternoon, and Theo’s still fast asleep. Liam gives himself ten minutes to look his fill — watch the way the light falls onto the contours of his face and enjoy the warmth of him pressed right up against Liam's body — before he makes himself untangle his legs from Theo and sit up. He stretches, popping his joints, before dropping a kiss on the swell of Theo's cheekbone and finally getting out of bed, making his way to the kitchen in order to take stock of their fridge and pantry.

He eats half of a Family Size bag of Doritos as a substitute for breakfast and lunch, and finds a bag of frozen ravioli in the freezer, and an unexpired, unopened bottle of marinara in the pantry, and Liam gets to heating up a pot of water and making them dinner.

Theo wakes up around six-thirty in the evening, and comes into the kitchen, sleep-mussed and bleary eyed and so fucking cute and sleepy that Liam wants to cup his face in his hands and kiss him stupid.

He settles for a smile over his shoulder instead.

"Hey," Liam says. "Sleep well?"

Theo makes his way closer, until he's pressed all the way up against Liam's back, and Liam stops breathing altogether.

"Yeah," Theo replies, right into his ear, voice still sleep-husky, and Liam doesn't shudder. He _doesn't_.

(He does.)

Theo hooks his chin over Liam's shoulder, leaning forward to take a whiff of the pot of ravioli, and letting out a long, satisfied groan that makes Liam's brain melt out of his ears, just a little. He can _feel_ the rumble of Theo's chest where it's pressed against his back, and he can't _help_ but lean against it.

"Smells good," Theo says, giving him a quick peck on the cheek, and Liam has to duck his head to hide the resulting flush. "I like it when you cook for us," Theo says softly, almost _conspiratorially_ , and Liam can't help but laugh.

"I don't _cook,"_ Liam protests, shaking his head. "I heat up whatever we have in the freezer. _You_ cook."

" _Still,"_ Theo insists, and he settles down onto one of the stools by the kitchen counter, just _watching_ Liam stir the pot, and Liam feels hot all over.

\---

He wants to feed Theo ravioli himself _so damn bad_ , but he's pretty sure Theo would take it as an insult, so he lets him be. Granted, they share a single bowl and a single spoon (because doing dishes _suck)_ and just pass it back and forth while the movie plays.

Liam can't tell _exactly_ when Theo stops watching, all he knows is that at some point, he reaches over to push the ravioli bowl into his hands, and Theo's eyes are unfocused as he stares at the TV.

The family onscreen is having dinner. Liam feels his heart drop into his stomach like a _rock_ , but he _knows_ that if he suggests they change the movie, it'll turn into a _thing._ And Theo will withdraw _further_ into himself, and then everything will go to _shit_. So, Liam doesn't reach for the remote. Instead, he reaches for Theo's hand, brushes his fingers against Theo's lightly.

"Okay?" Liam asks, and Theo's eyes finally focus again, flicking to Liam.

He takes the bowl from Liam's hands, and cuts himself a piece of ravioli with the spoon. He stares down at the bowl for a long time, before finally taking a bite and chewing. Afterwards, he still doesn't reply, just sits quietly with their ravioli, but Liam waits, patient.

"I just don't understand," Theo finally says, "why I _miss_ them so much. I should— I should _hate_ them, right? They didn't _want_ me. At the _end,_ by the time Tara was— was—" he shakes his head, clenching his eyes shut tight, and Liam reaches out to place his palm on Theo's arm, squeezing, grounding.

"Hey," Liam says, gently coaxing, palm running down Theo's arm to grab his hand and lace their fingers together until they aren't shaking as much. "Hey, it's _okay."_

"They couldn't even _look_ at me," Theo says, and his voice breaks, right in the middle of it, and with it, so does Liam's heart. "I should _hate_ them," Theo insists, and Liam doesn't know _which_ one of them he's trying to convince.

 _You should_ , he doesn't say. _I do._

"I don't think it works like that, sweetheart," he says instead, wrapping Theo's hand with both of his own until it's warm and cradled in it's palms. "I think everyone ends up missing _someone_ who doesn't deserve to be missed."

The words are weighty, much heavier than Liam intended, but they're out there and they're _honest._ Theo looks up at Liam, eyes locked with his, and Liam knows he sees right through him.

Theo wraps his hand around Liam's and they sit there, warm, hands sandwiched together.

"I think you might be right," Theo replies.

Liam watches their hands, folded together, and misses the rest of the movie. Neither of them make a move to reclaim their hands. The ravioli goes cold, but Liam can't bring himself to give a damn.

\---

Theo's nightmares don't get _better_ , but they also don't get _worse,_ so Liam takes it as a win.

Theo _also_ actually _wakes Liam up_ , for the first time in the _three years_ since he's known him. Liam's shaken awake at ass-o'-clock in the morning, and he nuzzles into Theo's bicep, head muzzy, as he mumbles, "S'wrong?"

"Tell me something," Theo says, and there's _something_ in his voice, something that rings the alarm bells in Liam's head, the note of panic that he hasn't heard since senior year, when they waited for their imminent deaths in the deceptively-calm hospital elevator. Liam doesn't _shoot up_ , because it would probably make Theo panic, but all of a sudden, he's _wide awake._

"What do you want to hear?" Liam asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Anything," Theo pleads. "Tell me— tell me about how you met Mason."

Theo's covered in a cold sweat, but Liam doesn't give a shit, dragging his body in closer, because he knows he _needs_ the warmth.

"Okay," Liam says, arms rubbing up and down Theo's flank, dipping underneath the hem of Theo's shirt to try and warm his clammy skin. "Okay."

Theo _knows_ how he met Mason, because it was a story _Mason_ told him, way back when, while they were trying to distract themselves during their long trek down in the tunnels where that brainwashed kid snuck down and went _straight_ for Mason, and Theo threw himself in the line of fire.

("He—" Mason tries, hands shaking as he tries to press down on the blood welling up from Theo's body. "He saved my _life."_

"You _idiot,"_ Liam seethes, trying to tie a tourniquet with the remnants of Theo's shirt and not let him bleed out in the fucking sewer. "Why the _fuck_ would you do that?"

Theo laughs wetly. Blood bubbles from his lips and when Mason catches sight of it, a strangled, pained noise is ripped from his throat. "Don't act like I didn't do _exactly_ what you wanted me to," Theo says, rolling his eyes. "We _both_ know how important he is to you."

Mason hasn't given a _shit_ about Theo before _today,_ and yet, he looks the most panicked Liam's _ever_ seen him as he scrabbles desperately for Theo's wrist, pressing two fingers to his pulse point and counting quietly for a little bit, before his eyes flick up to Liam's, wild.

" _Liam,"_ Mason says, frantic, "Liam, _fuck_ , his _pulse_ is dropping." His eyes flick back to Theo, and widen even further. "Raeken? Theo, you _asshole_ , don't you _dare_ close your eyes." He slaps Theo in the face a couple times, surprisingly gentle, _screaming_ his name, while Liam grits his teeth and tightens the tourniquet.

"You're so fucking _stupid_ ," Liam says, _fuming_. " _You're_ important to me _too."_

Even as he's half-dead, bleeding out into the concrete of the sewer system, Theo quirks a smile.)

The story's fairly complicated. It involves a sandbox, Jenna Geyer's lipstick tube, slightly illegal fireworks, three instances of mistaken identity, minor arson, and Liam and Mason at five-years-old, giggling in the back of a cop car.

It's a good story. Theo's probably heard it a million times over the years, a million different ways. It puts him right to sleep.

\---

It gets better, over the course of the week. It doesn't _always_ — last time it got _worse_ — but it appears that luck is on their side. Theo's nightmares let up a little bit. Liam washes his hair again, because he wants to and because Theo _lets_ him, but he probably wouldn't if this were any other week.

When they finally, inevitably run out of palatable frozen food, and Liam, absolutely _high_ on the way Theo looks at him when he cooks, refuses to order takeout, they put together a charcuterie board. It's not _perfect;_ it has the fancy cheeses, but also, like, string cheese and some old lunch meat that Liam found at the back of their fridge.

 _But_ , the important part is, that the cheeses and crackers and fruit are all small enough that Theo lets Liam _feed him_ , under the guise of sampling flavor combinations.

"Here," Liam says, spreading some brie and fruit jam onto a cracker, and holding it up to Theo's mouth. "Try it."

Theo's eyes flick to Liam, then down to the cracker, and then back to Liam. He opens his mouth obediently, closing his lips around the cracker, and then chewing slowly while Liam watches with rapt attention, _fascinated_.

Theo licks his lips. "It's good," he croaks, and something warm, something _hotly satisfied_ curls in Liam's gut, as he picks up another cracker, and considers the rest of the board, trying to decide on the next one.

\---

After Theo feels better and they both finally return to class, Liam checks the notifications on his phone, swiping through them idly on the shuttle ride to campus.

He thinks about reaching out to Hayden, but when he taps on their conversation, he's surprised to find two messages already waiting for him.

_Thanks for the birthday flowers. They were beautiful xx_

_Let me know when you're done with your family thing :)_

Liam frowns down at his screen for a bit, confused, before he feels a nudge at his knee, Theo's leg knocking into his.

"What's that face for?" Theo asks, brow quirked, and Liam hands him the phone.

"I didn't _send_ her flowers," Liam explains, trying to puzzle out if it was some kind of _code_ , like when people said _fine_ , when they were anything _but_ , or like when Hayden said _okay,_ but she really meant, _get the fuck out of my apartment._

"Huh," Theo says. "Weird."

His tone is neutral. _Too_ neutral. Liam narrows his eyes suspiciously.

"No _way,"_ he says, incredulous. "You _didn't."_

Theo sniffs. "I don't know what you're talking about."

" _Theo,"_ Liam warns.

" _Liam,"_ Theo echoes in the same tone, laughing. "It was _my fault_ you missed her birthday in the first place, and. I remember you said she liked the orchids, so."

He averts his gaze, seemingly embarassed, and something inside Liam absolutely _squirms_ at the idea of Theo buying Hayden birthday flowers on _his_ behalf.

"First of all," Liam manages, tilting Theo's head towards him with two gentle fingers nudging his jaw, "absolutely _nothing_ about the last week was _your fault_ , so you _stop that right now_. _Second,"_ he says, leaning in to kiss Theo on the cheek, and then on the temple, "you're so fucking _sweet_ , you should come with a warning label."

Theo snorts and shoves Liam away, but Liam catches sight of the _fascinating_ flush working it's way down Theo's collarbones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! Wasn't that just something!! The writing pace really picked up this chapter, I had such a fucking BLAST writing it, it went by so fast. Hopefully the conclusion goes like that too, and I can finish this soon!!
> 
> Tell me what you liked, what you didn't!! As always, all feedback is welcomed and highly appreciated :)  
> If you want to come scream at me on tumblr, feel free to find me at [inabottlelikelightning](https://www.inabottlelikelightning.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys how's it going haha i am BACK  
> this chapter should be the second to last one! we're nearing the end now. This was not at all what I thought it would be, but I feel like I... needed to write this.
> 
> (if you're here hoping for a yofoeaat update, I'm working on it! don't worry!)
> 
> welcome to chapter 4 of me doing the Everyone's POV But Theo's challenge lmfao :D
> 
> this story really took on a life of it's own. I hope you enjoy!

"I'm not saying _no,"_ Hayden amends quickly, fingers brushing down Liam's shoulders, reassuring. "I guess it just seems a little . . . _Fast?"_

Liam quirks a smile. "You can say _no_ if you want," he assures her, grabbing her hand where her fingers are still nervously fluttering along the line of his arm and lacing their fingers together. "It's all good. I _swear_ , my feelings won't be hurt."

Hayden chews on her lip for a couple seconds, clearly deliberating, watching him with big, dark eyes.

Finally, she leans forward, dropping a kiss on his cheek.

"Okay," she says, resolute, her expression cracking into a wide, nervous smile. "Okay, sure, I'll come."

\---

" _Christmas?"_ Theo echoes, looking so shocked that Liam's surprised he doesn't accidentally drop the plate he's rinsing back into the sink. He stills, staring into the distance, and Liam tentatively takes it out of his slackening hands, drying it with a dishtowel, like he's been doing for the past twenty minutes.

Finally, Theo's eyes focus again, and he turns to Liam, and Liam sighs.

"You think it's too fast," Liam surmises, trying to keep his face from falling as he attempts to retreat, but Theo catches it, and he clasps a hand around Liam's wrist, even though he has to turn away from Liam before he can reply.

"No," Theo says cautiously. "No, it--" he sighs, seemingly moving to push his hair out of his eyes, before realizing that his hands are wet and soapy, and so Liam does it for him, brushing a piece of hair out of his eyes and tucking it securely behind his ear, before moving down to tap at the pulse point fluttering in Theo's neck until he finally turns and looks Liam in the eye. Their gazes lock, and Theo swallows heavily. "I think," he says, "you should do whatever you're both comfortable with. If you like her enough to--" he swallows again, almost reflexively, and Liam realizes his fingers are still brushing along the line of Theo's neck absently. He withdraws. "--to bring her home for Christmas," Theo continues, "and she _wants_ to come, no one's going to tell you otherwise."

"You bringing Josh?" Liam asks, because maybe if _Theo_ brings someone home too, some of the heat will be taken off him.

Theo snorts, incredulous. " _Josh?"_ he asks, sounding amused. "No, Liam," he says indulgently, "I'm not taking _Josh_ to Christmas."

"I don't know why you're saying it like _that_ ," Liam says, disgruntled. "You guys _are_ dating, aren't you?"

"Sure," Theo replies, "but we're definitely not _there_ yet. It'd be too--" he stops, abruptly, cutting himself off with a wince.

 _Fast,_ Liam finishes, in the privacy of his own head. Theo shoots him an apologetic look and Liam brushes it off with a shake of his head, a kiss to Theo's temple, and a gentle hip-check as he finishes drying the last dish on the rack.

\---

For the most part, everyone really likes Hayden, which is an _enormous_ relief. Not that Liam was seriously worried that they _wouldn't_ because what's not to like?

There's only one moment that's kind of strange, in which his Mom pulls him aside shortly after introductions, right into the same room where she screamed at him during Thanksgiving.

"Liam, what are you _doing?"_ she asks, hands planted on her hips, and Liam doesn't know _how_ to respond to _that._

He frowns. "You don't like her?"

"She seems like a perfectly nice girl," his Mom replies, "but that's not the _point."_

Her words are _pointed_ , but Liam can't quite tell what they're pointed _at._ Liam doesn't know why people don't just come out and say what they _mean._

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he finally manages, confused, and his Mom drops her head into her hands.

"Jesus _fucking_ Christ," she mutters. "Sometimes, I honestly don't know what to do with you, baby."

It takes a couple seconds, but finally, she removes her hands to meet Liam's eyes again. "You really like her?" she asks, and Liam quirks a small smile.

"I _really_ like her," he confirms.

 _I think I could love her,_ he can't help but think, _if I was someone else. If I wasn't already completely, totally_ , pathetically _gone for--_

"Okay," his Mom says, resolute, dusting off her hands with a slight frown. " _Okay."_

\---

Hayden's only in Beacon Hills for about a week before she's going back upstate to celebrate Christmas Day with her sister, which is _good_ , because Liam needs company over the holidays, and his Mom is, apparently, trying to work Theo to the _bone_. Liam barely sees him at all the first couple days they're back home, which is _weird_ , because it's the first time in _years_ that they haven't shared a room during the holidays. Theo still has his own room, from when he moved in senior year, but they usually both end up in Liam's in order to make space for all the relatives.

Theo waving him off when Liam asked, replying with a laugh, "You guys need your space, and _trust me_ , you guys are _not_ gonna want _me_ there at the end of the day," tone suggestive.

 _I always want you_ , Liam doesn't say. _I can't remember what it's like to not._

The first time Liam actually spends any _time_ with Theo, is when Liam and Hayden are halfway through a Hallmark movie so shitty that Liam zoned out thirty minutes ago, so spaced out that he's basically napping with his eyes open. He's not allowed to help in the kitchen anymore after the Great Cookie Decimation of 2017 and he's not allowed to help decorate the tree anymore after the Alleged Accidental Arson of 2015, so all Liam can do is lie on the couch and drift while everyone else bustles about.

Theo collapses onto the third couch cushion with a loud groan, swinging his legs onto both their laps as his back slumps down onto the armrest, the vertebrae in his back popping as he arches his back, stretching his entire body out. His thighs flex in Hayden's lap, while his calves fall across Liam's, and Liam's hands automatically move to loop around his ankles, squeezing gently, before his thumbs instinctively dig into the arches of his foot, and Theo _melts_ against the couch.

"Jesus, _fuck,"_ he moans, _"Liam_."

Liam snickers, even as he feels the heat rise in his neck helplessly, and Hayden clears her throat, shifting a bit, before she cracks a grin.

"You _good?"_ she asks, settling her palms over the tops of his knees and he sighs, loud and gusty.

"Ma's trying to kill me, I _swear_ ," he says, shaking his head as he scrubs a hand over his eyes. "I've literally never cooked so much in my _life,_ my _god_. How many fucking _people_ are coming this year? It feels like _double_ what we made _last year_."

"Aw, _sweetheart_ ," Liam coos mockingly, as he digs his thumbs in _harder_ , rolling them against the muscle, and Theo moans again, _louder_ , "is the pie-making getting too taxing for you?"

Theo flips him off, one hand thrown over his face as he threatens, "I'm telling her you said that," and Liam can't help but laugh.

"Does that mean," Hayden says, the corner of her mouth flickering up, playful, "that I can touch _these_ ," she flexes her hands on his thighs, squeezing lightly, "without getting in trouble?"

" _Dude,"_ Theo says, sounding _exhausted_ , "I've literally been squatting in front of that oven for _hours_. My whole body hurts." He waves his hand, sloppy and uncoordinated. "Fuckin' _go for it."_

Hayden shoots a _hysterically_ questioning look at Liam, that he shrugs off, considering he's still rubbing circles into Theo's feet. She kneads the muscles in one thigh _thoroughly_ , and Theo groans, half-asleep.

" _Oh my god,"_ she whispers to Liam, brows raised as high as they can go, "they're like _rocks."_

"He does Pilates," Liam offers, because it's better than saying _we fought in a war, years ago, and still habitually keep in shape because of it_ , which is half of the truth, and probably _much_ better than saying, _I drop a lot of food under the bed and Theo's in charge of vacuuming_ , which is the other half.

" _Christ,"_ she mutters, slapping her palm across the thick of Theo's thigh. "Sign me _up."_

\---

"Okay," Hayden says, head resting on his chest, fingers drumming on his collarbone. "Okay, I think I've got all the names down."

"And don't--"

"Bring up the moon landing, yeah, Liam, I _know_ ," she says, laughing. "Just one question, though," she adds, and Liam hums, prompting. "Are you and Theo, like, _brothers?"_

" _What?"_ Liam manages, choking on the word as it comes out of his mouth, body going _completely_ rigid. " _No!_ That's just-- _No!_ Absolutely _not_ , why would--?"

" _Jesus,"_ Hayden interrupts, looking up at him, wide eyed, eyebrows all the way up to her hairline, "it was just a _question_ , no need to get so," she waves a hand, " _weird_ about it. He calls your mom _'Ma_ ', it's not _that_ strange of a question."

"Well," Liam replies, feeling like his foot is wedged firmly in his mouth, "that's because she's his mom too."

\------

Jenna waits until the rest of the house is quiet to finally ask, and it doesn't take long. Everybody's in bed by midnight, even though the both of them have to stay awake later than usual to meal prep for the rest of the food tomorrow.

"So," she finally says, "how's it going down there in L.A.?"

Theo shoots her an indulgent smile, a _knowing_ one, as he deftly chops another carrot, quick and efficient. "Good," he replies, eyebrows raised. "No new updates since the last time you asked. Which was just a week ago. In case you forgot in your old age."

She pauses her own chopping to swat him across the head, and he accepts it good-naturedly.

"Have you been eating enough?" she can't help but ask, and he laughs again, quiet and warm.

"Yeah, Ma," he replies dutifully. "You ask every week, and the answer is _always_ yes."

"Well, what am I _supposed_ to do?" she laments, ruffling his hair, and he doesn’t duck away and scowl like Liam does, he just makes a put-upon face like he always does, like the corner of his mouth isn't betraying him by flickering up. "Both my boys are out of the house and _you're_ the only one who calls. God forbid _Liam_ ever pick up a _phone."_ She pokes at his arm experimentally. "You look even _bigger_ in person."

Theo tenses, just a little, just enough for Jenna to notice, but not enough for anyone else. He seems to _deliberately_ relax his muscles, before continuing to chop, albeit slower. Jenna scrapes her own chopped vegetables into a plastic container.

"Yeah," Theo finally says, face perfectly nonchalant, which is a red flag if Jenna's ever seen one. He turns away to the unpeeled potatoes on the far counter before she can get a better read on him. "'ve been spending more time in the gym lately."

Jenna chews her lip thoughtfully for a moment, before switching tacks.

"So," Jenna tries again carefully, keeping her tone as light as possible, "Hayden, huh?"

As much as he probably doesn't mean to show it, Theo's back visibly stiffens, peeler slipping on the potato, elbow knocking against the counter with a painful-sounding _smack_ , before he seems to himself back under control, reigning his reactions back in, in a way that makes Jenna's gut churn.

"She's nice," Theo says, falsely bright, peeling the potato with rapid, ruthless swipes. "Funny. Pretty. Liam likes her a lot."

Jenna watches the back of his head. Allows himself the privacy of facing the wall. "You okay?"

"Of course," Theo replies immediately, "why wouldn't I be? She makes Liam happy."

Jenna faintly wonders how much it cost him to say that.

Jenna tries to bite it back, hold it in, but the tense set of Theo's shoulders and the way he's hunching in on himself in the way that he _used_ to, all those years ago, make it _impossible_ for her to keep from blurting: "I've never seen him as happy as when he's with _you_."

The potato peeler falls to the ground with a metallic clatter. Theo grips the counter, the muscles in his arm flexing, and Jenna can't see his _face_ , doesn't know what she can do to _help._

 _“_ Is _that_ why I’ve spent the last three days straight in the _kitchen?”_ Theo asks slowly, voice low and blank. “What are you—? Are you trying to— to _shield_ me? Because I don’t _need—”_

 _“_ I’m trying to _protect_ you,” she replies, and Theo’s shoulders winch themselves _tighter_ , but she steps forward with a desperate plea of, " _Theo--"_

" _Jenna,"_ Theo snaps back, tone dangerous in a way that means _stay away_ , that means _I'm bad news_ , the exact words that Theo had said all those years ago with bruises on his face and a body too thin to hide the ribs that poked out, the tips of his fingers blue from the cold outside. _I'm bad news,_ Theo had said, _you can't_ possibly _want me here_ , sneering and exaggeratedly sardonic, like he hadn't cried in Jenna's arms while David cut an arrow out of his arm, just a couple days ago in a supply closet at the hospital. Like Liam hadn't near singlehandedly torn apart the entire building trying to find him.

(One of the fanatics with a bow and arrow. Jenna trying to get to David at the hospital in a desperate hail-Mary. A crossbow pointed right at her stomach, an arrow whizzing toward her, a kid stepping in front of her almost faster than she could process it. The sound of the arrow tearing through his shoulder is wet and visceral, and something that sticks with her for the rest of her life. So is his surprised grunt, the way he stumbles back into her and she catches him instinctively, the hopeless, helpless look in his eyes as he looks down at the arrow shaft sticking out of his body, and then back at her.

" _No,"_ she says, tone even, gripping at him desperately. " _No_ , do you _hear me? Absolutely not."_

He looks painfully resigned, and Jenna's grip tightens.

The next thing she remembers is a commotion near the front, and David taking advantage of the momentary distraction to drag the both of them into a dark closet.

The flick of a light switch, the rifling through supplies for equipment, and Jenna, half-dazed, wondering if a kid, barely eighteen by the looks of it, is about to die because of her own impulsive, poorly-planned rescue attempt.

 _He's not,_ Jenna decides, right then and there, pushing his sweaty hair back and murmuring things that she hopes are soothing as David digs into his shoulder with a sharp knife and no anesthetic, and the only thing that's keeping her from upending the contents of her stomach all over the closet floor is the way that he's burying his pained cries into her stomach, writhing against on the cold tiles as David grits his teeth and digs _harder_ , and Jenna ignores the stinging of her own eyes, the lump in her throat and the churning of her stomach and the sounds of David's fingers squelching against tissue and muscle.

Halfway through, the pleading starts.

" _Please,"_ he begs desperately, eyes glazed over, face twisted in pain, and Jenna _breaks_. " _Please stop, please, please, please--"_

“ _Jen,”_ David says suddenly, jaw clenched, “hold him _down,_ he’s moving too much.”

Jenna puts her weight forward and pins his body to the ground with her palms, and his face twists up _harder_ , tears rolling down his face.

“ _Please don’t_ ,” he continues to beg, half-delirious, but staring right up at her, “please stop, please, I’ll do _anything—”_

"I'm _sorry,"_ she whispers back, voice breaking on a sob as she wraps herself around as much of his body as she can. "I'm _sorry,_ I'm _sorry,_ I'm so, so _sorry_. It'll be over soon, I _promise._ Almost done, sweetheart, we're almost there."

It takes David the better part of an hour to get the rest of the arrow out, and when he's done, his forearms are _covered_ in blood. The kid has been shaking for the last fifteen minutes, pupils blown wide as he trembles uncontrollably.

"He's going into shock," David says blankly, hands clenching around air and Jenna’s fingers spasm around the kid’s shoulders.

"Why did you _do_ that?" Jenna pleads, face wet and gut twisted.

"Had to," the kid replies nonsensically, blinking slowly. "He _loves_ you. I’ve seen pictures."

The door swings open.

Light spills into the dingy closet, Liam standing with his hand on the knob in his full glory, bruises covering her face and blood smeared across his arms, a Kevlar vest stretched across his chest and his eyes hard like Jenna has never seen. She has to bite back another sob.

His face softens _immediately_ , slipping into worry as he sees her and David, catalogues all the blood on him, says, panicked, “Are you okay? Are you alright? What’s—?”

“We’re fine,” David assures, voice tight, “it’s not ours, it’s . . .”

He scoots aside to let Liam see the kid and Liam’s whole face _spasms_ violently as he drops to his knees, right there on the floor, moving _immediately_ to hold the boy’s face in his hands.

“ _Theo?”_ Liam says, sounding desperate, pleading, his whole body leaning into the boy’s as his fingers spasm where they’re stroking along his cheekbone. “Oh god, Theo, hey, c’mon, _please_. Look at me.”

His voice cracks on every other word. His knuckles are stained with blood but he’s holding Theo’s face in his hands with fingers so gentle that it makes Jenna’s breath catch in her throat.

 _Theo,_ Jenna thinks, half-hysterically, looking up at the same time David does and catching his eyes as they share a look. As they share a thought: _Liam’s Theo._

“ _Liam_?” Theo manages, throat raspy, sounding lost, sounding _scared_.

“Yeah, baby, m’here,” Liam says, brushing his hair out of his eyes, and Theo’s good hand — the one on the opposite side of his bloody shoulder — comes up to hold Liam’s palm against his face. Their fingers tangle together and Jenna can’t tell who did it first, but Theo’s eyes are still glassy and:

“M’tired, Li,” Theo murmurs, blinking slowly, and Liam leans down to press their foreheads together firmly, eyes sliding shut.

“I know,” Liam says, voice hoarse, almost a _sob,_ “I know, I _know,_ but you gotta stay awake, okay? You _gotta.”_

“Liam,” Theo says, and then nothing else, like it’s all he _needed_ to say. His expression screws up, and he repeats, quieter, “ _Liam,”_ and there’s a whole _world_ in the way he says it, tone inundated with _something_ Jenna can’t bring herself to understand, no matter how much she studies it, but _Liam_ seems to understand it _perfectly_ — a whole world in the way he’s looking up at Liam and Liam’s looking back, Theo’s face cupped in his hands and Theo’s fingers wrapped loosely around Liam’s wrists and they’re _shaking,_ both of them, and Jenna feels so, incredibly out of her depth.

“No,” Liam says, like it’s that simple, face hardening, before bringing Theo’s hand to his mouth and kissing the inside of his wrist. He looks back up to David, who looks surprised, stock-still. “What do you need?”

His voice is stern and no-nonsense, and he seems so much _older_ than his eighteen years, and Jenna’s heart _aches._

“Enough time to get him down the hall for a blood transfusion,” David replies grimly.

Liam glances back into the hallway, and then looks back with a sharp nod. He runs his fingers down Theo’s cheek one last time before he finally gets up, walking backwards and peering around the doorframe.

“More are coming around the corner,” Liam says, looking back at them. “I can cover you, but you’ll have to move fast.”

Jenna takes Theo’s legs, while David hoists up his shoulders, and together, they manage to make it out of the closet.

Liam's face is stoic and battle ready, and it makes Jenna's blood run cold in her veins.

"Li, _don't,"_ Theo whispers, just as they clear the doorframe. "Don't. Not for _me_. You _know_ you'll regret it."

"Shut up, Theo," Liam replies, not even looking back at him as he keeps his eyes trained at the other end of the hallway, where the shadows are drawing closer and closer.

" _Liam_ ," Theo persists. "Come on. What three things?"

"He's bleeding out," Liam says to David, ignoring Theo completely. "You should go now."

"Don't you _dare_ ignore me right now," Theo hisses furiously. "I'm _right_ , you _know_ I'm right. _What three things?_ "

"We're not just going to _leave you here,"_ Jenna suddenly blurts, realizing _that's_ what Liam meant, for them to leave him here to fight for his life on his own while they sought shelter across the hall. Like she was going to use her _son_ as a shield.

Liam shoots her a wry smile. "I've been doing this for a long time, Mom," he says.

There's something so terribly _old_ in his voice, that Jenna can't even begin to pick apart the implications of _that_ statement, just as she can't bring herself to look too hard at the black-clad bodies littering the sides of the hospital hallway, at the way Liam's limping slightly.

She's not sure that she should be _relieved_ that most of the blood congealed on Liam's body seems to belong to _other_ people, but _god_ , she _is._

"Do _not_ get cocky when I'm not here to watch your six," Theo snaps, his pained expression twisted into a worried one as he leans toward Liam in an unconscious maneuver that almost topples him from their arms completely. "And don't you _dare--"_

"Of _course_ not," Liam says, rolling his eyes, even as the corner of his mouth quirks up. "Didn't we already have this conversation?" he asks, before reaching behind him and retrieving the large axe strapped to his back. The one that Jenna was too panicked to even register until this moment, when he's shifting it around in his hands, swinging it deftly around one wrist with a heartbreakingly _practiced_ kind of precision, tossing it up in the air and catching it as it swings back down, without even looking, without even _straining_ himself, despite the fact that the axe head is bigger than his head. "Don't worry, I'm still not dying for you."

Theo slumps a little in their hold, relaxing, as Liam easily swings the axe into his other hand, wrist twisting gracefully. "What three things?"

Liam's face softens in their direction, just as the first man comes around the corner. "The sun, the moon, the truth," he finally relents, whispering quickly and quietly, before dropping a kiss on Theo's forehead, and then hissing, " _go, go, go!"_

It's mostly a blur after that, between putting the needles into Theo's body and _jolting_ every time she hears a gunshot in the hallway. She remembers David having to rescicitate him once, after he flatlined.

She remembers Liam when he was done, the hospital hallway quiet, and the way he trudged in, limping. She remembers Liam's scarlet-tipped axe, the red of the blood almost _offensively_ bright against the dull hallway, strapped against his back again, the new bruises on his face, the way his hair is matted to his head on the side, from sweat or blood or grime or something else entirely. She remembers the way he said absolutely nothing, just sank down in the chair, grabbed one of Theo's hands with both of his own, and pressed their hands to his lips. She tried talking to him, and so did David, but he was nearly unresponsive, eyes glazed over as he clutched Theo's hand like a lifeline.

 _He loves you_ , Theo had said to her in the closet, and Jenna can't help but feel _grateful_ that he survived, because Jenna had only met him _today_ , but in the short time she's known him and heard Liam absentmindedly mention him here and there, she'd realized, _oh._ She'd realized, _he loves you too._

The hospital is unnervingly quiet afterwards and so is Liam as David finally cajoles him into treating his wounds. Liam puts up with thirty minutes of fussing, before he finally slips from their clutches, calls Scott, speaking over the phone in short, one-word answers, before returning back to Theo's room, slipping into his bed and falling asleep next to him, head pressed against Theo's good shoulder, their fingers tangled together.

Liam had found out he was homeless three days later, had dragged him to the Geyer house, and the rest, as they say, is _history._ )

 _You can't possibly want me here_ , Theo had said, like it was a _challenge_ , the bass in his voice and the set of his shoulders absolutely _screaming 'stay away, stay away, stay away'_ and so Jenna stepped closer, and set her jaw, mulish, and replied: _Too bad. I do_.

Theo's voice says _stay away_ but Jenna steps closer. This is a very old story.

Jenna grabs Theo by the arm and turns him around, so that he's facing _her_ instead of the kitchen wall, and--

"Oh, _honey_ , you're _bleeding,"_ she blurts, quickly rifling through a drawer and getting the first aid kit out, tearing the wrapper of an alcohol swab open. "Why didn't you _say_ anything?"

Theo eyes the stream of blood dripping steadily from the cut in his hand like it's foreign to him. "I didn't notice," he replies blankly, and she just silently cleans the place where his skin splits open, before applying some antiseptic cream and wrapping it in a bandage.

"Don't try and make it--" Theo finally says, quietly, "make _us_ ," he amends, "into something we're _not._ Liam doesn't--" he tries, before dragging in a sharp inhale. "I'm not-- He _wouldn't--_ " Theo says, starting sentences and then almost _immediately_ swallowing them after, like he thought better of voicing them aloud, but that last one hangs in the air. _He wouldn't._ "Not for me," Theo finishes, not meeting her eyes, and she squeezes his hand sympathetically, unable to voice the _he loves you, I know he does, I'm not sure what he's doing, I'm not sure of a lot of things, but I'm sure of_ that.

"He'd try with just about anyone else," Theo says, ducking his head. "He _has_ tried, with just about everyone else," he revises. "At some point, I have to wonder if _I'm_ the problem."

"Theo, _no,"_ Jenna replies immediately, gripping at his shoulders and looking him straight in the eye, " _no,_ there's _nothing wrong_ with you, do you hear me? Absolutely _nothing._ "

"Ma," he says, shaking his head, "it's _fine._ I can handle rejection like a big boy. I'm moving on and everything. Got a boyfriend back at school. Me and Liam are _friends_ , and we haven't gotten sick of each other yet, living in each other's pockets. I'm _fine."_

"Are you?" Jenna can't help but ask, as gently as she knows how, and she's surprised when Theo doesn't snap, he just _sags._

"I will be," he manages, voice raspy, eyes looking a little too wet for her liking. "Eventually."

"You _will_ be," Jenna promises, kissing him on the temple. "But in the meantime, if you ever need to talk . . ."

He doesn't say anything in response, but she didn't expect him to.

"How bad does it hurt right now?" she asks quietly.

"I'm _fine,_ Ma," he says, shrugging out of her embrace and turning back to the potatoes, scraping the bloody ones into the trash. They chop in silence for a few minutes, before he finally answers, just _barely_ loud enough for her to hear: "Really, really bad. Really _fucking_ bad."

And if Theo avoids her gaze for long enough, relaxes his tensing shoulders deliberately enough, fakes the nonchalance in his tone well enough, it's almost like they're talking about the bandaged wound on his arm instead of the split through his heart.

\------

Christmas goes well, but things get a little harder for Liam and Hayden after that.

For one, Hayden has _double_ her previous course load, and all her classes at USC are piled into morning and afternoon slots, while Liam's history lectures have doubled in duration, taking up entire evenings. There's barely an hour or two per week where their free times intersect and they can actually _do_ something.

On a week lucky enough that they have almost the whole night to themselves, Hayden proposes a date night.

"Really?" Liam asks skeptically. "We have the whole night to _ourselves_ , my roommate is out, and you want to go see a _movie?"_ Liam wrinkles his nose.

Hayden flips her hair, mock-affronted. "If you keep resisting," she says airily, "I might think you're only with me for my body."

Liam laughs, wrapping his hands around her waist from behind and kissing her cheek. "On our second date, you literally _ordered me_ to wear those jeans. The ones you like."

She turns around in his arms, hands sliding lower to rest on his ass, before leaning in to murmur, "What can I say? I know what I want. And besides," she says, expression finally cracking into a wide grin as she playfully slaps him on the bottom, "I _told_ you half the reason I was dating you was _because_ of your ass." She laughs. "You knew what you were getting into."

\---

They bump into him in the line for popcorn, and Liam blurts, unthinking, "What are you _doing_ here?"

Theo stares at him like he's grown a second head. "It's a _Marvel movie_ , weirdo. You _know_ I've been waiting to see it for _months._ What are _you_ doing here?"

 _Date night_ , Liam's about to say, but before he can open his mouth to respond, he's being interrupted by a voice, smooth and self-assured, calling out, "There you are, T, thought I lost you."

Brett the Asshole walks up to them, slinging a careless arm around Theo's neck, leaning against him lazily and surveying Liam with an unimpressed eye. " _You_ again," he says, in a tone that makes Liam absolutely _bristle_. "Are you lost? Toy Story 4 is playing on the _other_ side of the theatre."

Liam doesn't take a swing at his stupid tall face, mostly because Hayden's fingers are laced with his own, and she grips his hand _tighter_ when he takes a threatening step forward.

There's something Liam doesn't like about the look in Brett the Asshole's eye, the possessive hand around his neck, the way he's leaning into Theo like it's physically impossible for him to not be touching him. Theo has a _boyfriend_ , for god's sake.

"Why didn't you bring _Josh?"_ Liam snaps, with more bite in his tone than he _meant_ to and both Theo _and_ Hayden's eyebrows creep into their hairline.

" _What is wrong with you?"_ Hayden hisses, under her breath, and Liam winces inwardly, because _yeah_ , probably not the best approach to take.

"He's a DC boy," Brett says, wrinkling his nose. "He turned us both down. Now _imagine_ my surprise, when I found out our very own Theo Raeken was a _Marvel_ fanboy." Brett ruffles his hair playfully, and Theo snorts, ducking out of his reach with a quick middle-finger salute, and stepping forward in the popcorn line, but _"our Theo"_ rings in Liam's ears violently, and he doesn't snap out of it until he feels Hayden _shaking_ him.

When he comes to, his fingers have punched holes in the drink cup, Coke leaking out of it, onto his hand, and pouring onto the floor.

"What," Hayden says, wide-eyed, "the _fuck?"_

Theo turns around, takes in the Coke spilling onto his fingers, mutters, "Oh, Jesus Christ, let's get you cleaned up," turns to Brett, calls out, "Hey, B? Get me some M&M's and a shake, would'ya?" and Brett responds with a sloppy salute while Theo ushers Liam into a nearby bathroom.

\---

"I don't get why you're so _mad,"_ Theo says, _clearly_ trying not to laugh as he dabs at the Coke stain on Liam's shirt, but it just makes Liam sheepish instead of fucking _pissed_ the way it probably would with anyone else. "You _love_ Toy Story. You made me marathon it, like, two months ago."

"Yeah, _well,"_ Liam replies, disgruntled, because it was the _principle_ of the thing, and Theo finally loses his grip on the inside of his cheek, snickering quietly as he balls the napkins up and Liam can't help but smile helplessly back, the corner of his mouth quirking up without his consent.

"Brett's not that bad, I swear," Theo says, tossing the tissues into the trash can. " _Behave_."

 _I will if he will_ , Liam doesn't say, but Theo hears it anyways, going by his unimpressed expression, so Liam allows himself one, dramatic conciliatory sigh, before he finally relents.

"You excited?" Liam asks. "You've been waiting to see this one since it _came out."_

"I feel like my heart's going to beat out of my chest," Theo admits, and Liam shakes his head, laughing quietly, before he links their fingers together and drags them both out of the bathroom.

\---

Hayden's eyes are absolutely _riveted_ to the screen, and they're not at the stage where they're comfortable sharing their bad habits with each other yet, so instead, he leans into Theo, who he has reliably been pestering for the last four years, and who hasn't snapped and killed him yet.

"Who's that?" Liam whispers.

"Tony Stark," Theo says out of the corner of his mouth, without even turning to face him.

"Oh," Liam says. "I still don't know who that is."

Brett and Hayden shush him simultaneously, from opposite sides of Liam and Theo, but Theo just quirks a small smile, indulgent.

"You're such a mess," Theo whispers back, and then, shaking his head: "Rich guy, reformed war-profiteer, Iron Man. Billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist."

Liam deliberates for a second.

"Okay, fuck him," Liam finally says. "I hate rich people."

Theo snorts. Hayden looks vaguely offended. Brett somehow smacks him upside the head from Theo's other side, with one of his weirdly long limbs.

\---

"Who's that?" Liam whispers again, a couple minutes later, but Theo's staring.

Brett snorts. "The love of Theo's life."

"Shut _up,"_ Theo hisses, wringing his hands together. "Oh my _god_ , he has a _beard._ He's wearing all black. I don't know what to do with myself."

" _Really?"_ Hayden asks skeptically. "Captain America? Wouldn't have pegged you as the type."

"I'm gonna pass out," Theo says, sounding faint.

Someone behind them shushes them loudly, and Brett aims a Milk Dud vaguely in their direction, resulting in a soft _plunk_ , like it fell into liquid, immediately followed by a surprised, harassed cry.

\---

Thor forges a battle axe with the power of a star, and Theo makes the most pained, strangled noise Liam has ever _heard_ when he watches him swing it around.

"What?" Liam asks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Theo says, voice cracking, as he sinks lower and lower into his seat.

\---

It takes exactly two minutes of the fight sequence for Liam to start getting annoyed.

"Okay, that's not even how you _swing it_ ," he snaps, watching Thor swing around a literal _battle axe_ like it's a fucking yo-yo or something.

Hayden snorts, shooting him a weird look. "How would _you_ know?"

And that's the million dollar question, isn't it? Because no matter how much he felt like they were getting closer, how close is close enough to tell her the truth about his past? About _their_ past? About how Liam still dreams about Theo bleeding out in a hospital hallway, begging Liam not to take someone's head off with the blade of his axe, _what three things cannot long be hidden,_ about how Theo sleeps with a loaded gun under his pillow, and _lives_ with a gun constantly strapped to his ankle, for emergencies, (even though Liam's not supposed to know that), about the fake IDs they have stashed under a loose corner of carpet that they peel back, in case it all ever catches up with them, _all_ of them -- Mason, Corey, Liam, Theo. Four fake-IDs and a fuckton of falsified government documents, throwing knives stashed inside the flowerpot in the living room, surgical implements in their first-aid kit, constant daily texted updates for safety, Liam's axe wrapped in fabric and stashed in the back of his closet, regularly oiled and sharpened.

The fact that Theo doesn't know every single inch of the human body because he's a _pre-med_ student, it's because he knows the exact pressure it takes on the neck of a man to make him _talk_ and the exact pressure it takes to _break it_. His hands aren't steady under pressure just because he can maintain a cool head-- it's because hands _have_ to be steady as they line up a shot, and Theo is the _best fucking shot_ he's ever seen, quick and ruthless. Liam has never seen him miss.

The fact that Corey isn't good at sitting still and being quiet just because he's lost in his head, it's because it used to be his _job --_ sitting on high rooftops, perfectly still, quiet as a mouse, the scope of his long-range weapon lined up until someone finally told him to take the shot. Perfectly invisible, a complete surprise. He isn't graceful and all-too-aware of his limbs because of all the dancing he does, it's because of the amount of time he's spent sneaking in and out of compounds, scaling walls and slinking in the shadows and avoiding security systems as they tried to amass information.

The way Mason isn't freakishly good at baseball because he's been hiding athletic abilities behind that nerd exterior, it's because he's had _far_ too much practice inflicting the maximum amount of damage with a second-hand aluminum baseball bat. He doesn't have the pathological need to know everything because he's _smart_ , smart is an understatement when it comes to Mason. He needs to know everything, at all times, because it was his _job_ , he was the playmaker -- the one who knew where all the players were at all times, who put the pieces into place, like a master puppeteer. Their lives were in his hands.

The way that Liam doesn't avoid the kitchen because he's _lazy_ or _clumsy_ or _bad with knives_ , or whatever people have thought over the years. It's because he's too _good_ with them, it's because he can spin a blade over his fingers with his eyes closed and hit a target within his sightline with nothing but a well-balanced throwing knife. It's because his axe served like an extended limb to him, brutal and vicious and beautifully graceful in the way it arced through their air, perfectly aerodynamic as it cut through a crowd of assailants gunning for Liam. He's _too_ god with them, so good that he can still remember the blood-rusted tip of his axe and the sharp, precise, glint of a good knife under shitty warehouse lighting. Liam isn't adept at battle strategy because he's a history major, it's because he was their _strategist_ , planning sieges and takeovers as they tried to reclaim important territory that Monroe's cult had captured.

The way that Liam and Theo don't move around each other they way they _do_ , like one being split into two, because they're good friends or roommates, or _whatever_ , it's because they're something else entirely, something Liam has never found the word to describe. It's been years, but Liam still can't put into words the sheer _power_ of swinging his axe through the air, Theo at his six, taking down weaponized lunatics, one by one. The swing of Liam's axe, the muted shots of Theo's gun, Liam and Theo pressed back-to-back, taking down an army all by themselves.

How is he meant to do that? Explain that to _anyone?_ Explain the real reason Mason's nickname became "the Beast", after dealings with the seedy underground crime network of central California in order to obtain resources. Explain the true story behind the electrical burn scars that run up and down Theo's beautiful, pale forearms -- the ones Liam used to spend _hours_ running his lips over, gripping Theo by the wrist and kissing up the sprawling marks, and back down slowly, until he was finally satisfied with his work, no words exchanged between them as the sirens rang, loud and piercing outside, and Liam lovingly laved his tongue over the marked arms of a boy he would die for, would _kill_ for. The reason why Corey can disappear in a crowded room so easily. The stories behind the _horrifically_ , _hilariously_ dark jokes Nolan favors, like how he likes to laugh about the time Liam and Theo played decoys at the abandoned zoo, and he was still under Monroe's control and Liam almost gutted him like a fish before Theo could talk him down. _Really_ likes to laugh about the time Theo found out what he pulled at the school with Gabe and all the rest of Monroe's brainwashed, underaged cronies, saw the bruises on Liam's face and heard the story from Mason and Corey and snuck into his house in the dark of night, broke four of his fingers, and shoved the barrel of a gun down his throat, eyes flat and cold. Really, _really_ likes to laugh about how _that_ was when he defected, showing Liam the secret entrance to the hospital and escaping from under Monroe's control and turning the tides of the war.

(The four of them have established something of a ritual, well-worn and well-loved. Once a month, Liam retrieves his axe from the closet, oils it so that it doesn't rust, and sharpens it carefully and precisely. Theo sits at the breakfast table and oils the barrel of his gun, and then spends the rest of the day disassembling and reassembling his gun, over and over and over again, without even looking, muscle memory taking over, until he feels calmer, pieces sliding into place with metallic _clicks_ as he chews on his lip. Mason takes over the armchair in the corner and finally indulges in his research whims, contacts the people he needs to -- the people he's not _supposed_ to. Corey sits on the balcony and people-watches for hours, much higher than the bustle of the street and untouchable, and they leave him to bask in the quiet for the entire day.)

The way all four of them are one-hundred different kinds of fucked up, and their friends and family back home are no different. Scott can't sleep until he gets an _"All good"_ text from all of them. Liam pilfered about half of Kira's knives during the war, bust she still has more than enough, and keeps her sword, proudly displayed and fully operational, mounted above the mantle at her and Malia's place. The way Stiles is still half-obsessively making crime boards about Monroe's people’s whereabouts, even after reports surfaced that her body was discovered at an arms storage facility near Tijuana.

(An Argent facility, the newspapers said, and everyone in Beacon Hills knew what that meant. One of _them_ had finally killed her, one of the inner circle. One of Scott McCall's vigilante children, with their scars and battle-hardened bones and unwillingness to give up and give in. No one ever fessed up, not even to each other. Liam would die for these people, but to this day, even _he_ doesn't know who killed Monroe.)

Lydia's still sharp of mind, sharp of aim, and Liam _knows_ she still has her crossbow. He knows the communications she sends through the underground networks, to smother the last of Monroe's mess, stretch far and wide, devastating in their impact, like a powerful scream.

Theo's knee nudges his lightly, knocking him out of his trance, and Theo's fingers are wrapped firmly around Liam's wrist, _grounding._ A small worried line between his brows that Liam can see, even in the dark of the theatre. A tree is talking on the screen.

"You can complain about his wristwork," Theo offers quietly, whispering into his ear, a soft smile working at the edge of his mouth, and Liam is so _painfully_ grateful for him, for meeting him, for _knowing him_ like _this_ , knowing the curve of his smile and the strength in his fingers and the cadence of his voice even _better_ than Liam knows the back of his own hand, that he _aches,_ deep inside. "I _know_ you want to."

He's right.

Liam manages to push everything else from his mind as he focuses on the movements on-screen, axe flying through the air in increasingly improbable and inappropriate ways that irritate Liam, and Theo listens along, nodding indulgently.

\---

The movie ends with the heroes losing. The villain successfully commits genocide, for the sake of the "greater good" and everyone else slowly watches their friends die right in front of them.

There's a lump around Liam's throat that he can't quite swallow down, and Theo has gone completely rigid in his seat next to him.

Liam watches the people who decided to stand their ground and _fight_ die in each other's arms, and all he can see is Theo, clutched desperately against his Mom's body, bleeding out in a hospital supply closet. Scott almost losing his life as Melissa dug through his shoulder below an underpass. Beefy hands wrapped around Lydia's neck as she screamed and screamed and screamed. A bullet in Malia's shoulder. Stiles running for his _life_ in the dark high school library. Mason and Theo, injured and bleeding in the underground tunnels. Corey getting his hand stabbed at the high school and having to hide before they could discover him, and how it took them _days_ to finally find him and retrieve him from a nook hidden in the library. Half of the people he loves dying of poisoning, struggling for air, sprawled across the floor of the Hale vault under the school, the blood they coughed up the wrong color. A man pouring gasoline on him, waving a lighter around threateningly. The sling his Mom's arm was in for months, when he let the fighting get too close to home, and she got between Liam and a man twice his size, protective.

"You okay?" Hayden whispers, squeezing his hand, and Liam doesn't know how to tell her, _No. Not at all._ Doesn't know how to tell her anything, really.

He opens his mouth and nothing comes out. His throat is dry and his heart is beating too fast and he's _shaking_ , he can _feel himself_ shaking, and he can't hear anything except Theo's voice, his fight-or-flight reflexes are conditioned to pick up Theo's voice, to recognize it, to _listen_ , even when the rest of his body is freezing up, but even _that_ sounds like it's coming from underwater.

He blinks slowly, even as his vision blurs, the credits are rolling and he can't even read them, and then he blinks again, and he's home, Theo in his lap, his hands cradling Liam's face, saying his name with the cadence of someone who's being saying it for a _while._

"Hey, sweetheart," Theo says, straightening up as Liam blinks at him. "You with me, Liam?"

"Yeah," Liam replies, and his voice cracks horribly, splitting right down the middle. "I'm with you."

"Okay," Theo says, thumbs brushing across Liam's face, soothing in a way that leeches the tension from Liam's shoulders a little, settles the nauseous churning of his stomach. "Okay, good."

"What happened?" Liam asks, turning into the warmth of Theo's broad palms.

Theo's brows furrow, and Liam reaches up to smooth the wrinkle away, running his thumb down the middle of his brows until he stops making that stupid concerned face that makes Liam's heart beat in his throat. "You blacked out?"

 _Sorry,_ he almost says, but he knows it wouldn't be appreciated, knows it would just bring that line back between his brows, even if Theo _did_ hold him tighter.

"Yeah," Liam says instead, and the only part of his body that doesn't feel numb is Theo settled in his lap, Theo's hands stroking down his face and carding through his hair. He's pretty sure numbness is associated with feeling cold, but all Liam feels is _warm._

"I told Brett and Hayden you weren't feeling well," Theo explains quietly. "Took you home."

"Oh," Liam says nonsensically, and Theo leans in to kiss him on the temple, before pulling back.

"You want some water?" Theo asks, moving to climb off of Liam, and Liam, not for the first time, acts without thinking, arms wrapping tightly around Theo's waist as a pathetically panicked, " _No!_ " escapes his mouth, and Theo settles back down, visibly worried.

"Okay," he says again, reassuring, hands smoothing down Liam's shirt by his shoulders, "no problem, it's all good, we can just stay like this. For as long as you need, okay? But, I'm calling them."

Liam drags Theo closer, until their bodies are pressed flush against one another, and buries his nose in the crook of Theo's neck. "Okay," Liam says, voice small, feeling even _smaller._

Theo fishes his phone out of his back pocket and Liam hears him calling, hears him talking, but he filters it all out. Theo smells comforting and familiar and Liam drags in greedy inhales of the skin of Theo's neck, fingers spasming where their gripping Theo's hips, and Theo absently drops kisses on the crown of Liam's head.

He doesn't notice Mason and Corey come in, but they must use their own keys, because Theo, true to his promise, doesn't get up.

The next thing Liam knows, there's something mindless playing on the TV. Theo in his lap, Mason pressed flush against his side, gripping his hand, and Corey sitting on the floor, back warm against Liam's legs.

The last of the numbness ebbs away, as the comfort and safety and _familiarity_ replaces it, all of them warm and safe and _here_. Alive.

"Are you okay?" Theo asks quietly, and the only indication that the other two have heard is the way Mason squeezes his hand reassuringly, the way Corey presses his back _harder_ into Liam's legs, solid and grounding.

There's a brief pause, in which Liam thinks about it. _Really_ thinks about it.

"No," he finally says. "Not at all."

Liam's not okay yet, but here, blanketed by warmth, by _safety_ , by Theo and Mason and Corey, by _home,_ he thinks he _could be_.

He thinks he _will_ be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the war has had many consequences including giving all of them ✨ trama ✨, granting Theo a battle axe kink, and gifting Liam with a slight obsession with Theo’s firearms and forearms.
> 
> wow, okay, how was THAT!! this beacon hills human au backstory has to be one of my FAVORITE things that i've ever written, jesus fucking christ. I can't explain why, but I had SUCH a good time writing this, wow. I really hoped you liked it!!
> 
> Tell me what you liked, what you didn't!! As always, all feedback is welcomed and highly appreciated :)  
> If you want to come scream at me on tumblr, feel free to find me at [inabottlelikelightning](https://www.inabottlelikelightning.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, I'm sure y'all are sick of me changing my mind about the chapter count on this (but hopefully kind of happy because more chapters mean more story?) but I think I've really got the estimate down this time. the estimates being off is mostly because NONE of the war flashbacks are planned out, but they just flow so well I can't stop. anyways, we are finally living up to our rating in this chapter :D
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

"I don't know," Hayden says, wringing her fingers a bit, where they lace together around her soda can. "I mean we don't _have_ to, but we didn't do anything for our one-month, either, 'cause it was around Christmas, and we don't really get much free time these days, so--"

"Okay," Liam says, lips flickering up.

"Okay?"

" _Okay,"_ he repeats, laughing, taking her hand in his and squeezing, reassuring. "So, two month anniversary this weekend. We can _totally_ go out."

"Can't _wait_ ," Hayden says, before curling her fingers around his jaw and pulling him in.

\---

Liam doesn't stay the night, because he has lacrosse conditioning early the next morning, and also because he kind of wants some of Theo's hot chocolate before he goes to sleep. The closest thing Hayden has is Hershey syrup and almond milk, and _neither_ of them possess the ability to make things that people actually _want_ to eat.

Liam twists his key in the lock to their apartment, opens the door, and it takes him a solid second to realize what's happening.

" _Oh my god!"_ he screams, swiveling around so quickly that he almost _falls over_ and covering his eyes, but it doesn't help the afterimage burned into his retinas of Theo spread out on the couch like a fucking _buffet_ , Josh's head between his thighs, bobbing steadily. Theo's hand tangled in his hair, Theo's head thrown back, gasping. The flush burning steady under Theo's skin, Josh's fingers spasming where they're gripping his thick thighs, spreading him out all flushed and pretty against their couch, like Liam's not going to be thinking about that for rest of his life.

Liam swallows.

"Sorry," Theo gasps out from behind him, probably breathier than he intended, and Liam feels his head spinning. He hears the ruffling of clothes, and, "sorry, just give us a sec."

" _No!"_ Liam yells, suddenly, feeling bad, even as his face _flames_. "No, Jesus, _I'm_ sorry, I said I was going to be out all night. I'll just--"

He motions, vaguely to his room, as well as he can manage with one hand still covering his eyes.

"You can, uh. Carry on," he says, face feeling hot as his voice cracks painfully. "Finish up," he says, without thinking about it, and then almost _immediately_ groans inwardly.

"Uh," Theo manages, voice like _gravel_ , and Liam has to bite down on his lip _hard_ , lest any incriminating sounds escape. "Are-- are you _sure?"_

"Yep," Liam replies airily, already making his way to his bedroom with his back turned to the living room, eyes still clamped shut, feeling his way around with his hands on the wall. "Yeah, totally, don't mind me, I'll just be in--" he finally reaches the doorway to his bedroom, waving a hand inwards, "--here."

Liam's bedroom door slams shut with a _thud_ , and he _immediately_ leans into it with a relieved sigh, heart in his throat.

"Shit," Liam lets out, heaving a heavy sigh, and then, a _heavier_ one when he looks down. It's a good thing he stayed turned away from them the entire time, because there it is, the rock solid evidence. Literally, because Liam's hard in his pants, and he has never felt lower. " _Shit,"_ he repeats, just as Theo moans the same thing in the living room, and Liam's eyes slide shut in self-recrimination as he presses the heel of his hand to his crotch, because it's _one_ thing to just think about it, and _another_ to actually be _listening_ , but Theo's groaning, " _God_ , your mouth feels so _good,"_ and he's talking to someone else, and Liam should probably feel more upset about that, feel _angry_ that it's someone else's throat swallowing him down and someone else's lips leaving marks all over his pretty skin, and he _will_ , probably, _later_ , but right now, all Liam can hear is _Theo_.

" _Just_ ," Theo moans, "like _that_ ," and Liam makes a valiant attempt at not actually doing what he's _pretty sure_ he's about to do, but then Theo moans again, higher, helpless, and Liam is stroking himself through his jeans before he can stop himself.

He's not thinking about Josh or Hayden or anyone else right now. He's just thinking about _Theo_ , mouth bitten red, head thrown back as he tries to bite back his noises, and Liam feels his _own_ head _thunk_ back against the door, biting down so hard on his lower lip he thinks it might _bleed_ , as pleasure spreads quick and guilty through his veins. He hears some harsh panting, Theo's hissed, _"Yes,"_ and Liam’s fingers move faster.

" _Have to--"_ Theo gasps out, " _Have to be quiet,"_ he says. " _Liam's--"_ he stops on a moan, " _fuck_ , Liam _,"_ he tries again, stopped by another, louder moan. "Liam's _right there."_

Liam is only a man, and the love of his life is out there, moaning his name. Really, there's only so much he can do.

Theo gets _louder_ , suddenly, _much_ louder than before, the pitch of his gasps shocky and desperate and Liam barely has the presence of mind to lick a wet stripe up his palm before he closes his fingers around his length, hissing when his cold hand meets hot skin, and jacking himself slow and thorough with not _nearly_ enough slick, and it _hurts_ , but it's so fucking _good_ that Liam has to bite down on a knuckle just to stay quiet.

Theo spread out like that, all pretty and relaxed, letting Liam take care of him. Theo's hands in his hair, gripping tight as he fucks up into Liam's mouth, and Liam _lets him_ , because this is for _him_ , he _wants_ him to feel good, _wants_ him to seek his own pleasure by letting the head of his cock hit the back of Liam's throat again and again and again until his thighs are flushed and trembling, eyes unfocused as he works his hips up into Liam's throat, making all the pretty noises that he's out there making right now while Liam swallows around his length and watches him lose his mind.

" _Close_ ," Theo groans, suddenly. "I'm-- _fuck,_ I'm _close."_

Liam's grip tightens, involuntarily, wrapped around his cock with a harder grip as he pulls hand up, slow and firm. But his self-control is stretched thin, it's taking _all_ of it to not just stuff his fingers into his mouth and down his throat. Suddenly, Liam can't do _slow_ anymore, he _needs_ to come, running his thumb over the leaking tip, biting down on another knuckle as a strangled groan leaks out, before moving his hand back down and working the rest of his cock _furiously._

Theo's thighs were spread apart when Liam walked in, held in place, and Liam would _love_ to do that, love to hold him down and sink his fingers into the muscle and suck Theo's brain out through his dick, but what he would love _more_ is to _feel_ them. Liam wouldn’t hold them down, because there is _literally_ nothing in this world that he wants more than to feel Theo's thighs clamped around his head, muscles fluttering desperately as Liam gets to making him feel so good that he forgets himself, forgets his _own_ name, but remembers _Liam's_ , because it's what he's crying out, forgets the sheer _power_ underneath that skin, so lost in his own pleasure that Liam's lips around his cock make him forget that he could probably crush his skull between his thighs, and Liam feels _hot_ and _dizzy_ , his own cock flushed a deep red and leaking desperately in his hand as he rubs himself _raw_ , panting _hard_ against the fingers clamped between his teeth.

 _Shit_ , Liam thinks, as he works himself to the edge, heat pooling low and sweet in his belly, every rough stroke sending him higher and higher, feverish and flushed and throbbing, biting down so _hard_ he thinks he breaks skin, and when he twists his wrist on the upstroke, he almost loses his balance completely, knees buckling as the edges of his vision blur, and he shouldn't be doing this, this is _horrible_ , and the shame and guilt _definitely_ shouldn't be fanning the flames hotter, shouldn't be making him rip his teeth from the meat of his knuckles and pant open-mouthed instead, sucking in air to make his head stop spinning, but he can't stop his hips from fucking into his hand, can't stop the pad of his thumb from running over his sensitive slit and can't help the whine that escapes. _Shit, shit, shit._

Theo finally comes with a loud, choked-off moan, muffled through the door, but also muffled like Liam already has Theo's thighs wrapped around his head, clenching and flexing and covering his ears, and Liam wishes he could feel Theo coming down his throat, feel his cock jerk and flex inside Liam's mouth, taste Theo spilling across his tongue, feel his fingers digging into his scalp and his moans vibrating through his body, but _this_ \--

This is good enough, and Liam can barely even blink the sweat out of his eyes before he's _hurtling_ over the edge, spilling suddenly across his fingers with a low, wounded noise, and Theo would take Liam's face in his hands afterwards and kiss him all deep and thorough and lick the taste of himself out of Liam's mouth, eyes bright, hair soft and messy, relaxed and happy, the corner of his mouth quirked up, and he'd brush the hair out of Liam's eyes and look at him all _soft_ \-- look at him like he _loves_ him -- and Liam can't even keep his eyes open, eyelids fluttering shut, eyes rolling all the way to the back of his head as he fists himself through it and spills _more_ , _harder_ , and _shit, shit, shit._

Liam's knees finally give in as he comes down, slumping against the wall and sliding down to the floor, dazed, come cooling on his fingers and stomach and thighs, feeling disgusting in more ways than one.

_Shit._

\---

The war ended in the spring. By then, the government had finally _done something_ as far as anyone had _expected_ them to come through, and it was extremely difficult to get _in_ or _out_ of the town through the blockade they set up at the borders.

 _Controlled mass hysteria_ , was what Mason called it.

Liam was warm and comfortable, Theo gently massaging his sore, twinging wrist, the one on his swinging hand. But the words make his blood run cold in his veins.

 _They're waiting for someone to win,_ Theo had replied, immediately, sitting up from where he was slumped against Liam's chest. _They're waiting for one of us to take care of the other._

Mason didn't reply, which was as good as a concession in and of itself.

 _Shit_ , Corey said, from the corner, the circles under his eyes standing stark against the pale of his skin under the fluorescents of the damp, cold basement. _They're choking us, that's what they're doing. They're wrapped around us, constricting the flow of supplies, cutting off our goddamn_ airflow--

 _So, we have no choice_ , Liam said, dragging Theo back in, warm and solid against his chest, and hooking his chin over Theo's shoulder. _No one's going to help. It’s just us. We win, or die trying._

 _Win, or die trying_ , Theo echoed, lacing their fingers together, and Liam squeezed back, dropping his face into Theo's broad shoulder. _God, what the fuck_ , Theo sighed.

 _Win, or die trying_ , Corey murmured, and Mason finally looked up from the screen of his ramshackle laptop, thrown together with shaky, blood-stained fingers, held together with nothing but a prayer and copious amounts of electrical tape.

 _Win_ , Mason said, furious _. Win, or nothing. We win._

The basement was where the four of them had set up camp for the past several months, after Monroe's people started their house visits. The original house plan blueprints of the Hewitt's doesn't list the basement, it was an external modification added _years_ later-- a simple oversight that's half the reason the four of them have lived this long.

Everyone else was scattered, more or less, but this was their base. Mason had all the research and resources, no one could get anything without Corey, and Liam and Theo, were, well.

Liam and Theo.

That night, Monroe was holding a rally on the other side of town. Those who hadn't already joined her were scared enough to the point where they were _seriously_ considering it. The only bright side was that it meant that the forces monitoring the west side of town would be negligible.

Scott and company snuck into the Hewitt's under the cover of night from the back of the house, hidden inside a garbage truck driven by a disguised Deputy Parrish. Monroe's people on the other side of town meant that this night would be _another_ strategy night where they talked about things like _collateral damage_ and _justifiable homicide_ and acted like they weren't just teenagers dressing up and playing hero in a conflict that had nothing to do with them.

There's a cot in the corner of the basement, where the four of them tend to pile in at night to stay warm. The stockiness of Liam’s frame and the breadth of Theo's shoulders make it a tight squeeze but they mostly just end up on top of each other, Mason sleeps like the dead, and Corey can fit into any corner or crevice that he tries, so it works out fine.

Liam's tired and should probably go sink into the mattress for a nap instead of the unforgiving basement wall, but Theo is pressed up against his chest, their legs tangled together, and Liam feels warm and safe and comfortable in a way that's difficult to come by these days, and despite his best intentions, he falls asleep to Mason and Corey's quiet murmurs, Theo tapping an absentminded rhythm against Liam's chest, covering him like a _blanket_ , the sirens outside.

He doesn't dream, which is a blessing, but when he wakes up, it's to _yelling._

He cracks one eye open, sees Stiles's angry flailing, hears a yelled, "--bleeding us _dry_ , Scotty, do you understand that?", and closes the eye again, turning his head to hide a yawn in Theo's neck.

"—trying their _best,_ Stiles, they can't _risk_ — _"_

"I don't give a rat's _ass_ what they _can_ and _can't_ risk. They're asking _us_ to risk our _lives_ — _"_

"They have a _responsibility,"_ Kira says, unapologetic. "They have a _responsibility_ to _protect_ — _"_

"—the bare minimum, that's what they're doing, and they think they can get away with—"

"Awake?" Theo whispers, low enough that Liam knows it's meant just for him and Liam hums a confirmation, pressing his forehead down into the warm skin between Theo's shoulder and neck.

"Wish I wasn't," Liam mumbles, as the volume of the argument increases further, and Theo snorts.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, sleeping beauty," Theo coos, and Liam nuzzles harder into his warm neck with a mumbled, " _Aw, you think m'beautiful?"_ because it makes Theo's eyes roll even _harder_ than the obligatory _"fuck off."_

"Hungry?" Theo asks, and Liam cracks open an eye again to see the electric hot plate sitting in front of them, unplugged, a sealed can of ravioli sitting on top, and Liam _jolts._

"Is that—?"

"Yeah," Theo says, sounding more smug than Liam is comfortable with, but Liam can't even bring himself to _care._

"I thought we ran out _months ago,"_ he manages, astonished. "How'd you manage—?"

"Saved it," Theo says easily, "for a rough day. And you've been looking pretty rough, lately."

" _God,"_ Liam breathes, heart _pounding_ , breath catching, stomach fluttering, "God, you're so _amazing."_

Theo laughs, warm and deep against him. Liam can feel it against his chest where Theo’s comfortably nestled between his legs, and it settles into the empty space between his ribs, like it can keep him warm all on it's own.

"You're so _dramatic,"_ Theo says, craning his head back to meet Liam's eyes, before ducking his head back down, fiddling with the extension cable and plugging it into the outlet. "It's just _ravioli."_

" _Amazing,"_ Liam maintains, tightening his arms around Theo's waist and kissing the spot behind Theo's ear, and then a spot lower, down on his neck.

He shuts his eyes again, letting the rising argument serve as white noise.

A couple seconds, and then he feels Theo’s hand reach backwards, blindly groping at his right pocket.

“Mmm,” Liam says, against the skin of his neck, “at least buy me _dinner_ first.”

Theo snorts, but doesn’t stop rummaging around. “That stopped being funny after the first fifty times,” he says.

“Yeah?” Liam asks, hiding a smile against Theo’s shoulder, and then, quieter: “Made you laugh, though.”

Theo shakes his head, and Liam can’t see his face, but he _knows_ he’s smiling. He can tell it from the duck of Theo’s head, the way his ears shift.

 _Made you smile, though,_ Liam thinks, _and you haven’t smiled all day, so it was worth it._

“It’s in the other pocket,” Liam says, after a couple more seconds of Theo digging around.

“No, it's not," Theo replies, not even _willing_ to consider the possibility that Liam might be right about the contents of _his own pockets_ , and Liam's eyes aren't open, so he can't _roll them_ , but he can _try._

"I think I would _know_ which—"

Liam hears the switchblade be tugged out of the pocket Theo's been ransacking, and bites down on the rest of the sentence, because Theo usually doesn't spring for the _'I told you so,'_ unless Liam's been extra annoying that day.

"Wow," Theo says, unimpressed, and Liam blinks the sleep out of his eyes just to watch the way Theo casually flicks it open, absentmindedly graceful, and carves open the sealed can. Something about the flex of Theo's strong fingers around Liam's knife makes him feel flushed, breathless, hot in the cold of the basement. "It's almost like I know you. Imagine that."

Liam huffs, but it's mostly just for show.

The can of ravioli bubbles peacefully on the hot plate in front of them, and Theo slumps back against Liam's chest, his head tipped up to rest the back of it on Liam's shoulder.

When Liam focuses back on the rest of the room, Malia has Stiles pinned to a wall, forearm pressed at his throat.

"You guys don't _get it_ ," Mason is saying. "They're _irrational_. They don't make decisions that make _sense_ , the very basis of their _cause_ isn't logical, so it follows that none of their _actions_ are either."

"Illogical people are dangerous," Kira argues. "Unpredictable. It means we can't work out their next move, because they don't _have_ a pattern."

"But you guys are _ignoring_ their fatal flaw," Mason says, voice rising, fingers flexing around his laptop even though he's not typing anymore. "They _think_ they're _right_ , even though they're _not,"_ he says lowly. "Their entire _thing_ is based on prejudice and violence, and the _tenant_ of their entire fucking _crusade_ is self-righteousness."

Mason's voice echoes through the basement, and everyone else has fallen quiet. Liam's hands are cold, fingers numb, and so he slips them underneath the hem of Theo's shirt, presses his cold palms against the warm, bare skin of Theo's stomach as Theo hisses out a breath between his teeth.

"You're a pain in the ass _,"_ Theo grits out, teeth clenched, although he doesn't make a move to shove Liam's hands off of him, he just presses back harder against Liam's chest.

" _Your_ pain in the ass," Liam murmurs, hooking his chin over Theo's shoulder, and flipping his hands so that the backs of them can be warmed by Theo's heat too.

Theo sighs, irritated. A couple beats of silence, and then: " _My_ pain in the ass," he concedes, begrudging.

"They think they're _right_ , they think they're _perfect,_ they think they're _helping_ people, _saving_ them, by _converting_ them, by _brainwashing_ them," Mason's says, and Malia finally releases Stiles from the wall.

"They don't think they need help," Malia says, suddenly, turning to face Mason. "That's what you're getting at, aren't you? They think they're the moral—" she waves her hand, vaguely, " _whatever—"_

"Judge, jury," Lydia says, perched on one of the old storage boxes, "executioner."

" _That_ ," Malia accepts, "They think they're a— a perfect cause, a—" she pauses.

"Self-sustainable one," Kira offers, coming up to stand at her shoulder, to stand sentinel. "They think they only need their _belief_ , they haven't considered everything else, because they're—"

" _Irrational,"_ Mason finishes.

"Damn," Corey whispers, almost appearing out of thin air next to them, but neither of them startles, they're too used to it at this point. "Where'd you get the _pasta?"_

"Theo's dining me like a _real_ gentleman," Liam says, grinning. "Spoils me, this one, he really does."

"Very romantic," Corey agrees. "Where've you been hiding _that_ , Raeken?"

"Up my ass," Theo says absently, just as he tosses a glove back to smack Liam in the face, but it still isn't enough to wipe the smile off. "The whole can. Like a bag of cocaine."

Putting the glove on means he has to take his hands out from underneath Theo's shirt, but it's a sacrifice that he has to make for the _ravioli._

"Yeah?" Corey asks, a beatific smile sliding onto his face. "Probably best that only Liam's eating it then, huh?"

Liam chokes on his own spit, trying not think about _that_ , because Theo is sitting pressed up right against his front, he would _feel_ if Liam started to think about _that_ ; about spreading him out with his hands and laving his tongue _inside_ —

Liam coughs, surreptitiously.

Corey shuffles closer, just as Theo pulls the folding spoon out from the pouch next to the hot plate, and Liam picks the steaming can up with his gloved hand. Corey absentmindedly unplugs the hot plate.

Just as Theo hands Liam the spoon, Corey groans. "You guys are so _warm,"_ he grumbles, pressing closer until his shoulder is pressed flush with Liam's, just as Liam's shoveling the first spoon of ravioli into his mouth, and _Liam_ groans, because canned ravioli isn't _good_ , but compared to the rest of the shit they have down here, _god._

"Good?" Theo turns around to ask, amused, and Liam nods, vigorous.

" _Amazing,"_ he repeats, and resists the urge to press his lips back to Theo's skin.

Theo holds his arms out, turning to Corey, and Corey stares.

"Come on," Theo prompts, rolling his eyes. "I _know_ you're cold."

"Are you serious?" Corey asks, brows inching upwards. "You aren't screwing with me right now?"

"Take advantage while he's offering," Liam advises, although it's garbled through a mouthful of pasta. "That's my safe place."

Corey doesn't wait another _second_ , before he's curling up into a ball against Theo's chest, Theo's arms wrapping tight around his shoulders.

"Who said you were _allowed_ to be this warm," Corey mumbles, nonsensically, eyelids drooping shut. "Who gave you the _right?"_

"It's the arms," Liam offers, but Theo ignores him.

"You want dinner?" Theo asks, and Corey shakes his head.

"Not now," he murmurs. "Warm something up for me later?" Corey asks. "After they're gone?

"Sure, bud," Theo replies, huffing out a laugh.

"Wow," Liam says, surprised at how he's even _surprised_ anymore. "I think that's the _fastest_ I've ever seen him go down."

"He's _tired,"_ Theo replies, but Liam just snorts.

" _Safe place,"_ he repeats, and Theo unwinds an arm from around Corey's shoulders just to reach around and blindly flick Liam in the ear.

"They don't have contacts on the outside," Mason is saying. "I've been monitoring comms for _months_."

"It's not just us that's bleeding dry," Stiles says, and Mason nods, turning his laptop around to face everyone else.

"I've been keeping track," Mason says. "Storages, inventory, and granted, it's all an estimate, but even if they _have_ been rationing, and I'm pretty sure they _haven't_ —"

"They’re bleeding themselves dry," Lydia finishes. "They're running out, and they aren't planning on reaching out for help. Okay, so: food, water, gas. How are we planning on—?"

"I know some people," Mason says carefully.

The room goes dead silent. Liam takes another bite of ravioli.

Scott, bless his heart, tries to be the one to break the silence. "My dad already—"

"Your _father_ ," Mason says, frowning severely, "is clean. He won't help us, because he _can't_ , but I know some people who _can."_

"You never retired _The Beast,"_ Stiles says, almost sounding _impressed_ , "did you?"

Mason doesn't reply, which is as good as a confirmation, but also he _knows_ Mason would never. _The Beast_ was one of the biggest players underground, and if Mason _had_ retired it, like Scott had asked (like Scott had _begged)_ , they would have been _hopeless_ now.

"Alright," Lydia says, "so if we have the _people_ lined up to get supplies, all we need to do is go liquid."

Stiles and Lydia share a significant look, as Scott frowns. "What would we even _liquidate_?"

"There's a jewelry store," Lydia says, still having some kind of wordless conversation with Stiles. The words are innocuous enough but then, she continues: "On 22nd."

Immediately, the vehement protests come forth.

Malia.

" _22nd,_ are you _joking_? You want us to _rob_ a place on the _East_ side—"

Mason.

"—her people _everywhere, constant_ patrols, _constant_ monitoring—"

Scott.

"—right in Monroe's _backyard_ , Lydia, that's too close, it's not _safe_ , I don't think—"

Kira.

"— _heavy_ artillery, and we'd need to come in _heavier_ , but also be _quiet_ at the same time, or else she'd just call _more—"_

" _OKAY!"_ Stiles roars, and the room drops back into a reluctant, angry kind of silence. He huffs, scrubbing his hand along the underside of his jaw. "I know how we can get in," he says slowly, carefully, looking pained. Looking like he's bracing himself.

"If you're about to suggest _Corey. . ."_ Mason warns, and the threat is clear in the steadiness of his voice, but Stiles brushes it off, shaking his head.

"No, not Corey, we need to do this as soon as _possible_ , which means tomorrow morning," Stiles says. "Corey does his best work at night, and Monroe's patrols are going to be worse in the light of day, but. Quiet enough, heavy artillery," he recounts, and then runs his hands through his hair, almost _nervously._ "Don't bite my head off."

Scott quirks an anxious smile. "Why would we—?"

Stiles turns to Liam and Theo, and Liam understands, a split second before he opens his mouth.

"Oh, _shit_ ," Theo whispers, because _he_ does too.

"Liam and Theo could do it," Stiles says.

Immediately, the room bursts into violent chaos, the argument even _louder_ than before, panicked yells bouncing off the smooth basement walls, grating on Liam's ears. Malia has Stiles pinned back against the wall and Kira has her _nunchucks_ out for some reason, and Lydia is making increasingly violent hand-gesticulations in her explanation to Scott, which is rapidly increasing in both pitch and volume.

"They're _kids_ , and you're gonna send them on a—"

"—fucking _suicide mission_ , that's what this is, are you _serious?"_

"—the light of day, they're going to be—"

"—seen right away, and _sure_ they're heavy artillery, _no one's_ about to forget the _hospital_ , but—"

Theo's still relaxed against his chest though, so Liam isn't worried.

"What do you think?" Theo says, voice low, turning his head, and Liam chews thoughtfully.

A couple beats of silence, and then:

"Want some?" Liam asks, wiggling the can enticingly, and Theo shoots him an unimpressed look.

"It's _yours,"_ Theo replies. "And besides," he shrugs his shoulders, "my hands are full."

Corey snuffles softly against Theo's stomach, shifting with the movement of Theo's arms.

That's how they usually eat: Liam takes a bite, puts the spoon back in the container, wordlessly passes it to Theo. Theo takes a bite, passes it back. Liam will eat half of anything Theo eats. Back and forth and back and forth until the food is finished.

Well, usually.

Liam turns the can to the nutrition label. "It says _two servings_ ," Liam says. He scoops some ravioli and sauce onto the spoon and holds it out to Theo's mouth.

Theo holds his gaze for a long time, considering, before finally relenting, opening his mouth, and Liam carefully pushes the spoon in between his lips. Theo sucks the ravioli off, chewing slowly, eyes locked with Liam's as he swallows the pasta, throat working, as he licks the sauce off his lips with a slow, deliberate swipe of his tongue.

Liam swallows.

"Good?" he rasps, and Theo just watches him for a bit, before nodding slowly.

Liam takes another bite of ravioli, almost without tasting it. Theo's still watching him.

"More?" Liam asks, voice hoarse, and Theo blinks slowly.

“Please,” Theo whispers. He opens his mouth again.

Liam’s breath catches in his throat, heart thudding painfully in his chest.

He feeds him another spoonful. Months worth of practice keeping a cool head in tense situations is the only reason his hands are steady as he watches Theo’s lips close around the spoon. Theo chews the ravioli, swallows, and then curls his tongue back around the spoon for the excess sauce, and Liam doesn't even notice he's holding his breath until Theo is done, back to watching him.

Liam drags in a ragged inhale, and takes his own bite, searching for the taste of Theo on the spoon.

Just like that, back and forth, until they're at the bottom of the can, and Liam almost startles when the spoon hits metal instead of soft pasta. He catches sight of the sauce on his fingers as he's putting the empty can down, and groans.

"Where are the napkins?" he asks.

"Across the room," Theo says. "And we are _not_ waking Corey up just because _you_ don't know how to use a _spoon."_

"Well, what do _you_ want me to do? There's—"

Theo's lips close around Liam's pinky finger, and the rest of the sentence dies in Liam's throat. His tongue is swirling around Liam's finger, mouth hot and wet, watching Liam with dark eyes and Liam thinks his mouth might still be hanging open because his throat is going dry.

Theo pulls off his finger, and Liam has to swallow _twice_ just to be able to say, "There's still—"

Theo takes his ring finger into his mouth, sucking _hard_ , running his tongue up the underside of his joint, and Liam can _feel_ himself getting hard, but it's a lost cause now, there's no way to stop it.

" _Theo,"_ he manages, pained.

There's no sauce on his last two fingers, but Theo takes them into his mouth anyways, and Liam can't bite back the groan this time, shifting against Theo's back as he twitches in his pants, as Theo flicks his tongue between the two, nips gently at the pad of his finger, lips stretched obscenely around Liam's knuckles.

Really, it's taking all his self control not to grind up against Theo's back.

Theo releases Liam's fingers from his mouth, and his lips are wet. There's a spot of tomato sauce by the corner of his mouth and Liam stares at it for too long, before finally saying, "You've got a little—"

He gestures, vague, and Theo quirks an eyebrow. Liam huffs, before just leaning forward to just lick it off the corner of his smile.

Theo snorts, unwinding one of his arms from around Corey's neck just to push him away with a light shove to his forehead. "You are," Theo says, laughing, "an _actual_ dog, oh my _god_. Taking that whole excitable puppy thing a little _far_ , _Jesus._ "

Liam beams, pulling him closer, and the tension is broken. They're warm and comfortable and full, but the arguing still hasn't stopped.

"You didn't answer my question," Theo says quietly, melting back against Liam's chest. "The jewelry store. What do you think?"

Liam watches his profile for a second. Feels Theo's heart beating through his back, where he's pressed against Liam. The steady, relaxed rise and fall of his chest.

The room full of people he loves, looking battered and bruised. The war taking too much of a toll on all of them.

"I'm with you," Liam says, "you know that. Whatever we decide, whatever _they_ decide. I'm _with you._ "

"I _know_ that. They don't matter," Theo says, shaking his head. "Tell me. What do _you_ think?"

Liam meets his eyes. He doesn't have to say it out loud, Theo knows. Theo always knows. Theo knew as soon as he looked into Liam's eyes, and maybe even before that.

"It's _so_ dangerous, Liam," he says heart beating faster, with fear or excitement, or maybe both, and Liam's can't help but mimic it. "Broad _daylight_ , on the _East side—"_

"We can do it," Liam says, conviction like steel in his veins. "We _can,_ you _know_ we can."

Theo stares back at him, chewing his lip in contemplation.

"It's _us_ ," Liam says, and Theo's lip slides out from between his teeth.

"You're wearing Kevlar," Theo says, decisive, no room for argument in his tone. "None of that _invincible_ bullshit you always try and pull, _Kevlar_ , you hear me?"

"Yes, dear," Liam says, grin stretching wider, because he _knows_ what this means.

Theo has made up his mind _._

"I will _glue it_ to your fucking _chest_ , if I have to," Theo says, frowning, and Liam laughs, bright.

"You _wouldn't_ ," Liam says. "You like my chest hair too much."

Theo shoots him one of the _nastiest_ looks Liam has ever been on the receiving end of, one that promises great pain and suffering, but it just makes Liam's smile grow.

"We're doing this?" Liam asks, and Theo nods, turning to press his temple to Liam's forehead.

"We're doing this," Theo says, low and sure. "We're robbing the jewelry store."

\---

Liam clears his throat.

" _We'll do it_ ," he announces. He doesn't yell, but somehow, his voice cuts through the cacophony anyways.

The room is silent, Mason looking at him with wide, disbelieving eyes, Scott staring slack-jawed and shocked.

Theo's back is firm against Liam's chest. Liam can feel his heartbeat like it's his own.

"You're sure?" Stiles asks, brows raised. Everyone else waits for the verdict, shocked out of their temporary animosity, stock-still.

_Thud, thud, thud._

Theo reaches back, grasping blindly, and Liam gives him what he's looking for, tangles their fingers together, squeezes; grounding, anchoring.

"Yeah," Theo says, steady and even. Liam feels Theo squeeze back. "Yeah, we're sure."

\---

"Uh," Liam says, squinting at the index card while Theo paces yet _another_ line down their living room. Except for how their apartment isn't big enough to actually _pace_ , so he's mostly been walking around the coffee table in circles for the past two hours. He finally decides to just do his best and sound it out, the same way he's been doing for most of them so far. "Anti-cholinergics used?"

"Atropine," Theo says quickly, making another round around the table. It's starting to make Liam dizzy just looking at him. "Glycopyrrolate."

Liam flips the card around. "Yeah," he says, nodding. "Good job."

Theo doesn't even pause to quirk a smile, like he usually does. He just keeps moving.

"Okay," Liam says slowly. "What receptors do—"

"M1, M2, M3," Theo says, almost _immediately,_ "presynaptic."

" _Sweetheart,"_ Liam murmurs, concerned, "how much coffee did you _have?"_

"Not _enough_ ," Theo shoots back. "Keep going."

"You're tense," Liam says, and Theo rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, it stresses me out when I'm about to _fail a class, Liam_ ," he replies, gritting his teeth, looking so horribly upset that Liam wants to just wrap him in a blanket and hold him in his arms.

"You're _not_ going to fail," Liam insists. "You've gotten, like, _most_ of them right so _far._ And _besides,_ you've always been good at—"

"Teaching someone how to tie a tourniquet while you're being _shot at_ is _really_ different from being asked about the effects of acepromazine in a _three hour long exam,_ " Theo bites out. "It's fucking _easier_. _Keep going."_

Liam huffs out a breath. "Fine," he relents. "But, you're taking a break after this set."

"I _can't—"_

" _Theo_."

Theo watches him for a bit, clearly trying to spot a chink in the armor, but Liam refuses to budge. Finally, Theo sighs, long and gusty. " _Fine,"_ he concedes.

Liam shuffles the mess on the coffee table around: the notebooks, binders, stacks of index cards, textbooks. He pulls a stack out from underneath one of the larger binders, and flips to the first card.

"Okay," Liam says, slumping back onto the couch. "What makes methadone better than morphine?"

Theo freezes. Frowns. Swivels on his heel until he's facing Liam again. "I have no idea," he says slowly. "That's not in the pile. Where'd you find that card?"

"Uh," Liam says, eyebrows raised, "under that binder."

All it takes is one look at Theo's face, going totally and perfectly blank, for Liam to see that he has started to panic.

"Hey," Liam starts, getting up off the couch and grabbing Theo by the shoulders. "Hey, no, it's _fine_. So, you forgot about it. That's _okay_! We have _time._ " Liam shakes him, just a bit, when all Theo does is stare sightlessly at some spot over Liam's shoulder. "You're _not going to fail."_

Theo nods, jerkily. "You're right," he says, "I'm not." A pause, where he finally meets Liam's eyes. "We have to burn down the school."

It startles a laugh out of Liam, loud and uninhibited, and he wraps his arms around Theo's shoulders, using his weight to pull them _both_ down until they topple onto the couch.

"We are _not_ burning down the school," Liam snickers, pushing his hand into Theo's hair while Theo buries his face into Liam's stomach and groans loudly.

"I hate it here," Theo mumbles into the fabric of Liam's shirt, dragging in a deep, exhausted inhale, before releasing it with a sigh. "We solved a _lot_ of problems back in high school with arson, remember?"

"Yeah, well," Liam manages, biting down on the inside of his cheek and trying not to laugh again because Theo sounds like he's on the verge of murder, and he would _feel_ it against his head. Also, because he's _right._

"You and Mason _met_ because of arson."

" _Alleged_ arson," Liam corrects automatically, and Theo picks his head up just to send him a glare. Liam grins, ducking down to kiss the wrinkle on his forehead. Theo's glare intensifies.

He drops his head back down to Liam's stomach, wrapping his arms around Liam's waist.

"Put your hand back," he grumbles, and Liam has to bite back another snicker.

"You're so cute, sweetheart," he says, dropping his hand back to Theo's head, gently carding through soft hair.

"Fuck you," Theo mutters, like his body isn't melting into Liam's, muscles going lax. "I have to get back up," he says quietly, taking a couple seconds before he starts to move out of Liam's hold, but Liam wraps his legs around Theo's midsection, locking his ankles, before Theo can get too far.

" _No,"_ Liam protests, "absolutely _not._ You're taking a _break."_

" _Liam_ , let _go."_

"Nope."

"I can take you," Theo says, brow quirked, and Liam meets his challenging look with one of his own.

"Maybe," he concedes, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face. "But, none of your stuff on the coffee table would survive."

Theo turns to the table, eyeing the supplies and study material heaped there in unstable piles, complentative. Liam doesn't know _why_ he has to take so long to think about it. The last time they got into a tussle, his Mom had to remodel their living room.

" _Fine_ ," Theo finally grunts, still straining against Liam's hold. "I still have to get started on dinner, though." He hides a yawn in Liam's stomach. "It's almost six-thirty."

"I'll order us dinner," Liam says, grasping for his phone blindly, somewhere on the armrest. It takes a couple tries, but he finally manages to get ahold of it.

" _Us?"_ Theo asks, tilting his head up to meet Liam's eyes. "I thought you had plans."

"Nope," Liam says, tightening his legs and pushing Theo back down as he unlocks his phone, heels digging into Theo's back until Theo finally relents, slumping against Liam's body. "Free evening. The only thing I have _planned_ is helping you study after you take a fucking _nap_."

He opens his messages.

# hayden r. (grocery store)

Hayden
    Wear the jeans!! :)

Me
    stop objectifying me!! :)

Hayden
    no💖

####  **Today** , 6:20 PM

Me
    really sorry, don't think i can make it tonight
    exam tomorrow, v intense cram session in progress rn

Hayden
    Oh YIKES, okay
    All good, no problem! We can just reschedule and celebrate 3 months instead ;)

Hayden
    Which class?

Me
    intro to anesthesiology :/
    premed sucks ass

**Read** 6:24 PM

Hayden
    

"M'not tired," Theo says, but Liam's busy staring at the screen, waiting for a reply.

"Shh," he says, digging his heels in harder, "go to sleep. Naptime."

" _Ow_ , what the _fuck,"_ Theo grumbles. "Why are your feet so fucking _pointy_ , you weirdo."

Liam hushes Theo again, taking one hand off his phone to run though Theo's hair, and Theo grumbles again, sleepily, unintelligibly, against the fabric of Liam's shirt, something that sounds along the lines of _"You're the worst,"_ but Liam's still focused on the three dots that keep appearing and disappearing in the corner of the screen, and Theo's slowing heartbeat; his steady, snuffling breaths.

"I know, baby, I know," he replies absently, twirling a strand of hair around two fingers, finally giving up on the reply that doesn't seem to be coming, and navigating into the Domino's app instead.

\---

# hayden r. (grocery store)

Me
    intro to anesthesiology :/
    premed sucks ass

####  **Today** , 9:47 PM

Hayden
    That it does. Good luck!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well!! i really put liam through it in this one, huh! the sexy ravioli-eating scene was SO much fun to write, so I hope you liked reading it :) they are.... a Mess. liam needs to be sprayed down with a hose (horny jail, he needs to go to horny jail), and theo needs to grow a pair of eyes (he doesn't love you, theo? really? are you SURE?).
> 
> also :) more text messages that actually look like text messages :) now that i've discovered workskins, i will Never go back :)
> 
> Tell me what you liked, what you didn't!! As always, all feedback is welcomed and highly appreciated :)  
> If you want to come scream at me on tumblr, feel free to find me at [inabottlelikelightning](https://www.inabottlelikelightning.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> So!! That happened!!
> 
> Haha, tell me what you liked, what you didn't!! As always, all feedback is welcomed and highly appreciated :)  
> If you want to come scream at me on tumblr, feel free to find me at [inabottlelikelightning](https://www.inabottlelikelightning.tumblr.com/)
> 
> love you guys. happy holidays!! :)  
> -lightning


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